Jokes and memes thread

[Canen]

My wife asked me earlier before going to the hairdressers "What cut do you think would make me more attractive?"

 

"A power cut" ....was apparently was the wrong answer.

 

-

 

 

There's something very mysterious yet intriguing about a woman's G Spot.

 

I just can't put my finger on it.....

[Resistor170]

Why did the crab get arrested? 

 

 

Because he kept pinching things! ????Haha

[Gepard]

The American healthcare system

[heroshark]

Why did the monkey fall out the tree?.... It was dead.

[mogaly674]

Not a joke but still funny 

 

 

[Canen]

23 minutes ago, Gepard said:

The American healthcare system

Best one yet.

[Immortal]

[Adolf Hamster]

Yeah, have one of these on another forum i'm on, called it the brexit thread iirc.

[Druid799]

[Robert James]

Seth's threads

[Prisce]

Brexit.

English politics.

 

 

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

[Immortal]

3 minutes ago, Prisce said:

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

 

Try looking into that place where you dare not look! You'll find me there, staring out at you.

[Albiscuit]

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

I had the wrong socks on....

 

 

 

 

I have a joke about my cock..

 

Never mind its too long!!

[E21A]

1 hour ago, Prisce said:

Brexit.

English politics.

 

 

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

 

My thoughts too, pretty sure I’d get banned ?

[BibbsOnTour]

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

 

Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat

 

?

[Prisce]

7 hours ago, Robert James said:

Seth's threads

I read this and thought, when did Seth post a picture of himself, his clothes can’t be that bad, absolutely savage. 

Then remembered I’m on a forum.. and that’s what posts are called..??‍♂️

[Druid799]

7 hours ago, Prisce said:

Not sure you guys have a dark enough sense of humour for me to share some of mine.

Take it you’ve not spent a lot of time around squaddies or medics ? ?

[Prisce]

46 minutes ago, Druid799 said:

Take it you’ve not spent a lot of time around squaddies or medics ? ?

Not a lot of time.... but let’s just say I have grossed enough people out with jokes over the years, some even I can’t repeat.

[Guest]

What’s blue and doesn’t weigh very much........

 

 

 

 

 

 

........light blue

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

whats brown and sticky........

 

 

 

...... a stick

 

whats white and sticky.........

 

 

......a white stick

 

 

 

 

whats yellow and sticky........

 

 

........custard !!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

what’s red and doesn’t weigh very much.......

 

 

 

......pink

[Resistor170]

[Guest DrAlexanderTobacco]

Where does a general hide his armies?

 

 

Spoiler

Up his sleevies

 

[Philby21]

On 27/03/2019 at 16:08, DrAlexanderTobacco said:

Where does a general hide his armies?

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Up his sleevies

 

Roger De Courcey called, Nookie Bear wants to know where the royalty payments are for his ancient joke??

 

(dear god this dates me!! ?)

[Guest]

Brexit

[Jedi_Master]

Well...

 

[Albiscuit]

22 hours ago, rocketdogbert said:

Brexit

 

Parliament