Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 I went to an AA meeting once. I was disgusted to discover that all of them were alcoholics. I cancelled my membership and joined the RAC instead! Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 23, 2022 Author Share Posted November 23, 2022 RAC are worse. Raging Alcoholic Club.they actually drive you to drink lol Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madhouse Posted November 23, 2022 Share Posted November 23, 2022 (edited) Went for a curry the other day, when ordering the waiter suggested I try a Chicken Tarka. I asked what it was like and he said it was similar to a Chicken Tikka, but just a little otter. (fully accept that some of our younger members may need to use google to 'get' this one) 😂 Edited November 23, 2022 by Madhouse concretesnail, Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 23, 2022 Author Share Posted November 23, 2022 My front door is alarmed after 5pm. Before that it's just generally anxious. Tactical Pith Helmet, Cannonfodder and Khyber 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted November 24, 2022 Share Posted November 24, 2022 14 hours ago, Madhouse said: Went for a curry the other day, when ordering the waiter suggested I try a Chicken Tarka. I asked what it was like and he said it was similar to a Chicken Tikka, but just a little otter. (fully accept that some of our younger members may need to use google to 'get' this one) 😂 And now I feel really fucking old Tactical Pith Helmet, Shamal and Madhouse 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
concretesnail Posted November 24, 2022 Share Posted November 24, 2022 19 hours ago, Madhouse said: Went for a curry the other day, when ordering the waiter suggested I try a Chicken Tarka. I asked what it was like and he said it was similar to a Chicken Tikka, but just a little otter. (fully accept that some of our younger members may need to use google to 'get' this one) 😂 Another older member here. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 24, 2022 Author Share Posted November 24, 2022 I called the RSPCA and told them there was a weasel hanging off my ceiling fan, but the person on the other end of the phone didn't believe me so I told them 'You'll just have to take my whirred ferret. 🤦 Yes I know...I'll get my coat. Tactical Pith Helmet, Rogerborg, Tackle and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 25, 2022 Share Posted November 25, 2022 My pet rat has a wooden leg. He's a pi-rat. Rogerborg and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 25, 2022 Author Share Posted November 25, 2022 15 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: My pet rat has a wooden leg. He's a pi-rat. I'll let you have that one on account of my ferret offering. But really?? 🤣 Don’t you just hate it when you want to give someone a sincere compliment on their moustache and as soon as you do…. ….. she’s not your friend anymore!!? Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 Two mice are walking down the pavement. A beautiful woman passes them. The first mouse says “Wow! Did you see the ass on her?!” The other mouse responds “It was nice, but I’m a titmouse myself.” Shamal and Rogerborg 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madhouse Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 What’s the best cheese for hiding horses? Mascarpone Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 26, 2022 Author Share Posted November 26, 2022 1 minute ago, Madhouse said: What’s the best cheese for hiding horses? Mascarpone Somebody's opening the crackers early! 😂 Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 26, 2022 Author Share Posted November 26, 2022 Last night my wife started saying that in 1892, she had written the Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Yes she was Tolkien in her sleep again. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 26, 2022 Share Posted November 26, 2022 Uncle Bob 'I saw a flock of cows today.' Aunt Janet: 'Herd of cows.' Uncle Bob 'Of course I have. They go moo.' Shamal and Rogerborg 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 27, 2022 Author Share Posted November 27, 2022 I used to date an algebra teacher. I never could quite work her out, though. I guess that’s y she’s my x Rogerborg, Tactical Pith Helmet, SBoardley and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted November 27, 2022 Moderators Share Posted November 27, 2022 SBoardley, Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 27, 2022 Share Posted November 27, 2022 A group of friends are on a boozy girls night. 'I call my husband the dentist. He gives me a right good drilling.' 'I call mine the miner. He's got a lovely shaft.' 'I call mine the postman. He comes late and often in the wrong box.' Shamal, Tackle and Cannonfodder 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 28, 2022 Author Share Posted November 28, 2022 I finally managed to convince my wife to watch Back to the future. I tell you what ! It's ... about time. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 29, 2022 Share Posted November 29, 2022 The Bayeux Tapestry is not historically accurate. The whole story has been embroidered! Shamal and Jedi_Master 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lord loki Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 (edited) Joke 1 three guys In pub talking about dick sizes First says I got a 8" dong and flips it on table Second says I got 10" and flops it on table Third says I got 14"and flops it on table Gay guy walks in and SAYS OH A HELP YASELF BUFFET" joke 2 What you nuts on a wall Walnuts What you call nuts on your chest Chest nuts What you can nuts on your chin A mouth full of cock Edited November 30, 2022 by Lord loki Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madhouse Posted November 30, 2022 Share Posted November 30, 2022 on the current dick theme, mine was in the Guinness Book of World Records ... until the librarian told me to leave. Tactical Pith Helmet, Shamal and Jedi_Master 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 30, 2022 Author Share Posted November 30, 2022 Well mine is shaped like a rocket.....the wife is over the moon! Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted December 2, 2022 Share Posted December 2, 2022 (edited) A Yorkshireman goes into a vets. "It's me cat veterinary. It's piss smells rotten" "Is it a tom?" "No, it's in this basket." Edited December 4, 2022 by Tactical Pith Helmet Jedi_Master, Shamal and Tackle 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted December 3, 2022 Author Share Posted December 3, 2022 .Absolutely fuming!!!! 😡😡😠 Just got home to find all of my windows open! They've taken everything 😢😢😢 Dirty rotten thieving so and so's!!!! You wait until I find you!!!👀 How can people just think they can take what ever they want?? That was MY advent calendar and YOU had no right to open the windows and steal all of my Chocolates. They were for ME.....🤣 Tactical Pith Helmet and Tackle 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator Jedi_Master Posted December 3, 2022 Head Moderator Share Posted December 3, 2022 My nan is really old, and she spends hours just staring through the lounge window. Sometimes, when it is really cold outside we let her into our house. Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet, Tackle and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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