Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 12, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 12, 2022 I have a record for having sex with celebrities. I also have a ban from Madam Tussauds. 2MT Paul, Zarrin, Cannonfodder and 3 others 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 23 hours ago, Shamal said: How the heck did you find that? Funny really cause yesterday It was mentioned about Mr Tackles penchant for feathers 🤣🤣🤣 Regards Faceache group called Angry People in Local Newspapers Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofsammo Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 My wife said to me the other day "and what's more, you never bloody listen!" That's a funny way to start a conversation, I thought. I decided to get a vasectomy because I didn't want kids. Sadly they were still there when I got home from the operation. My wife told me to get in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car. Then didn't talk to her for a week. Zarrin, Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 13, 2022 Author Share Posted March 13, 2022 I went to B&Q yesterday for a length of 4×2(150×50). Salesman asked how long I wanted it? I said that I was rather hoping to keep it. Rogerborg, Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonofsammo Posted March 13, 2022 Share Posted March 13, 2022 I ended up in the cells the other day. I'd gone to B&Q to look for some wood for the garden. This cock in an orange overall asked me if I wanted decking. So I got the first punch in. Shamal, Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 13, 2022 Author Share Posted March 13, 2022 3 hours ago, sonofsammo said: I ended up in the cells the other day. I'd gone to B&Q to look for some wood for the garden. This cock in an orange overall asked me if I wanted decking. So I got the first punch in. Like it.👍 sonofsammo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 13, 2022 Author Share Posted March 13, 2022 I walked past the bookmakers this morning and saw a sign that said Open Sunday 11-4. I thought that’s worth a tenners bet considering they were open last Sunday and good odds too.🙂 Skullchewer, sonofsammo and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 15, 2022 Author Share Posted March 15, 2022 13 minutes ago, Maxxx17 said: I found an 18+ video on the Internet with my parents. What should I do now? Say it like it is. You mean porn lol. First thing that springs to mind is blackmail lol 😆 😂 Regards Skullchewer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post sonofsammo Posted March 15, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 15, 2022 I told my friend the other day that I built a model of the Himalayas. He asked "to scale?" I replied "no, just to look at". Tactical Pith Helmet, EDcase, Shamal and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 15, 2022 Author Share Posted March 15, 2022 My Grandad always said "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more" Great bloke... Terrible anaesthetist... Tactical Pith Helmet, Skullchewer, EDcase and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 If you need to know the difference between a chickpea and a lentil, remember that no one has ever paid for a lentil on their chest. Skullchewer and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator Jedi_Master Posted March 16, 2022 Head Moderator Share Posted March 16, 2022 20 hours ago, Maxxx17 said: I found an 18+ video on the Internet with my parents. What should I do now? And you are unsure which is worse: seeing your mother naked or continuing to wank over the video . Skullchewer 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 17, 2022 Share Posted March 17, 2022 Our local neighbourhood association are arguing about whether we should complain about the woman next door. She spends half her time sunbathing naked in her garden. I'm on the fence myself. EDcase, Jedi_Master and Skullchewer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 On 15/03/2022 at 17:57, Maxxx17 said: I found an 18+ video on the Internet with my parents. What should I do now? Link please Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Skullchewer Posted March 18, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 18, 2022 Greggs have announced plans to start a delivery service using drones. All sounds a bit pie in the sky to me. Tactical Pith Helmet, zwez, SBoardley and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 18, 2022 Author Share Posted March 18, 2022 Hi guys Got back from work today and my little Jack Russel had got out through cat flap.😥 Just though maybe you could all keep a look out for him. Description.... Blind in one eye No tail due to accident with strimmer Three legs oh and Part of left ear missing. Lovely dog. Answers to name of Lucky. Thanks EDcase and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 18, 2022 Share Posted March 18, 2022 My dear mother was unfortunately afflicted with a beak rather than lips. Lovely woman but she had a fowl mouth. EDcase, Skullchewer and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 20, 2022 Author Share Posted March 20, 2022 Just to warn you, there is a thief who's been stealing people's clothes off of their clothes line. The thief has apparently been stealing them in order of size. Whoever it is, they are still at large. Regards Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 20, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 20, 2022 Scientists have announced a new major study into the effects of cannabis on sea birds. They intend to leave no tern unstoned in their research. Zarrin, Shamal, Cr0-Magnon and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 20, 2022 Author Share Posted March 20, 2022 16 minutes ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: Scientists have announced a new major study into the effects of cannabis on sea birds. They intend to leave no tern unstoned in their research. Yes good one 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 22, 2022 Author Share Posted March 22, 2022 In our search for ever cleaner and cheaper fuels, Engineers have just developed a car that can run on parsley. Now they're hoping to make buses that can run on thyme.🤭 Regards Zarrin, Tactical Pith Helmet and Tackle 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 24, 2022 Author Share Posted March 24, 2022 Today I’ve undertaken my first ever sponsored Semaphore marathon . Unfortunately, I'm now 20 hours in and starting to flag quite badly . Tactical Pith Helmet, RostokMcSpoons and Skullchewer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 Sad news. My mate Dave hanged himself at that new modern art gallery in town. Took three weeks before someone realised that he wasn't an exhibit. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 On 22/03/2022 at 19:34, Shamal said: Now they're hoping to make buses that can run on thyme.🤭 Regards Really trying not make a Mussolini joke there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 26, 2022 Author Share Posted March 26, 2022 Well yeah it could be applied to trains as well 🙂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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