A JOKE but if this truly offends then mods please remove
A Jewish/Scottish/extremely careful with his money (delete as required)
man goes into the synagogue/church/place of worship (again delete what offends)
and prays. "O Lord, you know the mess I'm in, please let me win the lottery."
The next week, he's back again, and this time he's complaining...
O Lord, didn't you hear my prayer last week? I'll lose everything I hold dear unless I win the lottery."
The third week, he comes back to the synagogue/church/place of worship (again delete what offends),
and this time he's really desperate.
"O Lord, this is the third time I've prayed to you to let me win the lottery! I ask and I plead and still you don't help me!"
Suddenly a booming voice sounds from heaven...
"Benny, Benny, be reasonable. Meet me half way. Buy a lottery ticket!"
sorry if this offends but I think it is a little amusing
I've given options and if somebody is still offended
ah bollocks, lighten up