Ex attempting to sell me back my RIF - Is this an offence under the VCRA?

[EvilMonkee]

See, this is why I never keep receipts.  Evidence.

[Cannonfodder]

On 03/01/2023 at 12:56, DrFumbles said:

In regards to the relationship without getting into too much Jeremy Kyle Material. She snooped and found a draft email I was writing up regarding her controlling and coercive behaviour towards me as a method my GP and Wellbeing recommended for me to cope with my situation. It was never intended to be sent or read by anyone else. So I guess I had a part to play in the demise of the relationship.

No you don't. Her snooping and controlling behavior is not your fault, it's 100% on her. 

 

As for what to do, don't pay her a penny as she's trying to manipulate you.

 

Unfortunately I don't want to give legal advice as I'm not a lawyer or solicitor so I don't want to post something that turns out to be bollocks. 

 

Good luck with it

[Shizbazki]

On 04/01/2023 at 09:06, EvilMonkee said:

She has appropriated it already via the act of selling it, she treats it as her own property, and also by selling it shows intent to deprive you of it.  Bad darts from the cops to be honest, they will just have wanted to get the incident closed down.  Best way to deal with it is to phone again, report a theft and also complain to the Inspector of the shift that attended about the lack of action from their officers.  This is just based on what you have told us.

 

Reading OPs post as it stands (on 07-01-23) he makes no reference that she will sell it, only stating that she wont return it.

 

He assumes she may sell it but at this time there is no definitive proof of a sale posted, organised or completed.

The reasons she wont return it are unknown at this stage, she may (believe to) have a reasonable excuse.

At this stage we only have the circumstances from one party (OP), not the other. 

 

 

However you are correct, that if on the circumstances given are true and she has made attempts to sell it etc. To make a report of Domestic Related Theft.

 

To OP (if your still around)
I would again advise that you contact your local force via telephone, police station (if there are any) or online report about the Theft
Advise that you are willing to provide an MG11 statement and attend court if necessary

GO ALL IN! DON'T BACK OUT or give a withdrawal statement

Ensure the police are kept up to date as to your correspondence address, telephone numbers and email/s

I know you only want the MWS back, but if you don't go all in you won't get anything back

Now even if you do this, you may still never see that gun again but at least you'll get some financial recompense if she is convicted

YES THIS WILL TAKE LONG! I would be surprised if its done and dusted in 6 months

 

I forgot to add that you need to be honest and frank about what she has taken, mention that it is a TM MWS (+plus other guns etc) and what that is, may perk the Office In Charge of the case to get his gears moving. You may have to explain to the officer stuff about UKARA and the VCRA 2005, try not to be snarky (remember you want to be the victim here), not every officer knows everything to do with guns, most are oblivious to airsoft and its legislation.

 

[Diemaco]

To be honest, it sounds like you're well shot of her. I hope you get your rifle (and anything else she may have taken) back. 

[Shizbazki]

Now having read the more open and bigger picture:

Its seems the Theft Act comes into place here.

She has offered you your gun back for £350

 

My question is what is that £350 for? Bills, rent money etc, i'm just speculating?

 

Part of S1 Theft Act 1968 is the phrase "intention of permanently depriving the other of it" also means placing a condition upon its return.

 

As far as i read, she has placed a condition for its return, namely £350, money which may not have or be unwilling to pay what you already own. And the likelihood is she knows this.

 

I would advise to definitely speak to police about this, insist that it is theft as personal property that you bought, owned and used solely by you and can be proved as such is being withheld by another party who is demanding payment for its return.

 

Dont let them fob you off with "its a civil dispute"

 

As previously mentioned, keep any correspondence in the text world only, and remain civil at all times.

 

Mention the coercive and controlling behaviour, point towards the email you had, her actions etc.

 

If you still dont get a decent answer, then kick up a fuss with your local forces complaints procedure and IOPC, but use that as a last resort.

 

Its going to be a long ride buddy, ain't going to lie

[Emergencychimps]

Did I read that you have a child with this person?

 

My suspicion is that this is purely about exerting control and influence over you. It's taking up your time and thought etc. If there is a kid I'd advise that you don't mention it to her again, write it off, stop it from being a thing that she can manipulate you with. I suspect you'd get it back in the future once she realises it not a thing of importance (it'll get in her way, remind her of you etc)Even if you don't taking something that she can manipulate you with away from her has value.

 

While it's not a cheap rif, you'll need to maintain as cordial relations with this person as best you can (assuming there is a kid). 

 

Is any of the above right or fair etc? Not at all, but during a messy break up, custody arguments and the associated solicitor fees you may find the price of the rif is small beer. 

 

 

[SBoardley]

Second^^
£350 is a small price to pay when children are involved. Amicable is the buzz word and generally it’s us guys that have to rise above it, unfortunately - but true. 

[DrFumbles]

Big thanks for all the advice guys, 

 

I actually attempt to talk to her in person at her door (didn't step over the threshold) regarding the more important subject of contact with my son etc. And if I could have him stay with me for a few days. This was shot down straight away with lies about Children Services saying I'm not allowed to see him at all until Parenting Assessments are done etc. (No cautions against me or anything like that) I even called both 101 and Children's Services to ask if me going over there to talk to her regarding contact would go against me and they both said no.

 

Anyway, she gets on the subject of giving me my gun if I pay her money for it, I ask where it is and she tells me she's given it to her older brother and it's currently at his house! So now I have no idea if this is correct or not. But she's given it away to someone else and it's currently in their possession.

[SBoardley]

Dude, forget the mws, concentrate on your kid. Hope it works out. 

[JimFromHorsham]

 

1 hour ago, SBoardley said:

Dude, forget the mws, concentrate on your kid. Hope it works out. 

 

as above I’d say get your priority’s straight and concentrate on the real life stuff rather than worrying about your toys for the moment .

[Colin Allen]

1 hour ago, DrFumbles said:

Big thanks for all the advice guys, 

 

I actually attempt to talk to her in person at her door (didn't step over the threshold) regarding the more important subject of contact with my son etc. And if I could have him stay with me for a few days. This was shot down straight away with lies about Children Services saying I'm not allowed to see him at all until Parenting Assessments are done etc. (No cautions against me or anything like that) I even called both 101 and Children's Services to ask if me going over there to talk to her regarding contact would go against me and they both said no.

 

Anyway, she gets on the subject of giving me my gun if I pay her money for it, I ask where it is and she tells me she's given it to her older brother and it's currently at his house! So now I have no idea if this is correct or not. But she's given it away to someone else and it's currently in their possession.

Forget about the toy gun for now and focus on how you can maintain a positive ongoing relationship with your son.  That has to be your priority; you can always buy another gun.

[DrFumbles]

Sorry guys, I should have made it clear. I've written the gun off as a loss to be honest. I was just giving an update on the situation and keeping it on topic at the same time.

 

Unfortunately for her, now that I've got no other distractions I'm completely focused on getting my son back into my care and safety.

[Tommikka]

32 minutes ago, DrFumbles said:

Sorry guys, I should have made it clear. I've written the gun off as a loss to be honest. I was just giving an update on the situation and keeping it on topic at the same time.

 

Unfortunately for her, now that I've got no other distractions I'm completely focused on getting my son back into my care and safety.

She will be seething inside with her loosing a piece of control

 

Keep up the good work & play the system

[Emergencychimps]

Get legal advice about your custody situation. 

 

Every situation is complex. She doesn't need to know you have a solicitor but the advice they can give is invaluable. I'd also start keeping a journal of all interactions, write down any specific wording or phrases used etc. Dates, times, when conversations are had etc. 

 

I'd encourage you don't post about this subject again publicly. Things can be twisted, mis understood etc. 

 

Good luck, I fear you're going to need it. 

[AirSniper]

https://www.lawteacher.net/lectures/criminal-law/property-offences/

[Rogerborg]

12 hours ago, Emergencychimps said:

I'd encourage you don't post about this subject again publicly

 

100% this, or at least not here, in a forum that she could easily find.  Please don't take this wrong, and I understand that you want to get this off of your chest, but this thread contains way too much information.