Tactical Pith Helmet

My new girlfriend is pretty sophisticated. She likes her Pot Noodles al dente.

You need to narrow it down...

I went into an explosives shop yesterday and tried to buy a grenade with my debit card. It all went wrong when the cashier asked for my pin.

I once looked up the ingredients of WD on the German TuV website. I think that it was 50%ish thinners; so an effective penetrant and degreaser. It will make steel corrode over time, and rots rubber. Given that stainless steel skinned Atlas rockets were deployed in San Diego, I dunno why people use this to lube or protect. Stopping 304 stainless steel from corroding in a climate that doesn't drop below about 10 deg. C isn't something that's exactly difficult. 3-in-1 comes in different grades now too, light and heavy. I think that the tin you inherit from your Grandfather is light.

My dad always said "when one door shuts, another one opens" He never could sell that bloody car.

I was useless learning knots as a kid. As an adult, I've become slightly compulsive about learning them and failing to teach them to my kids.

I suppose that riding for a living a few years allowed me to perfect things a bit. Barn door fairing, hand waxed leggings, Seyntex over jacket, beer towel scarves (with spares), heated grips, handlebar muffs, Sealskin socks, reams of gaffer tape over vulnerable bits and daily kit care kept me dry on all but a few occasions. I drowned a few radios mind...

Deja vu is strong with this one! Accidentally replaced my halogen bulbs with hallucinogen bulbs. Now the circuit breakers are tripping and my electric bill is really high.

Great stuff. Loved the tip for not letting your Bic lighter lose gas. Defo second foil backed double skin tarps for shelter. I'd add hobo cooker and Snugpak Jungle Blanket, as well as Kelly Kettle and cook kit as options too. They are the more feral ends of this type of thing though tbh.

NEVER look through a scope that you cannot afford. Always take enough loo roll on milsims. Always sneak a hipflask into milsims - those nights can get cold. If your rif doesn't work, 95% of the time you should undo whatever the hell you last did when you 'upgraded/improved' it. Buy an anchor magnet and keep it in your vehicle (as per Strykerles!) Have a choice of food when playing over the weekend, its far nicer than eating something you really don't fancy. Take a basic toolkit and a spare gun and boots. Drink more water than you think you need to. Remember that you are there to have fun, and so is everyone else. It's a game, and sportsmanship is more important than your ego.

Sad to see all this fighting around the world between various religions. Yet I see how peaceful Hindus are in contrast. They have no beef with anyone!

I've had good games a Tuddenham in a pre-fab single story accommodation block. A lot of thought went into the games and they were spring and gas only days. Only one chap had a GBBR the rest were pump action shotties, pistols etc. Bloody great fun.

I have a disease where I can't stop telling airport jokes. My doctor says it's terminal...

You two need the good work of GT85 and silicone grease (and surplus waterproofs on the bike). I took this pic after a run into town on my old winter hack. I'd stopped off at the common for a play on my way back. I use the lad's SR125 for really shit weather these days.

Rang the orphanage today and said that I had a large donation for them. I'll drop the fat little swine off after school on Monday...

He's quoting Alfred Wainwright in A Coast to Coast Walk. I expect that Fiennes is familiar with Wainwright!

Stock length has a big effect on arm tiredness. Mrs TPH uses an AKS with the stock collapsed. Its all metal, but holding the weight closer to her, she does fine all weekend at milsims/filmsims. She's 4'11" too. I play at Snetterton sometimes. My son uses a VZ Skorpion with a li-po there. Ultra light and with a drum hi-cap you only need the one mag.

How do you make a bear cross? Nail two bears together.

That's quality! Also I appreciate your tenacity. Look forward to your results.

Paul Simon has opened a cat sanctuary. Its called 'Feline Groovy.'* *I know, I'm really sorry(ish) 🤣

Uncle Bob went on a blind date last night, It didn't start that way... But she had pepper spray

What's green and fuzzy, with four legs, and can kill you if it falls from a tree? A pool table.

I won a competition for Heston Blumenthal to cook at my house using only ingredients I had at home. It was amazing, we had a fantastic Vietnamese coconut curry with lime and coriander foam, mint and teatree jelly, cocoa shea butter sabayon and finished with a frozen lemon and ginseng tea. In the morning the wife said all her toiletries had gone and one of the cats was missing.