Tactical Pith Helmet

Not sure that you'll get green material using green dye on tan shades.

Bloody great German shepherd crapped on my lawn again this morning. To make matters worse his dog did a shit too.

OP Paramount at Ultimate Wargames Kent. Basic theme was UN Inspectors/arms dealers/FSB/US TF/Aid Groups/hapless civvies/crazed jihadis, somewhere in the middle-east. As one can imagine, the field was confused and confusing. Alliances were formed, broken and formed with suspicion again. Foes became friends and deals with opposing sides were done. The fluidity of play was amazing. Day one, we awoke covered in dust having dossed down in the village. Sleeping bags were rolled up and rifs hidden as the US TF entered and searched the compound in two jeeps. Various villagers and sleeper jihadis crowded around and played havoc with the operation as the aid workers played nursemaid and intermediary. With instructions to delay the TF, the keys to their Landy were nicked, as was a dopey players rif. When they went to pull out (spare keys were found), some silly sod played wounded in the road and delayed them some more. Really the whole thing was hilarious. Great airsoft vibe without a shot fired. The immersion was fantastic. As we had arrived and been assigned straight to our quarters, no one knew who was playing other than our own team members. Meeting up in game mode really worked. Playing terror faction was great as the village construction meant free fruit and coffee, chilling with friends and a few halal beers. The game developed with each faction having its own agenda and pursuing it with vigour. Objectives were found and searched for and various items assembled. By the late afternoon , shots were fired and the arms dealers (I think) and TF were actively at each other. The confusion was palpable and info was eagerly devoured. Various tasks were assigned and attempted. Missile systems were traded, stolen and hidden. Teams set up meetings, ambushed each other and worked together. Ad hoc fire teams were formed among the locals and the village defended. Vehicles probed the perimeter as did drones and spies. Updates became essential. By nightfall everyone was confused and tired, happy and ready for a ceasefire. Drinks were drunk and food cooked. By midnight most were in bedrolls and snoring. Sunday was started with absolute wonder at who had achieved what, who had reached their objectives and who had not. The game became 100% hot with each faction fighting the next. We probed the woods and structures for objectives, fought and made shaky alliances anew. At one point, we ambushed the arms dealers, nicked the FSB's missiles and launched a false attack on the TF. I don't know or care who won, but it was immense fun. At close of play there were conspicuously fewer players and a sense of complete confusion as to who had won. Personally I enjoyed myself immensely. It is somewhat liberating to throw oneself about in fancy dress with a toy gun. In conclusion, the roleplay based roles were done to perfection, the TF/FSB players were superb, they really did have some skills. The terror cell were a blast to play with. The UN/Aid roles were played with much patience and skill. In conclusion, it was well worth the three hour drive and cost. Moans: I experienced one incident of bad hit taking in 20+ hours. I realised that I had been hit as I pulled out of an ambush. I absent-mindedly rubbed a sore forearm as I pulled out from my position only to realise too late that I had been hit. TBF with my nerve damage and the insect bites from the previous weeks camping, the odd strange pain is hardly unknown. I gave myself a 15 min KIA as penance and comforted myself that I must have traded with the last chap that I shot before disappearing. Some of the ambushes could have been better coordinated. If important to the story/plotline these could have been better timed, but so could about 98% of life, so no biggy. Given the complexity of things, bringing them off at all was a minor miracle. Each side lacked snipers. Not really noticed in game but realised later. Given the layout, only one half of the game map would have had limited benefit anyhow. That really is it for negatives. I did spot a women player. She was well geared up and well into the scenario, thwacking various foes from advantageous points and having a ball. If we got a better gender balance at this type of event, we'd all benefit. The immersion, gameplay and fun were outstanding. Good use of technology and vehicles. sides were well balanced and arranged, objectives were well planned and coordinated due to the way the game was planned to unfold. In all I had a great weekend, played myself ragged, had a catch up with mates and drove home knackered. I'll do next year for sure. I am certainly up for the next @SierraBravo event.

Apparently cigarettes can harm children. You're supposed to use an ashtray.

Saw this the other day. The comments were hilarious.

A degrease and relube for the gearbox and a check of all the seals tends to be in order with any machinary that's been stored for a length of time.

People are amazed at the tattoo I got on my hols in Torremolinos. No one expects the Spanish ink precision.

DPM is cheap and works well in the environment that it was designed for. Personally I like berezka for the summer and Dutch DPM for the rest of the year. You can pick up a berezka mesh oversuit for about £40 a set. Have a think what type of games that you want to play too. For skirmishing it's what type of cover your home site has. For more involved games, there's no point in buying atacs of you fancy playing cold war for example. If you want webbing to match, then flecktarn is a good choice. The camo works well and the webbing is easily configured and cheap as the clothing. Being an obsessed fucking idiot avid collector, I've ended up with loads of camo. I usually select whatever is the least weighty loadout that I can get away with. You could do worse than a set of British lightweights. Trousers for less than a tenner and shirts for about seven quid. Knock-off ANA chest rig in o/d and you're away for less than forty quid. Fine if you actually play and don't just skulk about the game zone.

I call my grandfather Spiderman. He can't get out of the bath on his own...

I cared for my Uncle Bob until the end. I'll always remember his last words. 'For fuck's sake those were the wrong pills.'

My extra sensitive toothpaste gets upset if I use another brand...

Foliage stops BBs. In woodland a 30 round mag is useless. Having said that, I'm doing a real cap battlesim next weekend...

The film is the anti fog coating. It is hydrophobic, so it floats when you apply too much water. I have had several pairs of mega tough Uvex goggles ruined by people cleaning them or leaving them face down in the rain. 100%. Whatever the stated test however, accidents happen in all manufacturing processes. It is simply good practice to test each pair of eye pro, whatever the make/cost/certification. I've tested silly damaged Uvex goggles with everything up to a 40 Mike at point blank. I'd like to blame the k and m keys being close together, but I actually remember typing that on purpose!! FFS, senility gallops ever closer...

EN166 (6MM steel BB at 450km/s IIRC)

My new thesaurus is terrible and terrible.

Lizz Truss wants to outlaw wolf whistling. Yet another politician making laws about things they have no personal experience of...

Bloody millleniels, walking around as if they rent the place.

The sizing for these is proprietary or nominal at best. Mixing makes is extremely hit and miss.

Vehicles and night vision are good fun used well too. I think that the best but worst used tech is the humble radio. Good coms discipline is golden. As you say@truckinthumper, if it adds to the fun then it's good. I laughed like a fool when someone located me in the pitch dark and got a knife kill. Tech plus skill is nice to experience; even as the loser!

I have played with a team member who uses a drone. It was useful to see where to lob 'nades. Tech etc can add to the fun of playing but only if used with imagination. As a pure gimmick it is no good at all.

Went to an abstract gallery today. What a load of Pollocks...

I rarely wear anything but mesh, but I did try a pair of Dickies amber lensed dual pane goggles a few games ago. Light as specs and minimal fog.

Indeed. A group effort, a veritable orgy of fluid theft. The filthy swine.

I don't take anything in the newspaper seriously, except for fish and chips. And even that I take with a pinch of salt.

Ever watched this? It's brilliant.