Jokes and memes thread

[Canen]

My wife asked me earlier before going to the hairdressers "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"

 

"A power cut" ....was apparently was the wrong answer.

 

-

 

 

There's something very mysterious yet intriguing about a woman's G Spot.

 

I just can't put my finger on it.....

[Resistor170]

Why did the crab get arrested? 

 

 

Because he kept pinching things! 😂😂🤣🤣Haha

[Gepard]

The American healthcare system

[heroshark]

Why did the monkey fall out the tree?.... It was dead.

[mogaly674]

Not a joke but still funny 

 

 

[Canen]

  On 21/03/2019 at 20:55, Gepard said:

The American healthcare system

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Best one yet.

[Immortal]

[Adolf Hamster]

Yeah, have one of these on another forum i'm on, called it the brexit thread iirc.

[Druid799]

[Robert James]

Seth's threads

[Prisce]

Brexit.

English politics.

 

 

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

[Immortal]

  On 22/03/2019 at 10:52, Prisce said:

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

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Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You'll find me there, staring out at you.

[Albiscuit]

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

I had the wrong socks on....

 

 

 

 

I have a joke about my cock..

 

Never mind its too long!!

[E21A]

  On 22/03/2019 at 10:52, Prisce said:

Brexit.

English politics.

 

 

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

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My thoughts too, pretty sure I’d get banned 😂

[BibbsOnTour]

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

 

Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat

 

🐸

[Prisce]

  On 22/03/2019 at 09:19, Robert James said:

Seth's threads

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I read this and thought, when did Seth post a picture of himself, his clothes can’t be that bad, absolutely savage. 

Then remembered I’m on a forum.. and that’s what posts are called..🤦🏻‍♂️

[Druid799]

  On 22/03/2019 at 10:52, Prisce said:

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

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Take it you’ve not spent a lot of time around squaddies or medics ? 😈

[Prisce]

  On 22/03/2019 at 18:19, Druid799 said:

Take it you’ve not spent a lot of time around squaddies or medics ? 😈

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Not a lot of time.... but let’s just say I have grossed enough people out with jokes over the years, some even I can’t repeat.

[Guest]

What’s blue and doesn’t weigh very much........

 

 

 

 

 

 

........light blue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whats brown and sticky........

 

 

 

...... a stick

 

whats white and sticky.........

 

 

......a white stick

 

 

 

 

whats yellow and sticky........

 

 

........custard !!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

what’s red and doesn’t weigh very much.......

 

 

 

......pink

[Resistor170]

[Guest DrAlexanderTobacco]

Where does a general hide his armies?

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Up his sleevies

 

[Philby21]

  On 27/03/2019 at 16:08, DrAlexanderTobacco said:

Where does a general hide his armies?

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Up his sleevies

 

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Roger De Courcey called, Nookie Bear wants to know where the royalty payments are for his ancient joke??

 

(dear god this dates me!! 😱)

[Guest]

Brexit

[Jedi_Master]

Well...

 

[Albiscuit]

  On 28/03/2019 at 22:08, rocketdogbert said:

Brexit

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Parliament