Shamal

A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile, and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution. "Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile. "Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, and then kill it," shouted the murderer. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile. "Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, and then burn it," said the pyromaniac. There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow

I know what the words mean but can't form them into that punchline ☹️

I've just checked my home insurance policy, and apparently if my duvet is stolen in the middle of the night, l'm not covered.☹️

Well what do you expect. You are using a Wickes aluminium rule and a rolson sliding square.??? It's not a lot but I guess that if it irks you maybe you could take tube off and file some material off the back face of the receiver. I'm gonna have to have a look at mine now!! ? Regards

Haha. No to be fair it was well contrived?

Hi bud. Nice clean video but why are you fading out every few seconds and returning at a different location? I would prefer to watch complete game play as it happens and in a continuous order. Perhaps there is a reason you have made vid this way? But as i say nice clear and steady video? Regards

Nice.

You sure like the ugly ones ???

I was at the beach and saw a man out past the breakers flapping his arms about and yelling "HELP! SHARK! HELP!" And I chuckled to myself, "There's no way that shark is gonna help him!"

Three games at same site ?

Niiice! you will live to fight another day lol. ?

You will survive bud ? Did you have any sickness or see stars? Any sleepiness, confusion? Has the ringing in the ears subsided? I think I probably was the shock of the impact and perhaps an involuntary,sudden snapping of you head backwards as a reaction to the pain. Use some ice on the swelling( wrapped in a cloth) and the heamatoma will just disappear over time.?. If you do experience any of above symptoms or feel unwell then ring 111. Best of luck ?

Hi and hi again.? Yeah as above really. Good sturdy boots with ankle support is a good idea and a couple of sites I play at insist on them. So yeah get out there and have a blaaarst! Enjoy your wallet emptying new hobby and remember.....call ya feckin hits! ?? Regards

I've just renamed my WiFi network to "police surveillance van #1” That should keep the neighbours on their toes for a while!

Actually they do look like a couple from my club.?

I don't know about calories but I'm having trouble keeping my head above water! I went to a pub in Yorkshire and brought home some of their souvenirs. I bought a beermat, a glass, a box of matches and serviettes. A lot of Ilkley Moor Bar tat.

Bloody hell.talk about friendly fire ??‍?

Who's fecking friendly and knowledgeable? Not me for one so feck off and stop bothering me! Hi bud and welcome to the asylum ??? Have fun,enjoy and call ya hits ? Regards

I went back to Sainsbury’s, asking for a refund on a Winebox I bought. It says 'Once opened will last for 6 weeks’ It was empty after 2 days?‍?

STAY AWAY FROM WEYMOUTH I witnessed some terrible behaviour by the seafront from a couple arguing in front of a load of kids. It started off as an argument but soon escalated to violence. The police attended the situation, the lead police officer tried to placate the couple but had no choice but to use his baton on the bloke, but the bloke managed to snatch the baton and started hitting the police officer and the woman with it. Then a crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages.

Shame it's not the end of August cause the national Airsoft festival on the 27th,28th and 29th is a great Weekender.

Hi and welcome ? So you played when you were younger? And now you are older and wiser you want to start again. To be honest you have given yourself the best advice. Just go ? It sounds like you are not a complete beginner so you know your way around a gun which is good? People will know if you are new to their local site and a quick 'hi bud nice gat' will soon get you talking and from there you can ask what the setup is, what type of games are played and where is the coffee station. Lol. There was a new chap at my local site last week who happened to be setting up next to me. it was his first time there. We soon got talking and we teamed up and played the day together. So yeah follow your own advice and do it.You know it makes sense lol. Good luck,enjoy and call ya hits ? Regards

Somebody did say it could be a broken spring. Halfords do a box of mixed springs.might be something in there which will do the job.

Having made a ouija board entirely out of probiotic yoghurt pots, a friend asked me if I was dabbling in the Yakult.?

Hiya bud.? Climb board the good ship afuk. Be prepared for an expensive cruise though ? I'm pretty new to it all as well. Only about 8 years under my belt which is nothing to some of the guys here. Enjoy the forum,enjoy the game and call ya hits ? Regards