Skullchewer Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 Just met Leo Sayer in the local pub. He said "You look like Sam from Cheers " He made me feel like Danson! Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet, Tackle and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 @Tackleyou laughed at my Leo Sayer joke. You are officially old. Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet and Tackle 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavinkempsell Posted April 23 Share Posted April 23 2 minutes ago, Skullchewer said: you laughed at my Leo Sayer joke. You are officially old. can't believe I never got it the first time. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted April 23 Moderators Share Posted April 23 5 minutes ago, Skullchewer said: @Tackleyou laughed at my Leo Sayer joke. You are officially old. Lol, I considered commenting on it that it would be wasted on many here👶🍼 Skullchewer and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 24 Share Posted April 24 It's Saint George's Day today. Patron saint of cheap clothes in Asda. Skullchewer, Cannonfodder and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 24 Author Share Posted April 24 Because of the hot weather over the next few days, my boss has said we can bring shorts to work. Jack Daniels it is then! Tackle, Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 25 Share Posted April 25 I hate being tailgated, especially when you're already doing 70 in a 30. And this blokes aftermarket blue lights are bloody annoying too... Shamal and Skullchewer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 26 Author Share Posted April 26 Policeman said "you were doing 75 mph sir" "That's a lie officer", I replied."I've only been out for twenty minutes" Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 27 Share Posted April 27 Yesterday I accidentally stepped on a copy of the Daily Mail and then had to spend ages hunting round to find some dog shit to wipe it off with. EDcase, John_W and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 27 Author Share Posted April 27 IM GOING TO WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS. THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN CARDIFF. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 28 Share Posted April 28 There are two types of people in the world, the bad and the good. The good sleep better, but the bad enjoy being awake more... Shamal and DanBow 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 29 Author Share Posted April 29 I wouldn’t recommend that new steak house in town, the beef was so undercooked, it started eating the salad. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavinkempsell Posted April 29 Share Posted April 29 40 minutes ago, Shamal said: I wouldn’t recommend that new steak house in town, the beef was so undercooked, it started eating the salad. Awe, MANN! let it go Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 A 50 year old man found dead in a local park has been named by police. Bloody shame it took 50 years for someone to name him! Cannonfodder and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted April 30 Share Posted April 30 10 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: A 50 year old man found dead in a local park has been named by police. Bloody shame it took 50 years for someone to name him! By police is a very strange name Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 When my 96 year old granddad was put into a home, it was good to see he still had his flirting game on at least. He approached this old lady and said, 'I'd love to get into your pants.' 'Really?' she beamed back at him. 'Yes,' he said, 'because I just shat in mine.' Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted May 1 Share Posted May 1 How do welshmen find sheep in long grass? Irresistible concretesnail, Tactical Pith Helmet, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 1 Author Share Posted May 1 . A man goes to his doctor complaining of constipation. The doctor says ” take this suppositorie and call me tomorrow. “ The man calls the doctor the next day, complaining that it didn't help. The man says “ I took it with a glass of water, and nothing happened.” The doctor says “ That's not how you were supposed to take it.” Obviously upset, the man says “ What did you expect me to do? Shove it up my ass! Tactical Pith Helmet and Cannonfodder 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 (edited) 'Hell is other pirates.' Long Jean Sartre Edited May 3 by Tactical Pith Helmet Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 53 minutes ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: 'Hell is other pirates.' Long Jean Satre Very highbrow.lol but it's Sartre 😉 Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 6 hours ago, Shamal said: Very highbrow.lol but it's Sartre 😉 Thanks! Typo edited. Temptation to go on about great The Roads to Freedom trilogy is resisted. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Shamal Posted May 5 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 5 (edited) 4 engineers get into a car . The car wont start. mechanical engineer says : its a broken starter Electrical engineer says : dead battery chemical engineer says : impurities in the gasoline IT engineer says : hey guys i have an idea, how about we all get out of the car, and then get in again. Edited May 5 by Shamal Spelin DanBow, Muzzer, Tactical Pith Helmet and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 6 Share Posted May 6 “Schools serve the same social functions as prisons and mental institutions- to define, classify, control, and regulate people.” Michel Foucault "I don't care, you're going anyway." Foucault's Mum Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 6 Author Share Posted May 6 God saw that Adam was lonely and He said to him, “Do not be downcast. My work is not yet finished. I shall make for you a companion, and she shall have the gentle voice of an angel, the beauty of a summer sunrise, a kind heart that is sensitive to your every need before you even know you have it, and a glorious body that will be a delight to hold; and I shall call this Woman.” “That sounds wonderful!” breathes Adam. “Yes,” says God, “but it’s going to cost you an arm, a leg, an eye, an ear, and your right testicle.” Adam digests this in silence and says, “Hypothetically, Lord… what could I get for just a rib?” Muzzer, DanBow and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 7 Share Posted May 7 I struggled with the laundry basket until I finally dropped it. Newly laundered clothes went everywhere. My wife did nothing to help. She just watched it all unfold. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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