Tactical Pith Helmet

The CEO of ACME ladders is retiring. He's stepping down next month.

My wife asked me to clear the dining table tonight. I managed it but I needed a damn good run up.

UKARA is hardly difficult to register with. Play a few hire games, see if you like the hobby properly and then apply yourself. If you are using the rifs legitimately, UKARA is no problem at all.

First thing any cat does upon waking is stretch liked hell! Don't forget to stretch down either, it eases anything that you may have pulled without noticing. Since muscle supports/surrounds joints, staying fit helps a great deal. Of course my preferred ways of getting fit are what led to the injuries in the first place; probably the same for most of us? If I hadn't a love for martial arts and bikes, I'd be less injured, but I wouldn't be fit for my age either. Written sitting supported by cushions whilst elevating leg/foot due to sciatica, planter fasciitis, arthritis, tarsal tunnel and (re)torn rib cartilage. Enjoying a very effective muscle relaxant isotonic sport scotch called Bell's.

Sad news. From Shane MacGowen to Shane MacGone...

My Uncle David has moved to Moss Side. It's not as rough or deprived as people say apparently. He quickly found a job. He's rear gunner on the number six bus.

Defo something you're not quite putting your finger on....

I got caught selling drugs at work. The boss said, "I'll deal with you in my office." Sold him an ounce.

My first job was as a mannequin in a shop window. I held the position for quite some time.

I have a couple of CYMA shotties. They are great fun for CQB, but the only rif I ever get hacked off using in game. I have an aep that I have fitted with a Li-po. Again great fun CQB, but as said above, a MK23 clone is superior. My first CYMA 028 AK is still going strong despite many drops, lends and soakings. You have some really solid advice!

My wife is fed up of my wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "What can I do to stop?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied. "No it doesn't," I said.

Life's like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

If the reg just needs seals then it might be an easy enough job. I have sheets of rubber and a punch set, sets of o-rings for such things. If it's mechanically fucked it's a different story perhaps.

Way off mate... It was a six week Foreign Legion selection test. In Annam. In monsoon season. Used by a man nicknamed Clumsy Phillipe.

Listening to this atm. The dog is starring at me and has actually raised her eyebrows. Great riff whatever anyone says.

How do you get down from an elephant? You don't. You get down from a duck...

I draw the line at dot-to-dot books.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Atilla. Oh, hi hun.

My friend keeps saying, 'cheer up mate, could be worse. You could be stuck in a hole full of water.' It's annoying but I know he means well.

I wear Velcro shoes nowadays. Why knot?

My new snake is 3.13 feet long. It's a pi-thon...

You want a helmet that adjusts with a ratchet, rather than by increasing the padding. It's less sweaty, better for sensitive skin. Look out too for ski helmets passed off as airsoft lids. IIRC Speedbird took some scammer out a while back. There is a thread on the dodgy headgear if you search for it.

Told a joke today and everyone in the room literally pissed themselves, even though it wasn't very funny. I love working in an old peoples home sometimes.