Tactical Pith Helmet

This salad shortage could be the tip of the iceberg!

Did you know that everyone who conflates causation with correlation dies in the end?

Social media and tabloids can seriously damage your mental health. Hope your pal is OK.

Just read an incredible 13th Century account of a feudal uprising where a duke’s son was killed by rebels who used a trebuchet to knock him off the battlements with the only available ordnance: a peasant’s decapitated head. Apparently it was the first serf-face-to-heir missile.

I spent the weekend learning to meditate. It beats sitting there doing nothing.

Watched that Iranian remake of Rocky tonight. Good film, but the theme songs stuck in my head. I can't stop humming Ayatollah of the Tiger.

That's PNG not Guinea. Anyhow, given the amount of cable-ties holding it together, your description of the gnu may be about right! Remember the Zapatista's fearsome armoury when they originally launched themselves from the mist?

I'm in the hospital after being diagnosed with bad camouflage disease. They've just moved me to ICU.

I meant to do Tudders this weekend, day and night. I love night games there. I had a memorable one were I lost both contact lenses and didn't notice until the marshals saved me from wandering around in the plantation chasing a marshal wearing a nightstick that I mistook for a torch... Poor chap was most unimpressed that some idiot was potting him despite the hi-viz. What I did was wake up at 13:30 with a pounding hangover, a sense that the preceding evening had gone awry, and that a bit of rest was required. Shame as several people have commented on how good it was.

Vega Force is usually written/described as VFC. If you Google VFC airsoft rifles you will find something similar. 70% of the new price as a starting point is rule of thumb. Here are a few: https://www.davescustomairsoft.co.uk/vfc-en-gb/ I've had to deal with going through a loved ones things after we've lost them too. Wish you all the best there is.

Glad to hear you're cutting back on the booze a touch! Does anyone know the amount of calories burnt whilst swimming in debt?

Went to a pole dancing club tonight. Bit rubbish really. Every dance was a polka.

I use AK slings on virtually everything. For extra security you can use a large Chicago stud. Used to be less than a tenner. Still cheap.

I always wanted to be a Gregorian monk, but I never got the chants.

It's embarrassing when you have visitors and your dog wants to bury its nose in their groin. I mean my dogs a chihuahua, so I have to lift him up so he can reach.

Look at the Filmsim website. Lots to choose from.

You've never been married have you.

My wife said she thought it would be very romantic if when she dies she could be buried in her wedding dress. I said, 'You'd better hope you die of some kind of wasting disease.'

My new girlfriend saw me stacking washing powder on the shelves at the supermarket. "You told me you were a stunt pilot "she said. "I told you I was a member of the Aerial display team" I replied.

It's 'tactical unbifurcated wear,' or a 'hakama' according to whatever marketing speak one subscribes to.

My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes made me a laughing stock.

I was walking past a building site this morning and some idiot of a builder dropped a bucket of cement on me. I was mortarfied.

I've still got the body of a 25 year old. I should take it back before I get sacked from the morgue to be honest.

Accidently passed my wife Evostik instead of lipstick last night. She's still not talking to me.

Condensation kills most kit. Cold reduces the performance of batteries. Cold but dry is key when I'm away at winter games for a weekend. Keep your lipos warm indoors and don't put anything away without a thorough dry. Your better of with them on display than risking unseen dampness in a sealed hard case. Cold rifs just need a few shots to soften the hop rubber as long as you've kept the batteries warm.