Tactical Pith Helmet

You don't know how much that needles my inner accuracy nerd... However I doubt it matters a fuck for airsoft!

I've just had a prostate examination. Got the thumbs up from the doctor.

Love the Meninblack. That scope sits silly high. Get a medium set of mounts (I'd guess). The more rainbow your trajectory, the closer you want bore to scope.

Much as I love my wife, I never know where I am with her. Lovely woman, terrible map reader.

My '11.1V ready' G&G ETU Mosfet equipped RIF shat itself the very first game. If you want an M4 swallow Combat Machine prices or buy CYMA. Classic Army do a nice M16 rif too. Double Eagle apparently do a few also...

Me. "I want to divorce my wife." Lawyer. "On what grounds?" Me. "She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar." Lawyer. "Is she an alcoholic or do you think she might be cheating?" Me. "No, she's looking for me."

As a child I had to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.

Few years ago a friend turned up at the pub with a 'new' lid. He'd found a kids plastic army helmet at the tip, sprayed it matt black and decided to wear it on his XS 840 Halco tuned bike as it, 'looked cool.' Back on topic... those dodgy helmets look in a similar league to those bloody ski helmets that someone put on here a while back.

Police are on the hunt for a vandal spraying things purple. They've warned the public not to approach, as he has violet tendencies.

Bloody nice bit of kit. No clue on price sorry.

I spent ages looking for a solution to this question. Ended up buying from the US vis Evil Bay. The boy then nabbed the bloody pouch. If I ever find it I'll put up a pick for you...

I've never taken an ugly woman to bed. I've woken up with a few mind....

Spinach and anal sex. If you were forced to have it as a child, you'll hate it as an adult...

Use what works where and how you play. My battle belt/webbing rig is a horrible mixed camo mutoid thing that works very well thanks. It cost less than £20 and serves well for skirmishes and post apocalyptic games. The solid no frills CYMAs and G&Gs do the same. Keep it functional and simple is the essential thing.

I was going to patent a method for reusing tea bags. But... Tetley have taken out a restraining order against me.

I've got a new job as a guillotine operator. I'll beheading there shortly.

Doctor 'You don't look too good. Do you smoke or drink alcohol?' Me: 'I drink it'.

Gave my wife a bucket on a rope for her birthday. It went down well.

Changed the ringtone on my alarm to the Hokey Cokey. Took me 20-minutes to get out of bed.

Money won't buy you happiness, but you do get more pleasant misery.

Bought some Oxo cubes -£9.70!!! Stock market has gone mad

How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one, but it takes a whole medical team to remove it.

Just got the sack as a gravedigger. They said they can never find where I've been working. I think they've lost the plot tbh.

Why does the Avon lady walk funny? Her lipstick.

As I get older I remember all of the people that I've lost. Maybe I should never have become a tour guide...