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Tell Us a Gag. Please!


Shamal
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A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,

“I feel horrible;

I look old, fat, and ugly…

I really need you to pay me a compliment.”

The husband replies,

“Your eyesight’s damn near perfect

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My wife recently told me that as I'm a parent I need to make sacrifices.

 

But then she hit the roof when she came home and saw the giant pentagram on the kitchen table and what I had done to the cat.

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Nearly managed to marry my ex-wife, but she figured out that I was only after my money.  

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A guy walked into his friend’s office

He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

"Hey, what’s up with you?," he asked.

"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She’s hired a new secretary for me."

"Well, nothing wrong in that," he said, "Is she blonde or brunette?"

"Neither. He’s bald.

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