Skullchewer Posted April 23, 2024 Share Posted April 23, 2024 Just met Leo Sayer in the local pub. He said "You look like Sam from Cheers " He made me feel like Danson! DanBow, Shamal, Tackle and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted April 23, 2024 Share Posted April 23, 2024 @Tackleyou laughed at my Leo Sayer joke. You are officially old. Tackle, Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavinkempsell Posted April 23, 2024 Share Posted April 23, 2024 2 minutes ago, Skullchewer said: you laughed at my Leo Sayer joke. You are officially old. can't believe I never got it the first time. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted April 23, 2024 Moderators Share Posted April 23, 2024 5 minutes ago, Skullchewer said: @Tackleyou laughed at my Leo Sayer joke. You are officially old. Lol, I considered commenting on it that it would be wasted on many here👶🍼 Shamal and Skullchewer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 24, 2024 Share Posted April 24, 2024 It's Saint George's Day today. Patron saint of cheap clothes in Asda. Cannonfodder, Shamal and Skullchewer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 24, 2024 Author Share Posted April 24, 2024 Because of the hot weather over the next few days, my boss has said we can bring shorts to work. Jack Daniels it is then! Skullchewer, Tackle and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 25, 2024 Share Posted April 25, 2024 I hate being tailgated, especially when you're already doing 70 in a 30. And this blokes aftermarket blue lights are bloody annoying too... Shamal and Skullchewer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 26, 2024 Author Share Posted April 26, 2024 Policeman said "you were doing 75 mph sir" "That's a lie officer", I replied."I've only been out for twenty minutes" Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 27, 2024 Share Posted April 27, 2024 Yesterday I accidentally stepped on a copy of the Daily Mail and then had to spend ages hunting round to find some dog shit to wipe it off with. EDcase, Shamal and John_W 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 27, 2024 Author Share Posted April 27, 2024 IM GOING TO WRITE ALL MY JOKES IN CAPITALS. THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN IN CARDIFF. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 28, 2024 Share Posted April 28, 2024 There are two types of people in the world, the bad and the good. The good sleep better, but the bad enjoy being awake more... DanBow and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 29, 2024 Author Share Posted April 29, 2024 I wouldn’t recommend that new steak house in town, the beef was so undercooked, it started eating the salad. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gavinkempsell Posted April 29, 2024 Share Posted April 29, 2024 40 minutes ago, Shamal said: I wouldn’t recommend that new steak house in town, the beef was so undercooked, it started eating the salad. Awe, MANN! let it go Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 30, 2024 Share Posted April 30, 2024 A 50 year old man found dead in a local park has been named by police. Bloody shame it took 50 years for someone to name him! Shamal and Cannonfodder 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted April 30, 2024 Share Posted April 30, 2024 10 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: A 50 year old man found dead in a local park has been named by police. Bloody shame it took 50 years for someone to name him! By police is a very strange name Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 1, 2024 Share Posted May 1, 2024 When my 96 year old granddad was put into a home, it was good to see he still had his flirting game on at least. He approached this old lady and said, 'I'd love to get into your pants.' 'Really?' she beamed back at him. 'Yes,' he said, 'because I just shat in mine.' Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted May 1, 2024 Share Posted May 1, 2024 How do welshmen find sheep in long grass? Irresistible Shamal, concretesnail, DanBow and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 1, 2024 Author Share Posted May 1, 2024 . A man goes to his doctor complaining of constipation. The doctor says ” take this suppositorie and call me tomorrow. “ The man calls the doctor the next day, complaining that it didn't help. The man says “ I took it with a glass of water, and nothing happened.” The doctor says “ That's not how you were supposed to take it.” Obviously upset, the man says “ What did you expect me to do? Shove it up my ass! Cannonfodder and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 3, 2024 Share Posted May 3, 2024 (edited) 'Hell is other pirates.' Long Jean Sartre Edited May 3, 2024 by Tactical Pith Helmet Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 3, 2024 Author Share Posted May 3, 2024 53 minutes ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: 'Hell is other pirates.' Long Jean Satre Very highbrow.lol but it's Sartre 😉 Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 3, 2024 Share Posted May 3, 2024 6 hours ago, Shamal said: Very highbrow.lol but it's Sartre 😉 Thanks! Typo edited. Temptation to go on about great The Roads to Freedom trilogy is resisted. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Shamal Posted May 5, 2024 Author Popular Post Share Posted May 5, 2024 (edited) 4 engineers get into a car . The car wont start. mechanical engineer says : its a broken starter Electrical engineer says : dead battery chemical engineer says : impurities in the gasoline IT engineer says : hey guys i have an idea, how about we all get out of the car, and then get in again. Edited May 5, 2024 by Shamal Spelin Tactical Pith Helmet, Muzzer, Adolf Hamster and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 6, 2024 Share Posted May 6, 2024 “Schools serve the same social functions as prisons and mental institutions- to define, classify, control, and regulate people.” Michel Foucault "I don't care, you're going anyway." Foucault's Mum Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 6, 2024 Author Share Posted May 6, 2024 God saw that Adam was lonely and He said to him, “Do not be downcast. My work is not yet finished. I shall make for you a companion, and she shall have the gentle voice of an angel, the beauty of a summer sunrise, a kind heart that is sensitive to your every need before you even know you have it, and a glorious body that will be a delight to hold; and I shall call this Woman.” “That sounds wonderful!” breathes Adam. “Yes,” says God, “but it’s going to cost you an arm, a leg, an eye, an ear, and your right testicle.” Adam digests this in silence and says, “Hypothetically, Lord… what could I get for just a rib?” DanBow, Muzzer and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 7, 2024 Share Posted May 7, 2024 I struggled with the laundry basket until I finally dropped it. Newly laundered clothes went everywhere. My wife did nothing to help. She just watched it all unfold. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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