Skullchewer Posted March 4, 2022 Share Posted March 4, 2022 My penis was in the Guinness book of records. But then the librarian asked me to take it out Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 4, 2022 Author Share Posted March 4, 2022 Got home from work today and wife was still on e-bay! If she is still on there tomorrow I'm gonna have to drop the price lol. Love her lots really. She is the butt of most of my jokes( and other activities but that's personal) 😄😄 Regards Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 5, 2022 Author Share Posted March 5, 2022 Just heard that our Residents Association are having a meeting about some weirdo who lives on our road 🤔 My invitation got lost probably that'll be what's happened. 🤔 regards Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 We went to one of those weird fetish restaurants tonight. The waiter was insistent that the special was fantastic, but I didn't order it. I really didn't fancy getting Toed in the Hole. Skullchewer, Cannonfodder, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 The girl I've got a crush on works as a stock-checker for a European supermarket chain. She ticks Aldi boxes. Shamal, Zarrin, Tactical Pith Helmet and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2MT Paul Posted March 6, 2022 Share Posted March 6, 2022 When I was younger I has a real thing for Posh Spice..... Cost my mum a fortune in saffron............ Skullchewer, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 7, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 7, 2022 I get mixed up with words that sound alike sometimes. Last night I confused jacuzzi with yakuza. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia. AirsoftTed, Zarrin, Skullchewer and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirsoftTed Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger 🐸 Tactical Pith Helmet, Shamal, JamesAirsofterAgent and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Cannonfodder Posted March 7, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 7, 2022 A mate told me he failed his Aboriginal music exam Didja redo it? I asked Zarrin, Tactical Pith Helmet, Skullchewer and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Skullchewer Posted March 7, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 7, 2022 Once upon a time there was a king who was only 12 inches tall. He didn’t make a good king but he was a great ruler EDcase, Shamal, Druid799 and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 7, 2022 Author Share Posted March 7, 2022 Doh!! Lol The local secondary school has announced that it is changing its academy status. Going forward it will be part of the IKEA academy. Standards of teaching will definitely improve, but assembly will now take much longer. Regards Tactical Pith Helmet, Skullchewer and SBoardley 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 7, 2022 Author Share Posted March 7, 2022 (edited) Hey @SkullchewerI can combine two of your gags...... I actually have a twelve inch penis......but I don't use it as a rule. Regards Edited March 7, 2022 by Shamal Spelin SBoardley and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 7, 2022 Share Posted March 7, 2022 (edited) I went to the library today and asked for a suicide manual. 'You're not booking it out on your ticket,' snapped the librarian. 'Whyever not?' I asked. 'Because you won't bring the bloody thing back...' Edited March 9, 2022 by Tactical Pith Helmet Shamal, Skullchewer and Cannonfodder 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 8, 2022 Author Share Posted March 8, 2022 There was a documentary about kids with weird names that I watched with keen interest. And Keen Interest said to me, "Dad……." Regards Zarrin and Skullchewer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 9, 2022 Author Share Posted March 9, 2022 It' been a very strange day. First I found a hat full of money, then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar! 🎸 Mad or what 😀 Tactical Pith Helmet, Skullchewer and Zarrin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2MT Paul Posted March 9, 2022 Share Posted March 9, 2022 Just been banned from the local swimming pool........... How was I to know the S had fallen off of my Speedo's Skullchewer, Zarrin, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 9, 2022 Author Share Posted March 9, 2022 Haha. Well I got banned for pissing in the swinning baths. "Everybody does it" I complained to the attendant. "Not from the top diving board they don't!" he replied. Regards 2MT Paul, Cannonfodder, Skullchewer and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 9, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 9, 2022 Uncle Bob was a terrible ventriloquist. He used to stick his hand up my cousins arse and tell him not to say anything. Skullchewer, Zarrin, 2MT Paul and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 In his final high school exam, my Granddad got 7 C's So he became a pirate. Druid799, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 10, 2022 Author Share Posted March 10, 2022 (edited) Haha. Well my grandad was in the war and had a good collection of German memorabilia. When I was seven I asked if I could see his German helmet. "Yeah it's in the loft behind the tank" My eyes widened "you got a fucking tank!??" 😉 Edited March 10, 2022 by Shamal Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted March 10, 2022 Share Posted March 10, 2022 Well my grandad downed 6 Me109s in a day during the Battle of Britain It was this point he was kicked out of the maintenance department of the Luftwaffe Skullchewer, Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 10, 2022 Author Share Posted March 10, 2022 11 hours ago, Skullchewer said: In his final high school exam, my Granddad got 7 C's So he became a pirate. In my final gcse exams I got all 'A's....Away,Atrocious,Abysmal and Absolute crap! 🤭 Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Tactical Pith Helmet Posted March 10, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted March 10, 2022 The Nazis decide to amuse themselves one day in an occupied Soviet village. They line up all the men naked and blindfold a housewife. 'If you can identify your husband in the lineup only by fondling his cock, you will all go free. If you can't, you will all be shot.' The woman starts at the end of the line. She takes the first villagers knob in her hands. 'Not him,' she says. She fondles a second man, 'Not this one either.' She fondles a third, 'This one's not even from our village.' Druid799, Shamal, Samurai and 5 others 1 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted March 11, 2022 Share Posted March 11, 2022 Not a joke, but a genuine newspaper story https://news.atlantanewsmedia.com/indiana-egg-farmer-transported-to-hospital-with-a-live-adult-chicken-stuck-in-his-rectal-cavity/ Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted March 11, 2022 Author Share Posted March 11, 2022 How the heck did you find that? Funny really cause yesterday It was mentioned about Mr Tackles penchant for feathers 🤣🤣🤣 Regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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