Shamal

I walked past the bookmakers this morning and saw a sign that said Open Sunday 11-4. I thought that’s worth a tenners bet considering they were open last Sunday and good odds too.🙂

Like it.👍

Ooer missus 😅

I went to B&Q yesterday for a length of 4×2(150×50). Salesman asked how long I wanted it? I said that I was rather hoping to keep it.

Burn him for his unholy transgressions lol

Oh yeah not the old camera batts died just as I wiped out a whole battalion! Lol. My wife is very good at sniping. She has been sniping at me for years lol. Regards

Doughnuts. Plenty of them and your hips will be like pillows...sorted 😉🙂 Regards

How the heck did you find that? Funny really cause yesterday It was mentioned about Mr Tackles penchant for feathers 🤣🤣🤣 Regards

In my final gcse exams I got all 'A's....Away,Atrocious,Abysmal and Absolute crap! 🤭

Haha. Well my grandad was in the war and had a good collection of German memorabilia. When I was seven I asked if I could see his German helmet. "Yeah it's in the loft behind the tank" My eyes widened "you got a fucking tank!??" 😉

Haha. Well I got banned for pissing in the swinning baths. "Everybody does it" I complained to the attendant. "Not from the top diving board they don't!" he replied. Regards

It' been a very strange day. First I found a hat full of money, then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar! 🎸 Mad or what 😀

Good call on that bud. Just what I need. Thanks 👍 Regards

Yeah but you will bring it back won't you? 😉

Nice bit of hand on hip defiance going on there fella 😉 Regards

There was a documentary about kids with weird names that I watched with keen interest. And Keen Interest said to me, "Dad……." Regards

Hey @SkullchewerI can combine two of your gags...... I actually have a twelve inch penis......but I don't use it as a rule. Regards

Doh!! Lol The local secondary school has announced that it is changing its academy status. Going forward it will be part of the IKEA academy. Standards of teaching will definitely improve, but assembly will now take much longer. Regards

Hi @chrisd88and welcome to the lonely hear....no wrong one. Welcome to the airsoft asylum 👋 Yeah it can be a bit daunting for first couple of games but you can be sure you won't be alone in being the new boy. Once you have found a club(playairsoft.uk will help you there),read up on their rules and stuff so you will be a bit prepared,give them a call and book a slot. You will find that most folk there will be only to willing to help you out with info. Tag along and follow the lead of someone who looks like they know what they are doing lol. Everyone starts somewhere👍 Make sure you get some good quality eye protection,sturdy boots and try to cover 99% of your skin! You can get a lot of good advice and tips from afuks(oops that sounds bad)very own @GAMBLE.find him on the tube thing. There may well be some guys from your neck of the woods on here. We get everywhere lol. Good luck,listen to briefings,call your hits and above all enjoy 😉 Regards

Hehe.

Mine took about a month to be delivered. Chill out,have a fag and a drink and be patient. Good things come to those who wait. 👍

The cheapest you will get night vision is from tesco. A big bag of carrots. 😆 But as @EDcasesays its not cheap. A company called fox do night vision goggles for around £150 They do work after a fashion but not wonderful and they show two red circles when the ir is on which is a giveaway lol. Regards

Just heard that our Residents Association are having a meeting about some weirdo who lives on our road 🤔 My invitation got lost probably that'll be what's happened. 🤔 regards

Yeah know what you mean. My memory is akin to a goldfish. 😄