Shamal Posted May 8, 2023 Author Share Posted May 8, 2023 My first flat was so close to Heathrow airport, that every time I went to the kitchen to make a sandwich, a stewardess told me to get back to my seat. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 People applauded when they witnessed a dwarf abseiling down a prison wall. I saw it as a little condescending. Skullchewer, Cannonfodder and Shamal 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 Why did REM split up? The rest of the band weren't Michael's type Tactical Pith Helmet, Shamal and Skullchewer 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 10, 2023 Author Share Posted May 10, 2023 Im feeling a bit poorly. Worried I could have Wheels disease. I heard the people on the bus saying it’s going round and round☹️ Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 I see that Germany is sending tanks to Ukraine. Apparently they'll be going via Poland for old times sake. TacticalWaifu, Smiling-Dutchman, Cannonfodder and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 12, 2023 Author Share Posted May 12, 2023 My friend has just bought an old Boeing 747, he plans on turning it into a themed restaurant. I doubt it'll take off.... Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 14, 2023 Author Share Posted May 14, 2023 On Monday I will be taking an exam on the Study of Flying Insects… I've been up all night swatting! Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 14, 2023 Share Posted May 14, 2023 A dyslexic friend of mine thought it might help his condition if he joined a poetry club. He hasn't written any poems yet, but he's made some pretty nice jugs and vases and stuff. Cannonfodder, Smiling-Dutchman and Shamal 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiling-Dutchman Posted May 15, 2023 Share Posted May 15, 2023 What do you call a woman who is a bell? Isabelle. Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet and rj1986 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 16, 2023 Author Share Posted May 16, 2023 19 hours ago, Smiling-Dutchman said: What do you call a woman who is a bell? Isabelle. I like that one....it's got a nice ring to it. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted May 17, 2023 Share Posted May 17, 2023 17 hours ago, Shamal said: I like that one....it's got a nice ring to it. Said the bishop during choir practice Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 17, 2023 Author Share Posted May 17, 2023 I was sceptical that doctors could improve my posture but I stand corrected Tactical Pith Helmet and Cannonfodder 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiling-Dutchman Posted May 17, 2023 Share Posted May 17, 2023 Got fired from my job making kitchens. Apparently I was counter productive... rj1986 and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 17, 2023 Share Posted May 17, 2023 My mate draws sketches of escaped prisoners for the police. He's a con artist. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rj1986 Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 Why does Elton John always play piano? Because he sucks on an organ Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leo Greer Posted May 18, 2023 Share Posted May 18, 2023 Those who get too big for their britches will all be exposed in the end. Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 18, 2023 Author Share Posted May 18, 2023 My son won a 10m swimming badge yesterday... We had to hire a flat bed truck to get it home! Skullchewer, rj1986 and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Skullchewer Posted May 19, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2023 I used to know a joke about Midas and Oedipus meeting up but I forgot it. Shame. It was mother fucking gold. Tactical Pith Helmet, RostokMcSpoons, Shamal and 4 others 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiling-Dutchman Posted May 19, 2023 Share Posted May 19, 2023 A mobius strip walks into a bar, looking a bit down. The barman sees this and asks: "hey man, what's up?" The mobius strip replies: "where do I begin?" Skullchewer, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 19, 2023 Author Share Posted May 19, 2023 s . . . o _ _ _ r . _ . r . _ . y _ . _ _ Remorse code Tactical Pith Helmet and Leo Greer 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 I've been meditating in the garden. I'm no fortune teller but my fuchsia looks bright. Leo Greer, Shamal and rj1986 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted May 22, 2023 Share Posted May 22, 2023 8 spiderman films and not once did anybody think to just put a giant glass over him TacticalWaifu, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 22, 2023 Author Share Posted May 22, 2023 Vegans need to be kinder to others for their eating habits. The last thing we need is another Spinach Inquisition SBoardley, Cannonfodder and Tactical Pith Helmet 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted May 22, 2023 Share Posted May 22, 2023 My wife told me that the cat needed to be chipped. I only had a nine iron, but I still got it over the shed. Shamal, Smiling-Dutchman, Skullchewer and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted May 24, 2023 Author Share Posted May 24, 2023 (edited) You're gonna have to work with me on this one. Our local village hall is running a session of yodelling lessons. If you are interested in attending, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue. Edited May 24, 2023 by Shamal Spelin Tackle, Cannonfodder and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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