Shamal Posted November 2, 2022 Author Share Posted November 2, 2022 A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?" "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit. Cannonfodder, Tactical Pith Helmet and Skullchewer 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted November 2, 2022 Share Posted November 2, 2022 Your mums so ugly your dad wakes up with morning wouldn't. Tactical Pith Helmet, concretesnail and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 3, 2022 Share Posted November 3, 2022 I wasn't particularly close to my Aunt Sheila who died recently. It was lucky as she was hit by a bus. Shamal, Skullchewer and Cannonfodder 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Tackle Posted November 3, 2022 Moderators Share Posted November 3, 2022 Skullchewer, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 3, 2022 Author Share Posted November 3, 2022 On 03/11/2022 at 14:03, Tackle said: Expand Haha. I done that one about a year ago 🤣🤣 But good to hear it again 😉 Tackle and Tactical Pith Helmet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 5, 2022 Share Posted November 5, 2022 The Metropolitan Police have identified over two hundred hardened Albanian criminals living in London. Many have committed terrible crimes. A spokesman said that having discovered them, they planned to start recruiting them from next week. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaktariT Posted November 5, 2022 Share Posted November 5, 2022 A dyslexic man walked into a bra. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 5, 2022 Author Share Posted November 5, 2022 On 05/11/2022 at 00:50, Tactical Pith Helmet said: The Metropolitan Police have identified over two hundred hardened Albanian criminals living in London. Many have committed terrible crimes. A spokesman said that having discovered them, they planned to start recruiting them from next week. Expand Nice 👍 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 5, 2022 Author Share Posted November 5, 2022 Wanted: someone to brush their teeth with me, because 9/10 dentists say brushing alone won't help tooth decay. No weirdos Tactical Pith Helmet, Skullchewer and Tackle 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted November 6, 2022 Share Posted November 6, 2022 On 05/11/2022 at 21:32, Shamal said: No weirdos Expand Well that's 99% of people here off the list Shamal and Tackle 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 6, 2022 Author Share Posted November 6, 2022 On 06/11/2022 at 13:47, Cannonfodder said: Well that's 99% of people here off the list Expand Ain't that the truth 🤣 Tackle and Cannonfodder 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Waco Kid Posted November 6, 2022 Share Posted November 6, 2022 Wifle - a spouse with a hair trigger, best engaged from hard cover. Shamal, concretesnail and Tactical Pith Helmet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 6, 2022 Author Share Posted November 6, 2022 On 06/11/2022 at 18:13, The Waco Kid said: Wifle - a spouse with a hair trigger, best engaged from hard cover. Expand I've got one! Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 Just watched the film 'Aluminium Man.' It's a bit like Iron Man. He foils all of the baddies plans. Skullchewer and Shamal 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 7, 2022 Share Posted November 7, 2022 Just went into the kitchen. The bread was reading John-Paul Satre, the beans were discussing ontology with the spuds. The pasta was reciting Mallarme poems. I think they're all complex carbs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 8, 2022 Share Posted November 8, 2022 We had random drug testing at work today. I liked the LSD best. Tackle, Skullchewer and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 8, 2022 Author Share Posted November 8, 2022 Something has been playing on my mind recently. When I opened a can of evaporated milk it was still all there so I opened a can of condensed milk but it was the same size as the can🤔 I'm not trying to milk this btw. Skullchewer, The Waco Kid, Tackle and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted November 9, 2022 Share Posted November 9, 2022 On 08/11/2022 at 18:49, Tactical Pith Helmet said: We had random drug testing at work today. I liked the LSD best. Expand Giggled far too much at this. Tactical Pith Helmet and Tackle 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 9, 2022 Share Posted November 9, 2022 I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in a stack of tyres and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears. Shamal 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 9, 2022 Author Share Posted November 9, 2022 On 09/11/2022 at 18:04, Tactical Pith Helmet said: I had a happy childhood. My dad used to put me in a stack of tyres and roll me down a hill. They were Goodyears. Expand 🤦 I had my leg X-rayed yesterday the doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'. I said: 'Inch-high knees?' He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高 Tactical Pith Helmet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tactical Pith Helmet Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 I'm certain someone's tampering with my anti-paranoia medication. Skullchewer, Shamal and EDcase 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 11, 2022 Author Share Posted November 11, 2022 I thought I’d do something different today. So I bought an alcoholic ginger beer. He was not pleased Skullchewer, EDcase, The Waco Kid and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skullchewer Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 Breaking news! Man shot 200 times with an upholstery gun. Surgeons say he's fully recovered. EDcase, Tactical Pith Helmet and Shamal 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cannonfodder Posted November 11, 2022 Share Posted November 11, 2022 My son says he wants a cat for Christmas. Normally I do turkey but if it makes him happy I'll give it a go EDcase, Tactical Pith Helmet, The Waco Kid and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamal Posted November 11, 2022 Author Share Posted November 11, 2022 On 11/11/2022 at 16:00, Cannonfodder said: My son says he wants a cat for Christmas. Normally I do turkey but if it makes him happy I'll give it a go Expand Like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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