Shamal

Well I thought it was good 🙂

While booing and jeering is encouraged at a pantomime, I discovered it's not encouraged at a nursery school nativity ☹️

Just got a new job as a waiter, it’s not great, but it puts food on the table.

I’ve not been able to get an appointment at the surgery for six months, but I saw my doctor on Tuesday and showed him my haemorrhoids. However, he just ignored me and continued pushing his shopping trolley.🤪

I ended a long term relationship today......I'm not too bothered,it wasn't mine.

Hello and welcome back to the fold 👍 Enjoy your respawn 🙂 Regards

It's been so cold in our house just lately that the toilet duck has flown south for the winter.

Practice bud 👍 We have all done the spillage of bbs. With a high cap mag the quickest way to fill it is direct from the bottle. With practice you can hold the top of the mag with one hand which forms a sort of funnel to guide the bbs into the fill hatch. I think it is harder to use a bag especially in the heat of battle. You can get hi capacity speed loaders but that can be a slow noisy job. In time you will get more proficient and loose less bbs and also your trigger finger will get lighter and you won't be firing off so many😉

Is that my hit marks or hers? 😂

I do have access to a makeshift chrono. It's called the wife. Now,depending on how loud she yells or how hard she punches me after being shot in the butt,I can roughly determine how hot or not a gat is running. Use this method at your own risk.....😉

A Russian agent arrives at a small Welsh station and asks for Mr Jones. “Well,” says the stationmaster, “there’s Jones the Milk, Jones the Meat, Jones the Flowers, Jones the Undertaker. In fact, my name’s Jones.” The agent whispers to him, “The eagle doesn’t walk over the mountain.” “Ah,” says the stationmaster, “you want Jones the Spy.”

Same as mine. Came with the tripod and works well.

Love scotch pies 👍

Not true. I bought Mrs Shamal a cook book last Christmas. Nothing has changed. 😂😂

Arnie has twenty letters.

Tell them to give it back now or you are telling ya mam!!

Someone has opened the Christmas crackers early..... Lol

Contact engineering at its best 👍

A sister and her little brother are attending the first day of primary school in a one-room country school. The teacher is having all the students stand and give their names. When it’s the sister’s turn, she stands and says, “My name is Snotty Jones.” “No,” says the teacher. “I don’t want you to give us your nickname, I want your real given name.” “But, teacher,” says the girl, “That IS my real name! Everybody has called me that for my whole life!” “Well, that’s just not possible, and if you don’t know what the name on your birth certificate is, I’m going to have to send you home to get it.” “Okay, I guess that’s what I have to do,” the girl says and gathers her belongings. As she walks by her little brother’s desk, she says, “C’mon, Shitty, she’s not going to believe you, either"

Hi fella and welcome to the fun palace that is afuk 🙂 Come on in,look around but don't break anything and leave it tidy when you leave.😉 Regards 👍

Crikey is the ACME manufacturing co still going? I though they had folded when they lost Wile E.Coyote and Bugs Bunnys' business.😉

I've had mine already. A viper buckle up pc with day pack and accessories courtesy of @spaghettiwetty. Thanks darling 💕