Change My Mind .

[Druid799]

We’ve all seen it on YouTube Steven Crowder sets up a table and debates people on confrontational subjects .

So my choice is something I believe is Smegma from the devils foreskin and should be outlawed by the Geneva convention on biological weapons.

Change my mind .

[Floperator]

THIS WILL NOT STAND.

 

Marmite is manna of the Gods, a literal superfood with more vitamins and minerals than a branch of Holland and Barret.

Sure it may be a bit potent for some - the kind of people who think a Korma is 'a bit spicy' - but for the rest of us who can eat things that aren't beige, it's a life-giving sticky syrup of nourishing goodness; a shining bright light in the condiment cupboard.

Spread over some hot buttered toast or crumpets, Marmite says this: that now matter how bad things appear to be, no matter how low we feel, your mate Marmite will always be there for you. It is our port in the storm, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

And your lack of gratitude for this frankly disgusts me.

 

 

 

Mayonnaise on the other hand is the condiment of SATAN, and 99 times out of 100 is only added to a dish to camouflage the portion of baby gravy that a vengeful and underpaid chef has blurted into your food.

 

[Adolf Hamster]

urgh, marmite, isn't that the shit they scrape out of the bottom of a brewing vat? yanno, the crap most companies throw in the trash?

 

mayo is a tricky one, uk brands are crap flavorless goo, but you get the continental stuff? hmmm goes lovely on chips.

 

however whilst we're on the topic of foods needing burned in eternal hellfire we can start with liquorice, it genuinely mystifies me how anyone can actually like that stuff enough to actually eat it, let alone pay money for it....

[Dan Robinson]

I can eat this stuff with a spoon. 

 

Lived with one lass who had a recipe that used it with noodles, and but that is just wrong. 

 

We get the catering tubs sometimes in Costco. 

[Stratton Oakmont]

Neg airsoft uses it as his special cylinder/gearbox grease. (So he tells me, cos I know him really well)

[Tommikka]

They say you love it or hate it, but there is middle ground. 
 

On eating I would be on the hate side, but I can easily not put it into my mouth.

 

Marmite to me is the scent I would wake up to in the great party house of old Amesbury town and brings back many fond memories waking up on that floor …… including the final occasion:

 

Unusually fond as:

At the initial more ‘public’ party in the function room of the Stonehenge Inn Durrington I made a new lady friend, and became separated from my group. I failed to interpret the status of her male friend and should have been subject to the minimum of a punch in the face.

Making a tactical departure, and considering taxi waiting times, I walked with other new friends/strangers from Durrington to Amesbury expecting to meet the after party in full swing

 

But I discovered the crowd struggling with a ladder and attempting to launch one of the smaller members of the group from the highest reach of the ladder into the upper open part of an upstairs window.

The ladder almost came crashing down as the launcher lost his balance sending the launchee out of sight.

A crashing noise was heard from inside then silence.

At this point I was updated on the dramatics I had missed outside the front of the Inn whilst I was otherwise occupied making a new friend 

The Mr X & Mrs X of the house had opted to open up about the problems in their marriage that had previously been in silence, and both revealed that they were both seeing others.

Major explosions and drams 

 

Mr X had gone off in a huff, presumably to wake up his Miss Y, and Mrs X had called her Mr Y and was left by the crowd once he arrived for Mr Y to calm Mrs X ….. and she sent them ahead with the plan to catch up

The crowd bundled into all available taxis and then realised that all keyholders were AWOL

 

 

 

After some further delay there was a rattling and banging from the inside of the front door

Still no joy - no key found inside for the mortise lock 

Updated instructions were yelled through the letter box for key searches, before an inspirational call cried out “Open the back door and come round the side and unbolt the gate”

(I would possibly have preferred watching another ladder incident to scale the gate)

 

We were in

 

The after party became a sit around session updating all on the various events until Mrs X & Mr Y arrived ….. also with no key, and a few minutes of letter box directions to find the spare before falling back to the side gate route

 

No waking up to marmite this time as no sleep was had, but there became a point in time where the toast and marmite / buttered toast began.  So the usual scent brought some normality 

 

A recce party was sent out to retrieve the kids from the sitters house around the corner & the rest of the morning was occupied by a group of zombie party goers distracting the kids with repeated viewings of Finding Nemo

(My first viewing - and hearing the words ‘just keep swimming just keep swimming’ also bring the fond memories just like marmite)

 

During one of the viewings there was a knock at the door, and a confused courier was wary about handing a parcel to a strange crowd as they informed him that the front door can’t be opened and that we all broke in round the back last night.  Probably too much detail, but he finally handed it over and surprisingly didn’t send the police

 

 

To sum up - I’m a marmite hater but scent of marmite lover 

 

 

PS

 

After the dramatics things went amicably, the kids built mum a downstairs bedroom and Mr & Mrs lived seperately together much better 

They divorced, the party house was sold and they all lived happily ever after 

 

Party life was never the same again

[Rogerborg]

Marmite has been (seriously) suggested as the solution to conflict in the Middle East.

 

They say it's to address a zinc deficiency, but clearly the real result would be to unite the entire region in fully justified loathing of the foul Satanic sludge.

[concretesnail]

Marmite. Glorious marmite.

 

Drizzle it on top of crunchy peanut butter, so good.

[Floperator]

28 minutes ago, Rogerborg said:

Marmite has been (seriously) suggested as the solution to conflict in the Middle East.

 

They say it's to address a zinc deficiency, but clearly the real result would be to unite the entire region in fully justified loathing of the foul Satanic sludge.

 

You mean...Yeast in the Middle East

 

 

 

[strykerles]

tastes like ass when eaten neat

 

good to put in stuff when cooking

[Adolf Hamster]

6 hours ago, Stratton Oakmont said:

Neg airsoft uses it as his special cylinder/gearbox grease. (So he tells me, cos I know him really well)

 

i'm calling bs on that

 

because that would mean marmite had utility, which i refuse to believe......

[Shamal]

I was started on marmite when I was a baby and it's still as good now as it was then. We also had Oxo cubes neat. Not done me any harm 🤪

 

 

[Adolf Hamster]

4 minutes ago, Shamal said:

it's still as good now as it was then

 

 

4 minutes ago, Shamal said:

We also had Oxo cubes neat. Not done me any harm 🤪

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

I can take it leave it

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Cheese on Marmite spread toast, dipped in Tabasco'ed Heinz tomato soup.  Bloody beautiful.

 

The explosive diarrhoea half an hour later is less so.  

 

Tasty purgative tbh.  Try it if you take strong opiates and suffer the attendant problems I imagine.   I avoid the stuff.

[AirSniper]

Marmite... the problem is that people underestimate it power, a very little amount goes a long way.

A teaspoonful in a hot pot or pot roast makes for a more meaty taste because of the Umami or meatyness it adds to the stock. 

Add some to tomato soup in small amounts and the soup takes on a more rich flavour.

Add to gravy to give it the extra oompfh.

 

Its a case of the old saying, "A little dab will do ya." in many cases... 

Also you have to respect it because the use of too much will give you a Niacin Flush (look it up, I gave myself this from eating too much) 
 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

2 hours ago, AirSniper said:

Also you have to respect it because the use of too much will give you a Niacin Flush (look it up, I gave myself this from eating too much) 
 

I used to slather bread in the stuff as a kid.  Surprised that I avoided that having looked it up.

[Cannonfodder]

 

On 23/06/2022 at 09:49, Druid799 said:

We’ve all seen it on YouTube Steven Crowder sets up a table and debates people on confrontational subjects .

So my choice is something I believe is Smegma from the devils foreskin and should be outlawed by the Geneva convention on biological weapons.

Change my mind .

[strykerles]

I'm gonna do the next one

 

Pineapple should NOT EVER BE ON A PIZZA!!!  

 

Change my mind 

[Adolf Hamster]

1 hour ago, strykerles said:

Change my mind 

 

You say that like there's any rational argument that could do so.

 

But we both know the world is split into 2 kinds of people: people who dont like pineapple on pizza, and heretics.

[Davegolf]

Theres a 3rd kind, i dont like pizza full stop

[RostokMcSpoons]

Sweet + savoury.   Hmmm, I'm deffo on the side of disliking Hawaiian pizza as a thing, but on the other hand I do enjoy the Yorkshire ridiculousness that is Apple Pie wit' t'Cheddar.  Or indeed cheddar with marmalade.  So it's not like I'm totally averse to similar flavour combinations.  

But I don't ever want to be chased by the Italian (Pizza) Mafia?   Nah. So in the bin it goes.

[Druid799]

1 hour ago, strykerles said:

I'm gonna do the next one

 

Pineapple should NOT EVER BE ON A PIZZA!!!  

 

Change my mind 

The only reason to have pineapple on pizza is to piss off the Italians , end off .

58 minutes ago, Davegolf said:

Theres a 3rd kind, i dont like pizza full stop

WHAT !!!!! 😱how by all that’s holy and magnificent can you not like pizza ? You’ve got doughy bread , cheese and tomato gloop and then what ever other fripperies you wish to add AND it’s just as good cold the next day ! 🤤

[Davegolf]

I must ask the question, if you hate it (Marmite) so much why do you want your mind changed?

 

It is actually contains some vitamins that are hard to source, lasts eons, is quick and easy to 'dish' up.

Cant go wrong with classic Marmite and butter on toast!

[Rogerborg]

5 minutes ago, Davegolf said:

Cant go wrong with classic Marmite and butter on toast!