Shamal

Good evening and welcome to the golden shot. Look what you could have won......I gotta stop watching reruns of crappy game shows! Welcome to the mad house fella.? Take it easy and don't get too many kills in your first game cause you won't be invited back!? Enjoy and call ya hits ? Regards

Just a spoilt rich brat an I'm not even looking at your silly collection ? Pretty good though.?

I went to a charity bash organised by the R.N.L.I. today. It was amazing. They certainly know how to push the boat out

Can you wear a pair of m4's to work to earn money? No. Can you wear a pair of 1911's to the shops to get food for the table? No. Will a pair of sniper rifles allow you to get to the washing machine to wash your filthy clothes? No. Be prepared to have a reply for when these questions get fired at you cause they will ??

I don't know if it's true but I heard that you had all your pockets surgically removed.??

How about the tappet plate sprung. Not many choices left really ?

Bet it's off the arl.

I used to be a complete knob...until the accident....sorry, I don't want to talk about it.??

That's a nice nit of kit but a hefty price tag. I think that even if it is cloned it's still gonna be very pricey. I need to invest in an ice suit and refrigerated helmet that'll mess with it.?

One evening, Jesus walks into a flash restaurant with his 12 disciples following him in. The Maitre D greets him and says: “Good evening sir, how can we help you today?” Jesus responds: “Yes, we’d like a table for 26 please” The Maitre D looks confused for a second, before gathering his composure: “But sir, there are only 13 of you?” Jesus responds: “Ahh, yes…. but we’re all going to sit on one side of the table”.

I’ve just realised, I have one pair of running shoes but unfortunately I also own sixteen pairs of eating ones.

That address is on street view. It has a box trailer on drive with busfest written on it and some other writing.

What possible reason would anyone need to put tape on a frog??

All round yours for dinner then ?

A wife sends her husband an SMS on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband sent an answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Sometime later husband receives an answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now"

We didn't have much as kids but I remember one birthday was spent down the launderette. The highlight of the day was playing pass the Persil.

I asked this elderly man why he was using two massive frozen chips as walking sticks. He replied: “They’re McCains!”

Hi bud. Heads up. She doesn't need ukara for make up, boots or straighteners. ? Regards

Hi fella and welcome to the Airsoft asylum.?? I'm sure there will be some active members in your new location that may be able to help.? Regards

A young man volunteers for airborne training. After one week, he phones his father. “Dad, we had our first parachute jump today, but only about half the company jumped. The others were scared.” Dad: “Well, did you jump?” Son: “No, I was scared.” A week later he calls dad again “We had our second jump today. The sergeant said that anyone who didn’t jump this time would not get a pass for this weekend. All but about ten of us jumped.” Dad: “Well, did you jump?” Son: “No, I just couldn’t”. A week later he calls dad again “We had our third jump today. The sergeant said that anyone who didn’t jump was going to spend the weekend scrubbing the latrines with a toothbrush. Only three people didn’t jump.” Dad: “Well, did you jump?” Son: “Nope. I’m still too scared.” Another week goes by and he calls dad “Today was our fourth jump. The sergeant said he was gonna bend anyone who didn’t jump over the seat and screw him up the rear.” Dad: “OK, so you jumped?” Son: “Yeah I jumped … a little … at first.”

Amazing what these marketing people come up with. Apparently there is a new range of perfumes that are supposed to make you laugh more readily. They're calling it "Scents of Humour".

Bloody hell mate that's some collection. You are either a criminal,politician or electrician. ? Nice display though ?

Hi. Have you purchased the gun from a shop? Is it new? If it is then take it back to the shop. I'm wondering if the battery connector on the gun is the wrong way round. What type of connector is on the battery and gun?

That is fugly! No amount of rattle cans will make it right? (The views of one person is not representative of the views of others) It's still fugly.......? Regards ?