Tactical Pith Helmet

Bought one of those Welsh motorbikes today. It's a Rhondda 500.

My friends and I are having a competition between us, to see who can steal the most from our local pet shop. This week I managed to take the lead.

To err is human. To blame others shows management potential.

Depends on the type of game. I use a 1000mah over a whole weekend milsim/filmsim. CQB sees a 1500mah minimum in the rif and a spare in the pouch. I have a 2400mah for my support gun. I've never had to change a battery mid game.

My wife told me that the cat needed to be chipped. I only had a nine iron, but I still got it over the shed.

What with this and the scammer thread, it's turning into Agatha bloody Christie on here!

'Stop trying to scam people and get a job Moriarty, you lazy cunt.' The Hound of the Baskervilles - Conan Doyle Seriously mate, top job!

I've been meditating in the garden. I'm no fortune teller but my fuchsia looks bright.

My mate draws sketches of escaped prisoners for the police. He's a con artist.

Sunday Skirmish at Gunman Tuddenham. We had not skirmished for a couple of years, and with the lad’s birthday being soon, and my promise to treat one of his mates to a game being keenly remembered, we went to today’s game. The weather was glorious, we arrived on time, and I remembered everything but my water bottle. Luckily, I always have a two litre bottle in the van… which some swine had not put back. First purchase then was six bottles of water, and three tickets at £30 a pop. I also added a bag of Geoff’s .25gs. These were £13 compared to my last couple of bags of Taiwan Gun Kilo 9s at less than a fiver! Safety briefing was long detailed and pretty funny. The youngsters laughed and seemed to stay attentive. No questions were asked at the end apart from a bit of clarification, so top marks. Game brief was concise and clear too. First question from chief marshal was to remind anyone with a medical issue to have a word pre-game. First game took place in the woodland area of the site and consisted of one team attacking two positions, both of which had a timed bomb. If armed and defended for (I think) ten minutes, the attackers won the position, if the defenders kept them from detonating, then the defenders won the position. This was a great game with the team moving up aggressively and communicating well. Radios were used to good effect and the positions were soon in the hands of armband team. We held these for the required time and were victorious in no time. Someone forgot which barrel held the bomb however and was standing too close when it went off, which hurt their tinnitus. They heard the warning shouts but assumed that they were for someone else. Totally the player’s own stupid error (I’ll try and remember next time… The game was turned around and this time, the bombs were defended with the same level of positive play that they had been attacked with, leaving both intact at close of play. What I really enjoyed was the level of sportsmanship. I heard a lot of ‘well done,’ and ‘good shot’ calls, and was on the receiving end of some great shooting. Twice I was hit by people with the first couple of BBs, no walking in or huge bursts of fire required. I shot well, getting the drop on several people despite little sleep. I thought that both games had been well played and was just warming up for some serious play when lunch was called. I seriously thought that we must have had two half hour games rather than the full sixty minutes each time. It was that fluid and fast moving. Lunch proved that you can lead a teenager to bottled water, but you can’t make it drink. ‘I’m fine with a can of Monster’ seemed a keen topic of conversation, including between me and the lad’s pal. I took a shoulder bag into the field with me full of water for the inevitable as the sun had really got out by now. The afternoon games were in the village, a group of old Second World War buildings used as accommodation by bomber crews. These are very difficult to fight around at this time of year as the foliage around them is thick and engagement ranges are extremely short in places. You need to be quick and have 360 degree vision. First we had to fight over two timers, one in the shower block, and one in a container in the open half of the site. Snipers were restricted to the open section; limited respawns for the defenders favoured the attackers. This was a seriously contested game with each side allowed use of one shield each, and the same level of gameplay achieved as in the morning. It was really enjoyable to skirmish without a hint of the silly shouty bollox that infects games occasionally. Unfortunately our team’s cooperation fell apart, and our attacks were ill supported at times, chaotic at most. We were badly beaten, gaining no time at all on the clocks. A certain amount of visible frustration did creep in for a couple of younger players, probably due to dehydration and post lunch torpor as much as anything else. At change around a couple of players were ordered to drink at risk of banishment to the carpark or somewhere, being identified by concerned friends. Looking after oneself in the heat had featured in the safety brief, and it was good to see silly sods get outed and watered well before the frustration reached a verbal level. As it was the gameplay remained excellent. I had traded with a player twice and both times we called having thought that we’d missed each other. I felt really switched on and it seemed to be a common feeling for some reason. Last game was a simple building clearance. These are classic Tudders games. Get four or five into a building and shout clear. If cleared by a marshal go to the next building, if an opposition player has hidden themselves when you call clear, then you’re all KIA. The non-banded team got off to a flying start, taking the first rows of buildings with ease, then slowing up as they got closer to the defenders positions. I got into a great position in one building, hiding in a bush and shooting in through a window at the doorway. I got a couple of attackers and was about to get a whole group as I was shot in the back by my own team, as I shouted out for them to watch their fire as we were in front of them. In airsoft, don’t bunch up, don’t hang back, keep alert, communicate, and push the flanks are about all you probably need. When you lose those, you’ve lost the game. We lost the game quite badly, but I honestly could not care less. At close of play, the marshals were amazed at the level of play, everyone sported a big grin, I had not heard one moan all day and we called it a wrap. It was only when we pulled out of the carpark that I saw the time, I thought that we could have squeezed another quick game. Then again, we had truly quit whilst ahead. To be honest, we usually avoid skirmishes as the themed games are so much better, but we had a whale of a time today. The game, gameplay and marshalling were spot on, the weather was perfect and the atmosphere was really good natured. I wished that Mrs TPH had attended. I leave her at home for the odd skirmish we go to, as any arguing, or sexist ‘banter’ or morale patches might lead to her sticking one on the offending player, but she would have loved it. As it was, no girls were in attendance. I hope that the high standard of play continues. We had a cracking day out. The G&G CM16 never missed a beat all day, although I accidently took the fucked ‘fet instead of the functioning one. Lad’s mate used my loaner CYMA AK47 which performed fuss free; the lad’s half-brother used his CYMA M4 which still performs 100% despite it being his only, and hence only used rif. The boy himself used a G&G electric recoil M4 which despite expectations has kept together as his main rif for four or five years. His CYMA AKM which was fitted with a scope for a laugh, but which did sterling work around the buildings in the afternoon, shot like a laser. We did have a few misfires due to weak mag springs; as our first purchased G&G midcaps have tired springs these days. I expect that most of us fell in love with this tomfoolery at skirmish games. It was fun to be reminded why today. My only moan is that we could have had an extra half hour or so.

A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club. He hasn't written any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff.

Not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed! 😆

I see that Germany is sending tanks to Ukraine. Apparently they'll be going via Poland for old times sake.

People applauded when they witnessed a dwarf abseiling down a prison wall. I saw it as a little condescending.

Given the way things are going, with second hand G&G M4s at £130+, we could all be asking ourselves a similar question soon... Personally I treat all rifs to a bit of deference given their relative delicacy. This attitude lasts until I get carried away enjoying the game and inevitably my most used guns are missing various bits and sport a fair few examples of gaffer tape and cable ties. If the damage annoyed me, I would not use them, however much they cost.

There's a monkey who works in our local chip shop. Apparently he's a frymate.

Told a joke on Zoom and noone laughed. It wasn't remotely funny.

I used to see a girl called Barb Dwyer. We never really got that close.

Damn hard to concentrate on writing a text message when these cyclists keep bouncing off the windscreen...

G&G Combat Machine M4 is ultra reliable. New inner barrel, hop unit and rubber. Add a mosfet and you've got about as reliable as you can get. CYMA M14 with similar mods is another option. You will get bugger all back if you choose to sell either through.

Broken quiz machine for sale. No questions asked...

Sounds like a fun day. The pyromania at the end was a surprise finish to say the least! Have you become the Pete Townsend of the airsoft world? Will this be a regular post-game ritual? We await next weeks instalment.

You need a cleaning kit for the straw/hose bit. I can recommend the army surplus bag, but I would go for a cheap bladder/inner rather than try and clean it. I picked one up for about a fiver.

Played a group of lads from the local quarry at football today. We beat them on aggregate.

'There's @GAMBLEwith a melee weapon in his hand. ' I believe he was born with one there tbh...