Cannonfodder Posted October 3, 2023 Share Posted October 3, 2023 I know there's a separate thread for memes but I think this is a better fit here Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 4, 2023 Share Posted October 4, 2023 Politicians and porn stars. They both switch position in front of a camera... Cannonfodder, Rogerborg and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 4, 2023 Author Share Posted October 4, 2023 Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!" Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 5, 2023 Share Posted October 5, 2023 I wonder if the guy who coined the phrase 'one hit wonder' ever came up with any other phrases? DanBow and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 5, 2023 Author Share Posted October 5, 2023 I asked my daughter to pass me the phone book. She called me a dinosaur and laughed and handed me her iPhone. Anyway the spider is dead,the iPhone is broken and my daughter is furious.😕 DanBow, John_W, Tactical Pith Helmet and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 I got a part time job making plastic Draculas. It's great but there are only two of us; so I have to make every second count... John_W, Shamal and DanBow 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanBow Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 (edited) 7 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: I got a part time job making plastic Draculas. It's great but there are only two of us; so I have to make every second count... edit: I tried to post a gif of the Count off Sesame Street but it didn't work!!!! Edited October 6, 2023 by DanBow Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 6, 2023 Author Share Posted October 6, 2023 48 minutes ago, DanBow said: edit: I tried to post a gif of the Count off Sesame Street but it didn't work!!!! It's probably one he made lol DanBow and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 6, 2023 Author Share Posted October 6, 2023 Thor the Norse warrior is killed in battle, he arrives in Valhalla and is greeted by Odin the great god, after a while Thor is sorely missing the pleasures of a woman and keeps on pleading with Odin to allow him to go back to earth one last time to satisfy himself, finally Odin agrees with one condition that he does not tell the woman his name, Thor readily agrees and after a night of very passionate lovemaking he is very pleased with himself and decides when the lady comes back from the bathroom he would tell her who he is, "I’m Thor" he shouts beating his chest, " YOU'RE THORE?" she exclaims "I’m so thore l could hardly pith" Tactical Pith Helmet and DanBow 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 7, 2023 Share Posted October 7, 2023 If you're dating a dominatrix, never tell her that it's time to hit the sack... On 03/10/2023 at 05:09, Cannonfodder said: I know there's a separate thread for memes but I think this is a better fit here I don't get it. 😉 Cannonfodder, John_W and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 7, 2023 Author Share Posted October 7, 2023 A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." Tactical Pith Helmet, Joanne and DanBow 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 9, 2023 Share Posted October 9, 2023 I'm going to make a TV mini-series about hi-jacking a plane. We just shot the pilot. Correll, Shamal and DanBow 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted October 9, 2023 Moderators Share Posted October 9, 2023 37 minutes ago, Joanne said: Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. Good morning y'all 1 hour ago, Correll said: Shooting the pilot at the beginning of the movie will be disastrous 😂😂😂, hello guys, it’s nice to meet your all. Welcome ladies ?, pure coincidence, friends/teammates, or spambots/scammers ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 9, 2023 Author Share Posted October 9, 2023 14 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said: I'm going to make a TV mini-series about hi-jacking a plane. We just shot the pilot. Sneaky one lol Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 9, 2023 Author Share Posted October 9, 2023 Delivering elevators is turning out to be harder than I thought because most people won’t accept lifts off strangers! Tactical Pith Helmet, Rogerborg and Tackle 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted October 10, 2023 Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2023 On 09/10/2023 at 08:19, Tackle said: Welcome ladies ?, pure coincidence, friends/teammates, or spambots/scammers ? Correll has gone, tried to embellish their legitimacy with bs, as suspected, dodgy af. Who's next ? 😏 Shamal, DanBow, Rogerborg and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, Tackle said: Correll has gone, tried to embellish their legitimacy with bs, as suspected, dodgy af. Who's next ? 😏 Aw, what did I miss? Edited October 10, 2023 by Cannonfodder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted October 10, 2023 Moderators Share Posted October 10, 2023 14 minutes ago, Cannonfodder said: As, what did I miss? New member with the usual "tell tales" that raise suspicions, then @Colin Allen spotted their sales pic on a thread on reddit I think, well done to him. I'd already asked them to update their thread with a username note which they hadn't responded to. Got my eye on a couple of others that are "off" ? Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet and Cannonfodder 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin Allen Posted October 10, 2023 Share Posted October 10, 2023 2 hours ago, Tackle said: New member with the usual "tell tales" that raise suspicions, then @Colin Allen spotted their sales pic on a thread on reddit I think, well done to him. I'd already asked them to update their thread with a username note which they hadn't responded to. Got my eye on a couple of others that are "off" ? The power of reverse image search! Shamal, Tactical Pith Helmet, Tackle and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 11, 2023 Share Posted October 11, 2023 My neighbours dog keeps trying to mount anything that moves... it's a Jack Russell Brand. Shamal and Tackle 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 11, 2023 Author Share Posted October 11, 2023 I took my sausage dog back to the pet shop........ He was rubbish at cooking sausages. Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 13, 2023 Author Share Posted October 13, 2023 A man tells his friend that he has been sleeping around. The friend advises him to go and confess in church. So they go together and the man enters the confession box. Man: Father, I have sinned. Priest: What have you done, my son? Man: I have been sleeping around with married women in your congregation. Priest: Which one my son? Mary Charles? Man: No, father Priest: Patricia Jones? Man: No father Priest: Jeana Lee? Man: No, father Priest: Ok, put 5 pounds in the donation box and I shall pray to God to forgive you. The man comes out, puts five pounds in the box and walks out with his friend. Friend: So what happened? What did you get? Man: Three good leads DanBow and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 5 hours ago, Shamal said: A man tells his friend that he has been sleeping around. The friend advises him to go and confess in church. So they go together and the man enters the confession box. Man: Father, I have sinned. Priest: What have you done, my son? Man: I have been sleeping around with married women in your congregation. Priest: Which one my son? Mary Charles? Man: No, father Priest: Patricia Jones? Man: No father Priest: Jeana Lee? Man: No, father Priest: Ok, put 5 pounds in the donation box and I shall pray to God to forgive you. The man comes out, puts five pounds in the box and walks out with his friend. Friend: So what happened? What did you get? Man: Three good leads How we dressed the first time I heard that one! My new French girlfriend is into water sports. Really?! Oui oui... Cannonfodder, Tackle, Shamal and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted October 14, 2023 Moderators Share Posted October 14, 2023 As suspected, both of these are scammers, gone now but not before one of them turned someone over 🤬 Shamal and Jedi_Master 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted October 15, 2023 Author Share Posted October 15, 2023 18 hours ago, Tackle said: As suspected, both of these are scammers, gone now but not before one of them turned someone over 🤬 Well spotted mate. What put you on to them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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