Shamal

Dress code. I was called into my manager’s office over the weekend because of my dress code. He told me that I wasn’t allowed to wear pyjamas for work. So I replied “everyone else does” To which he replied “that’s because they are patients".

Allotment mystery. Over the last three weeks, I’ve discovered someone has been dumping soil on my allotment. I have tried to catch who’s doing it, but have had no joy. The plot thickens.

Nice! But I see you have picked up some attitude from first pic 😂🤣

Hi Paul 👋 Well I say 'top marks' for having the drive and the right mental attitude to want to get involved.👍 Over the years I have seen quite a few disabled people who have the drive and determination to get involved and get so much satisfaction from playing. It seems like you are planning ahead and I hope you get to that facility you mentioned to hone your skills. Also having a knowledge of teching is a great skill to have and one which may help others near you. I'm sure you will get out on site and do some games soon because I don't think you will let your disabilities stop you. 😊 Have you got any buddies that are into Airsoft? Regards

Kick a man when he's down why don't ya 🤣

Ouch!! 😉

Dan Dare ray gun. 5 years old. Sparks everywhere and frozen finger after blasting thousands of Mekons. Kept me from being abducted at bedtime. I hope the older members on here know what I'm talking about otherwise Im looking like a grade one,card carrying nutter.😜

State of mind. Did you know keeping fish in an aquarium is good for your mental health and has a calming affect on the brain? It’s because of the indoor fins

I split with my ex girlfriend 4 years ago because she wouldn't stop counting. I sometimes wonder what she's up to.🤔

Viper dual pac jetster boots and arse detection holo sight. 😉

A very philosophical friend asked me "What is Earth without art?" I just looked at him and said "Eh?

Teacher asked the children what their Dad's did for a living.All the typical answers came up... Builder, fireman, policeman, salesman,etc.Joshua, a kid with a blond mop of hair, was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the Teacher asked him about his Dad. 'My Dad's an exotic dancer in a gay bar and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he'll go out to the back lane and have sex with them for money.The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some colouring, and took little Joshua aside to ask him, 'Is that really true about your Dad?''No,' said Joshua, 'He's just resigned as the PM but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.

Yep share ya pain on that dude. I think i posted before about the six foot seven mobile portaloo who gave me a 'friendly' pat on the back while screaming "Move move move!" I moved all right,straight on my face! He wasn't so mouthy when I got up and launched a particularly venomous verbal tirade upon him. But I noticed he was always bringing up the rear. Wanker! Lol Regards

🤦 Lol

Me to bud ☹️

My wife and I shared a cream tea yesterday.....I weighed myself this morning & I've put on half a scone.

Snap! Pretty much the same as my tm 👍

Mk23 with silencer. 👍

When little billy got home from school one day he found the family rooster dead in the front yard.Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" "What do you mean?" said Dad. "Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure.

Thought for the day...... ....if you are being chased by an angry gang of taxidermists don't play dead! 👍

I'm not saying it's aliens....but it's aliens. 😂😂

Hope sites don't ban all recording though. I some times use a go pro on my lid just to capture a few moments to look back on later. None of it ever gets posted anywhere because it's crap and I wouldn't know how to anyway. It's purely for my own enjoyment. I need something to watch when I'm old 😜

Yeah that's true.we pay one way or another. You can't buck the system

I thought I saw a small,dead baby ghost in the road today. Turns out it was a handkerchief....