Shamal

Before I part with my hard earned can anyone tell me what fried air tastes like?

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and join me" So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while, the lizard says his mouth Is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river. At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?!" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The Inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says "Hey, MONKEY!" The Monkey looks down and says "FUUUUUCK DUUUDE HOW MUCH WATER DID YOU DRINK?!

I'm off to the hospital. I reckon l've got pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it's hard to say

Sensible thinking.👍 As you go along and meet and talk to people you will pick up more knowledge and then the inner workings of an Airsoft gun will loose some of its scariness(?) Watching tube vids will help. If you can use a soldering iron then the deans conversion is a doddle so long as you are careful and make sure the + and - are on the right pins.Again tube vids will help. Regards

I got on the number 925 bus from Woking the other day. I said to the driver “What a way to make a living”

I envy people who grow old gracefully. They age like a fine wine. I’m ageing like milk: Getting sour and chunky

Well my son was sent to jail once. He screamed,he swore,wouldn't eat and smeared excrement on the walls...... We never played Monopoly again!

Haha. The electronic one.That was when TV remotes were sonic!

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe. Look towards the sky. What you see?” The Lone Ranger replies “I see millions of stars.” “And what does that tell you?” asks Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders this for a minute and then says “Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically speaking, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell you, Tonto?” Tonto fixes the Lone Ranger with a steely glare and replies “It tells that you are dumber than buffalo crap. It means that someone's stolen our tent!

Hi bud and welcome back👍 Check out the classifieds. There is a lot of good kit to be had at good prices. Enjoy your return 🙂 Regards

Old people may remember Ceefax. Hey don't forget Oracle young man. Fetch me bedsocks. 😂😂 Regards

When the pool re-opens, due to social distancing rules, there will be no water in lanes 1, 3, and 5.

Ok. So is that one from each friend? Did they know? Is there a reason why they are 'old friends'? So many questions. 😉🙂 Regards

Today’s 3-year-olds can switch on laptops and open their favorite apps. When I was 3, I ate mud. Shit. Times have changed.

Went to interview for new job.manager said "the starting pay is £30,000, Later it can go up to £50,000." "That's Great" I said I’ll start later.”

Forward thinking at it's best 🙂

I was doing some biological research on ants and discovered you can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant. If it floats: boy ant.

It looks like there is a thread further down 🤔

Haha. Just an observation on my part. Sometimes a photo is taken from a certain perspective and it can contain a element that takes on a different role. It looked to me that the suppressor was attached to the helmet forming a handle. Just my warped soh.😉 The loadout looks great though👍 Regards

The helmet in the last picture can also double as a snow scoop.😉

Mk 23's are simple to work on. As it happens I did one of mine yesterday. It was leaking from base. Popped out pins, removed base took old o ring out, put in new one. Took out fill valve removed o ring and put on new one. Reassembled,gassed up,stood in bowl of water and no bubbles. Whole job prob ten mins.🙂

Well on a similar note. I had my first gym session after the Christmas hols last night. Instructor was shouting..." Push it, push it, come on one more big push". Finally he came and opened the door for me.