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Tell Us a Gag. Please!


Shamal
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
"I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.

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I wasn't particularly close to my Aunt Sheila who died recently.

 

It was lucky as she was hit by a bus.  

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3 hours ago, Tackle said:

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Haha. I done that one about a year ago 🤣🤣

But good to hear it again 😉

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The Metropolitan Police have identified over two hundred hardened Albanian criminals living in London.  Many have committed terrible crimes.

 

A spokesman said that having discovered them, they planned to start recruiting them from next week.

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8 hours ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said:

The Metropolitan Police have identified over two hundred hardened Albanian criminals living in London.  Many have committed terrible crimes.

 

A spokesman said that having discovered them, they planned to start recruiting them from next week.

Nice 👍

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Wanted: someone to brush their teeth with me, because 9/10 dentists say brushing alone won't help tooth decay.
No weirdos

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2 minutes ago, Cannonfodder said:

Well that's 99% of people here off the list

Ain't that the truth 🤣

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2 hours ago, The Waco Kid said:

Wifle - a spouse with a hair trigger, best engaged from hard cover. 

I've got one! Lol

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Just watched the film 'Aluminium Man.'  It's a bit like Iron Man.  He foils all of the baddies plans.  

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Just went into the kitchen.  The bread was reading John-Paul Satre, the beans were discussing ontology with the spuds.  The pasta was reciting Mallarme poems.

 

I think they're all complex carbs.  

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We had random drug testing at work today. 

 

I liked the LSD best.  

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Something has been playing on my mind recently.

When I opened a can of evaporated milk it was still all there so I opened a can of condensed milk but it was the same size as the can🤔

I'm not trying to milk this btw.

 

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I had a happy childhood. 

 

My dad used to put me in a stack of tyres and roll me down a hill. 

 

They were Goodyears.  

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16 minutes ago, Tactical Pith Helmet said:

I had a happy childhood. 

 

My dad used to put me in a stack of tyres and roll me down a hill. 

 

They were Goodyears.  

🤦

I had my leg X-rayed yesterday the doctor said: 'Your patella measures 2.54cm'.
I said: 'Inch-high knees?'

He said: '您的髌骨是2.54厘米高

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I thought I’d do something different today.

So I bought an alcoholic ginger beer.

He was not pleased

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My son says he wants a cat for Christmas.

 

Normally I do turkey but if it makes him happy I'll give it a go 

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1 hour ago, Cannonfodder said:

My son says he wants a cat for Christmas.

 

Normally I do turkey but if it makes him happy I'll give it a go 

Like it.

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