Shamal Posted December 19, 2021 Author Share Posted December 19, 2021 Anybody on here want a vacuum cleaner? It's of no use me. It's just sat in cupboard gathering dust. 😉 Regards Paul72 and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted December 20, 2021 Share Posted December 20, 2021 Police knocked on my door this evening. 'Where were you between four and six?' they asked. 'Primary school,' I promptly answered. Seriously, what a waste of public money! Skullchewer, Paul72 and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBoardley Posted December 23, 2021 Share Posted December 23, 2021 Heard this one the other day: Q: Why is Santas sack so big? A: Because he only comes once a year!! Paul72 and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul72 Posted December 25, 2021 Share Posted December 25, 2021 Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him EDcase and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EDcase Posted December 25, 2021 Share Posted December 25, 2021 10 minutes ago, Paul72 said: Why does Santa always enter through the chimney? Because it soots him You got that from a cracker didn't you? 🙄😆 Paul72 and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul72 Posted December 25, 2021 Share Posted December 25, 2021 Perzackly 😹 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirSniper Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Dug up a classic... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBoardley Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 3 hours ago, AirSniper said: Dug up a classic... Are you a nonce? This is bad taste. Please delete. Tackle and Paul72 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted December 26, 2021 Moderators Share Posted December 26, 2021 2 hours ago, SBoardley said: Are you a nonce? This is bad taste. Please delete. He ain't right, of that I've no doubt 🤬 Shamal and Paul72 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted December 26, 2021 Author Share Posted December 26, 2021 How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger…boom boom! 😅 Regards Tackle, Paul72 and SBoardley 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colinjallen Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 5 hours ago, SBoardley said: Are you a nonce? This is bad taste. Please delete. Dear old Lem would not have been happy with that. I don't think bad taste quite captures it. Paul72 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirSniper Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted December 30, 2021 Share Posted December 30, 2021 I excitedly opened my present on Christmas morning, the sheer delight when I saw the Gibson logo on the box, but when I finally got to opening it, it was empty. "What the fuck? " I yelled. "You like it? " shouted my wife. "I got you your own Gibson air guitar, now you can really rock out. " Paul72 and EDcase 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Paul72 Posted January 2, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 2, 2022 Zarrin, EDcase, Tactical Pith Helmet and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Shamal Posted January 2, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 2, 2022 Hi all. If anyone on here is interested I've just heard that the British museum has recently taken delivery of a new exhibit. It's an Egyptian mummy but instead of the usual mummification process this one was covered in chocolate and crushed nuts. They have called it Pharaoh Rochè....😀😀 Regards EDcase, Tactical Pith Helmet, Zarrin and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAX DICKER Posted January 2, 2022 Share Posted January 2, 2022 45 minutes ago, Shamal said: Hi all. If anyone on here is interested I've just heard that the British museum has recently taken delivery of a new exhibit. It's an Egyptian mummy but instead of the usual mummification process this one was covered in chocolate and crushed nuts. They have called it Pharaoh Rochè....😀😀 Regards The Egyptian ambassador is really spoiling us. Tactical Pith Helmet and Paul72 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted January 2, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 2, 2022 A bear walks into a bar. 'Whisky and...........................................................................................soda please,' he tells the barman. 'What's with the massive pause?' the barman asks. 'Dunno,' says the bear, 'I was born with them.' Paul72, Shamal, RostokMcSpoons and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted January 2, 2022 Author Share Posted January 2, 2022 2 minutes ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: A bear walks into a bar. 'Whisky and...........................................................................................soda please,' he tells the barman. 'What's with the massive pause?' the barman asks. 'Dunno,' says the bear, 'I was born with them.' The old ones are the best 👌 😄 Paul72 and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted January 5, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 5, 2022 I was in the gym changing rooms at lunchtime with my mate Tom. I turned around to speak to him and couldn't help noticing that he was wearing a lace thong. 'Bloody hell mate!' I said. 'How long have you worn skimpy women's lace underwear?!' 'Since my wife found some in the glove compartment of my car,' he replied. Paul72, Shamal, Cannonfodder and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirSniper Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 Lacking support... Tactical Pith Helmet, Cannonfodder, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted January 7, 2022 Share Posted January 7, 2022 I think musician Peter Gabriel is secretly an airsofter. The give away is a verse from Games without Frontiers "Andre has a red flag, Chiang Ching's is blue (usual armband colours) They all have hills to fly them on except for Lin Tai Yu (Lin didn't get any of the objectives) Dressing up in costumes, playing silly games Hiding out in tree-tops shouting out rude names" (Sounds like a typical Sunday skirmish) Paul72, Jedi_Master and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 Just had a bit of a row with my wife. She reckons I'm terrible at fixing electrical appliances. She's in for a shock later! Paul72 and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted January 8, 2022 Author Share Posted January 8, 2022 In a similar vein.... I bought my mother in law a nice chair for Christmas. Wife won't let me plug it in though! 👹 Regards Paul72, Tactical Pith Helmet and EDcase 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Just learned that all Norwegian military vessels have barcodes on their bows. Apparently, when they get back to port, the harbour master can Scandinavian! Zarrin and Paul72 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirSniper Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Fact... Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet, Paul72 and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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