Tactical Pith Helmet

Just quit my job at the circus. My boss was a fucking clown...

I actually have on my CV: 'C in GCSE Physics Understanding of BB weight upon exterior ballistic performance of 6mm plastic BB, as presented in posts on AFUK.' I reckon that's worth a couple of grand extra a year surely?!

A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat...

It's certainly practical!

WTF is an acronym

The 26mm objective allows slightly more magnification for maximum low light gathering i.e. 7mm exit pupil at approx 3.7 x mag. The optical quality would dictate if this meant anything though. Have you looked through either though? I've a simple fixed 4x40 US made Weaver that outperforms any cheap Chinese scope of whatever make or spec. Personally I can snap shoot both eyes open with a crystal clear 4x as easily as 1x. I've a period correct fixed Nikko Sterling Gold Crown on my 'Nam M14. If you want multiple aimpoints I'd try and find a Hawke Panorama in 2-7x 32 1/2 mildot. I don't know what model replaced it, but when I shot the HFT world championship in 2014, the top three placed shooters were equipped with larger Panoramas. I have a 3-9x40 on my Steve Pope tuned HW97K HFT rifle. It's an amazing scope for the money. Another option is Minox BDC. Not sure these are cheap anymore. I use one of these on my SVD. https://www.uttings.co.uk/p122015-nikko-stirling-30mm-diamond-1-4x24-ir-rifle-scope-ndsi1424/

I used to have a loving family, a nice house, and good car until I got involved with drugs. Now I have my own island and a yacht.

I second this, and use both of them. First game we ever played the lad got three ticks. I once had 14! The one on the back of my bollox was not funny. Forget the embarrassment and get someone to check you over. Use your phone camera if on your own. FFS delete the vid straight away....

People think grass don't be wet in the morning. But it dew.

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked, "What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?" Her husband replied, "It's a war to stop America and NATO." "Oh, right” she says “How's it going?" “Well” he replied “so far we have lost over 20 generals, over 315,000 troops killed or wounded, 3000 tanks, 300 aircraft, hundreds of helicopters, countless armoured vehicles, artillery and trucks, our flagship along with other naval ships, our army is being defeated in most areas and we have had to resort to conscripting 500,000 Russians including murders and rapists to replace our losses”. “Wow” replied the wife “what about America and NATO”? “They haven’t turned up yet”

I was told I could look at the eclipse through a colander. I tried it but it strained my eyes...

Written brief etc and someone with him I'd say. You can worry to much too. He's survived to 34 without being able to hear warning shouts etc. Appropriate dress to feel hits, a companion and very importantly, 'we have a deaf player today. He has as much right to enjoy the day as the rest of us, so help him by waving your hand clearly as well as calling hit. If you don't, don't cry to us if you're overshot,' during briefing. You could compile a notebook of obvious phrases, or pics to use and hand them to the marshals. Get everyone to draw a thumb across the throat for 'you're dead' use military hand signals between the two of you. On a similar note; a lass who worked in a local pub was a sign interpreter. She used to teach us to order ale in sign. It taught us quite a vocabulary (think daft real ale names). It was pretty easy too when used for something that you understood and needed to do. It was fun too, pissed blokes miming 'three pints of Old Cripple Cock, please love.' I used to be able to sign most of the alphabet for words that I didn't know. I've forgotten all of it over the last 20 years, but we all could know a bit I think. I expect that there's a few online courses about. Just a few ideas, I expect that some will be well wide of the individual mark, not knowing the chap. Players will forget and get it wrong around him, but they do already with the hearing, and that doesn't stop us. Hope you and his mates can sort something out and enjoy the day together.

I'm a member of a couple of bike forums and angling forums. Christ alive they're dull. I got slated for sending a vid of me wheelieing the bloody bike, as well as advice such as, 'it's powerful enough as it is.' Two wheeled corpses I tell you. The angling one's livelier...

Just watching a shifty looking geezer in the library searching intently through ths 'S' section of the dictionary, he's stopped now. I think he's up to something.

I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him. I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.