Shamal Posted April 4, 2022 Author Share Posted April 4, 2022 8 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: A Freudian slip is actually when you say one thing, but mean your mother. Yes I know that.,🙂 Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Head Moderator Jedi_Master Posted April 4, 2022 Head Moderator Share Posted April 4, 2022 On 03/04/2022 at 20:57, sonofsammo said: How many cognitive behavioural therapy practitioners does it take to change a lightbulb? Somewhere between 1 and 10. Only one, whilst the remainder just bullshit about non-sensical stuff and charge too much for it. Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 5, 2022 Author Share Posted April 5, 2022 At the local zoo, I spotted one cage with just a ham roll in it. Slightly confused, I asked the zoo keeper if this was deliberate. They told me it was and that it was bread in captivity. Tactical Pith Helmet, Sebza, Skullchewer and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 6, 2022 Share Posted April 6, 2022 Just lost my job as a massage therapist. My boss said I rubbed people up the wrong way. Shamal and Skullchewer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 6, 2022 Share Posted April 6, 2022 I was going to make a joke about sales posts and users with numbers at the end of their names, but decided on discretion 🤣🤣 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 6, 2022 Author Share Posted April 6, 2022 37 minutes ago, rocketdogbert said: I was going to make a joke about sales posts and users with numbers at the end of their names, but decided on discretion 🤣🤣 Haha. C'mon let's hear it 😀 Regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 6, 2022 Share Posted April 6, 2022 42 minutes ago, Shamal said: Haha. C'mon let's hear it 😀 Regards two more independent votes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirsoftTed Posted April 6, 2022 Share Posted April 6, 2022 Two tampons are walking down the street. Which one of them says hello to you first? Neither, they're both stuck up c**ts! Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet and Tackle 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 6, 2022 Author Share Posted April 6, 2022 I was just viewing a woman's profile on a dating website, 'Blonde 33 Great Personality 5ft 3 Green Eyes.' Don't get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against short women, but, 3 green eyes? No wonder she's single! 🤭 Tactical Pith Helmet, Tackle, Sebza and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAkimboSteak Posted April 6, 2022 Share Posted April 6, 2022 Saw my next door neighbour over the fence she told me that she was having a problem, someone has been stealing clothes off her washing line I nearly sh1t her pants... Cannonfodder, Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 7, 2022 Share Posted April 7, 2022 I was told that I have my mother's eyes today. Strangest will I've ever heard! Shamal, Cannonfodder, Tackle and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 7, 2022 Author Share Posted April 7, 2022 I bought one of those dna genealogy tests for my pet frog the other month and we got the results back today. Apparently he’s a little bit French, part Scottish & a tad Pole.🐸 Tackle, Sebza and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supporters Tackle Posted April 7, 2022 Supporters Share Posted April 7, 2022 1 hour ago, Shamal said: I bought one of those dna genealogy tests for my pet frog the other month and we got the results back today. Apparently he’s a little bit French, part Scottish & a tad Pole.🐸 Talking of frogs 🤣 Sebza, Shamal and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 7, 2022 Share Posted April 7, 2022 (edited) Uncle Bob was at the opticians. 'I got some semen in one of my pupils last week, will it cause me any harm?' Rather shocked the optician stammers out, 'Oh no, I'm sure that you'll be fine. ' 'Thank fuck for that,' says Bob, 'her parents were going to go to the school and the police. ' Edited April 8, 2022 by Tactical Pith Helmet Tackle, Skullchewer, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 8, 2022 Share Posted April 8, 2022 I asked my friend John if being deaf held him back as a gynaecologist. 'No,' he replied, 'I'm dead good at lip reading.' Sebza and Jedi_Master 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 9, 2022 Share Posted April 9, 2022 After weeks of trying to get an appointment, the doctor finally had a look at the annoying rash on my bollocks. I couldn't believe it. He just pushed his trolley away and carried on shopping! Sebza, Shamal and Skullchewer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 What does Jeff Beezoss do before bed? Puts his pajamazon Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted April 10, 2022 Author Share Posted April 10, 2022 French Navy coming to Portsmouth. The French Navy will be visiting Portsmouth and unveiling their new motto ‘To the water, it’s there’ or as the French would say it ‘A l’eau, c’est la' Tactical Pith Helmet, Floperator, SBoardley and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 2 hours ago, Shamal said: French Navy coming to Portsmouth. The French Navy will be visiting Portsmouth and unveiling their new motto ‘To the water, it’s there’ or as the French would say it ‘A l’eau, c’est la' Jesus wept! 😃 Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 10, 2022 Share Posted April 10, 2022 For years I've given £5 each month to cats protection. I only missed two payments and the swine have come round to my house and broken my cats legs! Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John_W Posted April 11, 2022 Share Posted April 11, 2022 Chuck Norris is hosting the Oscars next year. When he tells jokes about their wives, husbands will slap themselves. Tackle, Tactical Pith Helmet, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 14 hours ago, John_W said: Chuck Norris is hosting the Oscars next year. When he tells jokes about their wives, husbands will slap themselves. I laughed so hard I dropped my phone. But it was on Aeroplane mode so it landed safely. John_W, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 What do you call a man without a dog? Dogless... Skullchewer and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted April 13, 2022 Share Posted April 13, 2022 10 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: What do you call a man without a dog? Dogless... Oh, we're going there are we? What do you call a man with shovel in his head? Dug. Tactical Pith Helmet and Tackle 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supporters Tackle Posted April 13, 2022 Supporters Share Posted April 13, 2022 In that case, meet my mate Hamed Shamal, Skullchewer and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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