Tactical Pith Helmet

Fencers wear suits that register hits. No reason that airsofters couldn't in a real competition.

Just played poker with some weed smoking cows. It was a high steaks game!

Spot on! I vote we nominate someone on the forum to act as spokesperson for the Airsofters' Alliance and ask them to put out authoritative press statements until they're accepted as a lazily sourced supplier of info for time pressed journos. We'll read through the UK Law threads and select Rogerborg someone.

Get the German ones, but be careful re: width. They come in about eight different fittings and most sellers only flog them by main size. My son's SOF jungles lasted for years, only dying when the soles eventually crumbled into a sticky mush when worn totally smooth. He is still regarded reproachfully by his grandmother with the once pristine cream coloured carpet...

I've lost a bit of weight recently by wearing bread on top of my head. It's a loaf hat diet....

Went to my bosses funeral today. I knelt by the coffin and whispered, 'Who's thinking outside the box now then, Dave?'

I thought that that was a plate from Grogan's Cape to Cairo, but its a bit earlier and bloody fascinating: https://digitalcollections.nypl.org/collections/savage-africa-being-the-narrative-of-a-tour-in-equatorial-southwestern#/?tab=about Has unicorns in apparently. Love the look of outrage on the gorilla's face, and its over emphasised opposable big toes. Here's Grogan showing how to get directions from pygmies:

They will strike from underneath given enough of a whack, or a direct strike to the base of the anvil. You really want the base of the primer (bit with the hole) covered as that's where the brisant material will explode from. Look at a fired cartridge that has been hit by a firing pin that is too long. The pin will pierce the striker and the metal of the pin will be burnt to such an extent that the hardening goes and it becomes pitted and brittle. The pierced metal face of the primer will be burned black as it has been exposed to such high temps. Now imagine that amount of heated material hitting human skin. If a primer goes off in your hand for example, it will likely leave a disabling amount of damage. I know I'm harping on, but I've worked in this field years ago.

Went to the Doctors today for an examination. 'Relax and try not to become aroused Dave,' said the Dr. Surprised as hell I answered, 'My name's not Dave.' 'I know,' said the Doc, 'I'm Dave.'

I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers and rabbits' feet. He was pushing his luck!

Primers are a primary explosive. They are inherently volatile. They used to be sold loose in jars or tins, the reason they no longer are is because of risk of chain explosion. It only takes a bit of static electricity. Glad you've never had issues, but I personally wouldn't chance it. Skin grafts are not nice. Here's a quote from a reloading site: 'Avoid handling primers with your hands. Oils and such from your skin can interfere with reliable operation later. Most hand priming tools have trays that allow you to dump primers right from their box onto the tray without handling. Always wear safety glasses when handling primers. Remember the primary explosive part and how they’re designed to go boom from mechanical force? If one gets jammed up and goes off, you won’t want flame, gas, or primer bits going into your eyes. If you use a primer feed tube, as on a progressive reloading press, it’s possible that some weird sequence of events can set off the whole tube, so be careful. Pretend like you’re handling explosives, because… you are! While they’re the little guy in the process, and usually the least expensive component of the reloading process, don’t neglect the primer. Kind of like a stubbed toe, that little thing can make life miserable if not treated with respect.'

My lads first pistol was a G&G 1911 CO2. It was putting out 420 fps. He'd used it at a site that didn't bother chroneing pistols a couple of times before we discovered. This was right at the start that we began playing. I was told not to bother putting it through my chrono at home by the on site bods. Lesson learned, but a painful one for anyone he plugged at close range.

Does anyone know how long it takes to fix a hearing aid? I dropped mine off two weeks ago and I've heard nothing since!

209s are brisant. No way on earth I'd carry them banging around together. Note too that they are all sized slightly differently and have different brisant ratings. Any primer will cause permanent damage if it goes off in your hand or in a pocket with other primers. No way I'd use a Tic Tac box etc. Why not cut the plastic tray that they come in onto strips and cover with electrical tape? Peel the tape as needed, and always use when wearing your eye pro.

I've spent years with pressure groups, political parties etc. Organisation works better than numbers every time. Ever heard of the Taxpayers Alliance? It's 'Britain's non-political grassroots voice of the taxpayer.' It's actually two disgruntled ex-members of one party who seem to get prime press coverage whenever they damn well like. Alternatively, try and get on the executive of Just Stop Oil or Femen...

I talk to my plants and they grow better. I talk to my cows and they produce more milk. It's in one ear and out the udder!

A man has thrown milk over Greta Thunberg. How dairy!?

See also: Jargon: a man from Norfolk running down the road in a tracksuit.

Have your steak knives got holes in the tang through which the scales are pinned? Legally arguable perhaps. This scares me: https://allingtonhughes.co.uk/offensive-weapons-in-your-home/ 'Straight, side-handled or friction-lock truncheon (sometimes known as a baton)' that means that a fisherman's priest could land one in choky. Fucking hell, hide the rounders bat mother, you'll end up in goal!

Both my local sites were cancelled the last two game days. Both inaccessible and unsafe due to deadfall. As for bad weather kit, I like to use a tshirt and combats when I can. I do often take a camping shower and a stove and kettle. The drive home in clean gear and the smell of old Old Spice feels like luxury. I'd prefer Hai Karate but its damn hard to find these days.

My wife asked why I keep drying grapes all over the house. I told her that I have my raisins.

Depend upon the attitude of all involved in any given situation. 'That's my extra deadly melee knife officer.' 'That's quite clearly designed to intimidate people, Sir,' to kid in MTP and webbing complete with rubber stabber sitting in his Mum's Fiesta en-route to a game. Given that chefs have been prosecuted for kitchen knives, I expect the answer is 'possibly.'