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Best Bad War/Combat Movies Ever?

Finius

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Finius Mentor

Finius

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So I'm sat in a hotel at the moment watching Second In Command.

 

It's awful.

 

Like, really awful.

 

So far I have witnessed EVERY cliche know to filmkind.

 

And did you know, that if you cut the power cables to a cctv camera - the front of it will explode?

 

Also, guns don't have recoil (who knew, everyone who's paid for a Recoil Shock has been ripped off).

 

And EVERYTHING ELSE.

 

Bad guys ALWAYS stand right in front of their enemy without armour of barricades or any substantial cover, because they've got a hostage and that makes it totally safe.

 

The American embassy has a compound with a 10ft concrete wall and a solid steel, foot thick gate. BUT, because the enemy are coming, on foot, with mixed assault weapons, they feel the need to put a wardrobe against the front door to make sure the baddies stay out.

 

The hero is a suave tough guy with a troubled past and a strange accent, and sure, he did that thing that time where he got everyone killed, but he NEVER misses and he NEVER needs to show caution because he's such a master tactician that he makes Shih-Tzu or whoever it was (who wrote the art of war) look like a three year old mashing his head against a keyboard whilst playing My Little Pony Island Adventure.

 

And there's oh so so so much more.

 

It's almost as bad as Olympus Has Fallen where the SAM system deploys out of the top of the whitehouse (in the opening scenes where they shoot down the AC130, it literally pops up out of the oval office so it must be awful cramped for Obama seeing as he's three billion f**king feet tall).

 

I'm only watching this s**t because babestation isn't on yet...

 

What's everyone elses favorite awful war films? :D

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EvilMonkee Grand Master

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Battle of the Bulge, makes me cringe every time I see M24 Chaffees playing as Shermans and then the action suddenly switches to the Mexican desert from the Ardennes??? Only decent bit is the singing of Panzer Lied.

Now Stalingrad - that's a good movie (the original German version)

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SimonQuigley Experienced

SimonQuigley

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Battle: LA (the newest one) It's all relatively decent until the last 45/30 mins, when the team find the what appears to be mothership, the team leader, somehow pulls a laser designator out of his arse, and then the crippled US military with seemingly no more FOBs or HQ's launch a sh*t load of missiles onto this ship. Don't even get me started on the scene where the dude packs himself and about enough C4 to level a building into a bus and has zero collateral damage.

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Moose87 Proficient

Moose87

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I am soldier, about a guy going through SAS selection. when on escape and evasion he decides to make a fire and have a little sleep on the first night! muppet. also within 5 mins of passing selection hes on a mission to take down terrorists. apparently SAS become krav maga specialists after a few training sessions.

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Josh95 Mentor

Josh95

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I recently watch Zero dark 30, there isnt much actual combat action but it is quite an engaging watch; its about how they found bin laden and killed him.

 

Of course black hawk down is a good film if you just want some action. I watched behind enemy lines quite recently i thought it was a bit... too unrealistic running through explosions and the Serbians missing every shoot at 100m range but yeh.

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Moose87 Proficient

Moose87

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black hawk down annoys me, they are like 20 us soldiers lost their lives in this engagement but they killed over 1000 Somalians!

 

The Patriot with mel gibson!!! firing flint lock muskets in the rain??? more chance of pining diarrhea to a wall. they make out they are heroic and stuff. terrorists!

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Lozart Grand Master

Lozart

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Navy Seals. The one with Charlie Sheen in it. The only decent part of the whole film is Sheens direct copy of the "boring conversation anyway" line from Star Wars.

 

Anything with Steven Segal in it. Under Siege is ONLY worth watching for Erika Eleniaks perky, perky boobs.

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Samurai Veteran

Samurai

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Seal Patrol (original title is Blackjacks). The story is not that great but the tactics and the tactical movements of the actors are absolutely amazing. Better than the Act of Valor with real seals in it. :)

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Lozart Grand Master

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Seal Patrol (original title is Blackjacks). The story is not that great but the tactics and the tactical movements of the actors are absolutely amazing. Better than the Act of Valor with real seals in it. :)

 

I saw Act of Valor (mostly because of the chick from Without a Trace but also - guns). It's amazing how bad the acting is and yet the action scenes are some of the best I've seen in war films.

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straffham Experienced

straffham

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Navy Seals. The one with Charlie Sheen in it. The only decent part of the whole film is Sheens direct copy of the "boring conversation anyway" line from Star Wars.

Yeah, he's rediculously gung go. And some of the Seals appear to be wearing SS dot camo when taking the house with the missiles out, not sure how that blends in with the local wear!

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straffham Experienced

straffham

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OK not a film, but the "Sharpe" series, specifically the battle scenes, which never seem to feature more than a total of about 20 combatants in what historically were some huge battles. Like Sharpes Waterloo where they defend the farmhouse as its the only bit small enough to get away with so few people!

 

The film Waterloo on the other hand is epic with a cast of thousands and incredible battle field panoramic filming. Apart from the cavalry charge where the officer is obviously riding a rocking horse. . . .

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Lozart Grand Master

Lozart

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Blue Max. No, not a porno but a WW1 fighter ace film. You can actually see the "crashing" planes pulling out of their dives as they get near the ground. FFS

 

And don't get me started on all the Me109s in The Battle of Britain with the wrong engines!

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skarra333 Collaborator

skarra333

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The latest one? If so i can agree, please someone tell me why they would drive the train carrying a missile across a bridge :wacko:

 

That's where the train tracks went...?

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straffham Experienced

straffham

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Blue Max. No, not a porno but a WW1 fighter ace film. You can actually see the "crashing" planes pulling out of their dives as they get near the ground FFS!

Just like the Dakota transport "crash" on A Bridge Too Far. . . . . . Love that film though!

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