Tactical Pith Helmet

Uncle Bob is completely bald, but still carries a comb with him. He just can't part with it...

Cheese on Marmite spread toast, dipped in Tabasco'ed Heinz tomato soup. Bloody beautiful. The explosive diarrhoea half an hour later is less so. Tasty purgative tbh. Try it if you take strong opiates and suffer the attendant problems I imagine. I avoid the stuff.

That's the last time I go on a blind date. Her bloody dog wouldn't let me go near her.

I know its Pantera, you know it's Pantera but to many its just a naff woodland/DPM design. I have a few Polish bits, they're not worth a whole lot.

Budapest is a hangover made of stone tbh. I remember Swallow brand fags from before the wall fell. I think that they were called fitch or similar in Hungarian? After a night on the vodka and tokai your lungs felt like leather and your guts felt perforated. Pre-91 the easiest way to get warpac kit was to offer cash to bored squaddies at border posts etc.

I've re-crimped used carts that I've filled with rice. I left the used primers though. The weight and fired primer made misidentification harder. Training brass rounds need to have holes in them. As an aside, a friend bought a load of flood damaged carts at auction. The auction house staff had cleaned them up with WD40 or similar. Only about one in twenty actually went off.

I think that the sharp tap of the BB is enough to knock my face back just enough and just sharply enough to dislodge the lens. If you have eyes which are not average shape cheap contacts don't always fit the contours of them 100%. If you play with the big toys like 600NE, the recoil can detach your retinas. Being liquid-ish (if you see what I mean) eyes have a fair bit of inertia.

Mesh or polycarbonate I find that a shot to the goggles makes a contact lens fall out. Bloody irritating!

A woman goes to her doctor's office to discuss a strange development. She has discovered a green spot on the inside of each thigh. They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and they seem to be getting worse. The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem and tells her not to worry until he gets the tests back. A few days later the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots. The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy there's no problem, but I'm wondering, was your boyfriend that biker guy in the waiting room?" The woman stammers, "Why yes, but how did you know?" "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

Does this chemists sell viagra? Yes mate. Can you get it over the counter? I probably could if I took two.

I went to buy a Christmas tree. The guy goes, ‘So you can put it up yourself?’ I said, ‘No, I was thinking the living room.'

I wouldn't bother about recoil tbh. I have used them, but stopped noticing the effect as soon as gameplay began. If I was spending £600 tomorrow and wanted reliability, performance and durability, I'd get a non-recoil, non-ETU G&G M4. A decent barrel, rotary hop and rubber/nub swap is a ten minute job. Plug and play Burst Wizard 4 mosfet and away you go. A high torque motor is another five minute job, and difficult to fuck up, if you really want to go to town. Rifs have come on so much that over £150 price and quality have less and less of a relationship. I was amazed at how well my CYMA M14 shot out of the box. It was less than £100 from TG a few years ago. All that said TMs are bloody lovely. You have a lot of choice atm IF you can find something that you really like in stock.

I wouldn't worry. The most you can get is about ten years.

Just order the custom size option from Red Dot and specify the size of your objectives O/D. They will make the cover to the correct size if they don't have any in stock.

I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time that she’s just going to scream and run out of the park.

Take a pic or two chap. Scrape a bit of this white crud with a thumb nail and describe the consistency. Could be a lot of things, lithium grease, BB residue, God's message of impending Armageddon etc.

I’m going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because she keeps correcting my grammar during sex. She’s particularly annoyed at my improper use of the colon.

Cheers, I did check that the ratchet ones I got were for uninsulated terminals. Glad I asked and didn't just buy a set!

If my son punched like that or 'defended' himself by cowering like that I'd call him my daughter. I wouldn't actually thinking about it as my daughter knows how to use her fists. She'd flatten both of them. I don't know what I'd call him but it would be uncomplimentary, and by now I've lost interest in the airsoft part of it all. Seriously, don't take the piss if you can't take a punch/multiple whacks from the HPA using androgynous being. Also disappointed by the lack of relevant soundtrack. I'd have liked the Rocky theme for the build up with the Benny Hill theme for the 'punches.' Soundtrack: 0/10 Artistic Interpretation: 3/10 Degree of Technical Difficulty: 4/10 Direction: 3/10 Award: Everyone involved needs burning at the stake. Twice.

For building work I do stick to DeWalt for electrical stuff, and Irwin Jacks have stiffish blades, but given how much stuff gets lost/thrown in the van uncleaned/buried/leant out to 'mates' etc, I use any old crap. There a probably a few Blackspur trowels in the back now ready to be used and immediately thrown away. There's definitely a shit encrusted set of Faithful sockets and a hammer from Poundland that I bought when I broke down in the town centre one day. I did have a shovel marked War Dept. for years but it went back to nature. The well oiled and polished spanners etc nestle in my garage with the bikes with which I tinker. Cheers @Lozart and @Iceni I've gone for the ratchet option. I can't take a pic @Davegolfbut the uninsulated terminals that I need to fit do require the dimple to turn the prongs in. Thoroughly agree that brands are just commodities these days. The last King Dick set of spanners that I bought were seemingly cheap Chinese crap that I returned, and I doubt that anyone remembers the days when Britool were the absolute bollocks. Thanks all!

So…. Impulse has written up the gameplan and thoroughly decent sportsmanship of the last Namsoft game. There’s not much that I can add in that respect. I was in another squad, but played VC too rather than PAVN for once because… we had two VC loadouts, and my nearest and very much dearest decided to play along for the weekend. It would have been wrong to abandon her to the ranks of the filthy imperialists, no matter how much US kit we have. So a few personal notes. The weekend was extremely relaxed. The social was chilled, and the beer flowed freely après sport as it were.* Apart from an isolated incident already related above, gamesmanship was excellent. The chilled atmosphere definitely leeched into the game itself. My wife was ultra-impressed at the helpful attitude of the other players when we became split up by the need to respawn etc. She described help personified. For a first airsoft game a two day filmsim could have broken any love at all, but she was fully smitten and buzzing by close of Saturday. As far as I went, guiding my wife up to the very perimeter of the enemy firebase was amazing. We got right up on the wire and then I let loose the RPK. We slotted many yanks. An experienced support gunner giving it large at close range is an ouch to behold tbh. After the game a couple of GIs came over, still laughing, and shook our hands. Getting within three feet of the objective unobserved was a real achievement. It made our hard 20+ minute crawl more than worthwhile. TBH a more experienced sideman and I could have made hay, but there we go. We should have hit and run, but we tried to take the full garrison on. It ended predictably. Sunday was a full on head to head as Impulse lead the one squad of yanks a merry dance, we had to take the other squads on as full on as the VC ever do. This meant firing with real intensity and then backing off into the bushes. It was during this period that Impulse pulled out his sidearm and I actually recognised the chap, fron a few forum pics. Jesus wept, that bloke can play sniper! It was nice to put a face to a forum name. I’ll certainly try and play on his team in future… Anyhow… I had a great weekend. My wife is suddenly after all these years suddenly hooked on Namsoft, and our son had a great time as GI, as he regularly does. I'm going to book onto a few non-Gunman games to see what they're like as far as Namsoft goes. I'll report back here. *I’ll miss the ugly details. It did involve incorrect tent identification and entry, tuneless singing, questionable scotch and, arguing about aeg performance, all within a self defined 'bar'.

I'll confess to not buying that much tool wise since Johnny Major was in no. 10. I have Facom, King Dick, Snap On, Stanley, and Draper Expert, a few TUV approved bits and pieces, some home-made pullers/presses and drifts, and Makita for the electrical stuff, all of which have lasted regular use for half a working lifetime. It's damn good to catch up on what's current! The Bahco looks superb. I'll toddle off to the local MM tomorrow. Think I Stihl have an account with them. (Sorry for the awful pun )

That's brilliant mate. Those are the style I've been looking at. I don't usually buy cheaper than Draper as a rule.

What do you call a video of two toads having sex? Frogspawn.