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Shamal

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Everything posted by Shamal

  1. Shamal

    In Glastonbury for our mini break.

    Three days of doing nothing.

    No guns no drones no work just beer and chilling and getting in the zone for nae 🙂

  2. Shamal
    An elderly couple, Mary and Declan, live in Cork. Declan always wanted a pair of authentic riding boots. So seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife ‘Notice anything different about me?’ Mary looks him over, ‘Nope.’ Frustrated, Declan storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time ‘Notice anything different NOW?’ Mary looks up and says, ‘Declan , what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.’ Furious, Declan yells, AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARY? ‘Nope’ she replies. ‘IT’S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!!’ Declan yells. To which Mary replies…”Shoulda bought a hat, Declan.Shoulda bought a hat".
  3. Shamal
    I've lost my job as a dermatologist. They just handed me my E45.
  4. Shamal
    A man ran home from work, pulled his wife into the bedroom, threw her on the bed, and pulled the blankets over them. She was shocked - he hadn't been like this for 20 years. Then her husband said: "Look! My new watch glows in the dark"
  5. Shamal
    Oh yes your bank account will suffer😂 It's worth it though 👍 Regards
  6. Shamal
    Hi Roy and welcome aboard.👍 Have you joined a club and played your three games? Only ask as I'm wondering how you got rifs. It's a nice looking gat though.🙂 Regards
  7. Shamal
    Groan lol😉 I used an electrician recently who only gave a price for wiring up live and neutral. It was ok though, because he didn’t cost the earth. (Yes I know it's dangerous. Earth should always be connected to the red one...or is it black one🤔)
  8. Shamal
    If in doubt...give a shout👍 So you may have to take a walk to your respawn or dead zone or even take yourself out of play for 5mins. It's not the end of the world. But consider that the sniper who hit you from a distance saw the hit even if it had the impact of a tap on the shoulder. Don't be the one that the marshalls have a quiet word with. 🙂 Regards
  9. Shamal

    Well I really can't work women out.

    Mrs Shamal is on a ten day cruise of the med.

    So I hatched a plot to send her a video of her two most loved furry friends. Nonky the tiger and cheeser the mouse. She is so protective about them that it's unreal.

    With the help of @EDcasea video was produced that showed them both hanging from my drone at the local cricket club although they have never left the house.( Excellent production from Ed.) 

    I sent her the video today thinking that she would go ballistic( imagine a five foot stick of tnt in the heat of a Turkish bazaar)

    Her reaction? "Ahh Sweet"🤔

    Unbelievable!

    I asked her how many cocktails she had had. No reply.

    I may be on some sort of hit list for when she returns.

    If you don't hear from me then you know the reason why!😂

     

    Regards 

     

    1. Skara

      Skara

      This may be a severe case of "fuck about and find out" coming to you mate, it was a pleasure knowing you :P

    2. Adolf Hamster

      Adolf Hamster

      n6f7gi6.thumb.jpg.e3ab7bebdd7e7b3559472218e8906092.jpg

    3. L3wisD

      L3wisD

      My wife once said that Sex on holiday was always better.

      ... it was possibly the worst postcard I've ever received.

  10. Shamal
    🤦😉
  11. Shamal
    Congrats dude 🙂 Can't think of a more deserving bloke and as you are covering my neck of the woods even better 👍 Mr tackle would vote for anything with legs. 😉😂 Only joking. But thanks for working for the future of this crazy pastime.🙂 Regards
  12. Shamal
    It's good just so long as he doesn't sing it!😉
  13. Shamal
    I paid a carpenter to make me a double bed, but the con man has only gone and done a bunk. It’s literally one thing on top of another.
  14. Shamal

    It was a tough choice and I battled long and hard,I tossed and turned and lost sleep. I was pulled every which way.

    Gun or Drone, Gun or Drone??

    Arrrrgh.....

    Drone won.

    Sorry guys 😔

     

    Roll on some good weather 🙂

     

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Skara

      Skara

      Which drone?

    3. Shamal

      Shamal

      It's a hubsan zino mini pro.

      Got the Mavic air but this one claims 40mins flight time. In practice it's probably about 30 mins though.

    4. ak2m4

      ak2m4

      @Rogerborg need one of those for the new ULEZ cameras going up in outer London 🙂

  15. Shamal
    My family have all gone onto a fruit only diet. I'm fed up with it. The fridge and the cupboards are full of it. It's enough to make a mango crazy!
  16. Shamal

    Just got home from having my colonoscopy.

    Fuck me!! Well he did,for forty soding minutes.

    I wasn't sure if I was coming or bloody going! 😂😂

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Shamal

      Shamal

      Haha. Yeah ok thanks.

      No sign of the dreaded big c.

      Had five polyps cut away and they will be sent for biopsy but the sodomist said they look ok 👍😂

    3. Skullchewer

      Skullchewer

      Glad to hear it. That's where my thoughts went.
      To the big c I mean, not to your arsehole.
      Well....

    4. rj1986

      rj1986

      Was his voice muffled at any point?

  17. Shamal
    I was always very shy as a young man, so my friend advised carrying a pebble in my pocket and squeezing it whenever the shyness took me. Did it work you are wondering. Well I did feel a little boulder. 🤦
  18. Shamal
    My sister wasn't too pleased with the locket i bought her for her birthday. She'll be thankful when her blocked nose clears up though.
  19. Shamal
    Nice Swiss arms bag thingy though 😉
  20. Shamal
    I've just seen a holiday advert on the TV "Book by 31st July and your children go free". I know the holiday industry's having a tough time, but I hardly think kidnapping kids and making televised demands like that is the way forward.
  21. Shamal
    I'm not saying my eyes are bad but I need glasses for sleeping😎
  22. Shamal

    Hi guys.

    A shout out for help from anyone who is into computers and video editing.

     

    Ok the plot is this.....

    My wife is off on a cruise on the 5th August and while she is gone I have custody of her beloved fluffy tiger and mouse.

    Still with me?

    So what I want to do is send her a video of tiger and mouse suspended from my drone twenty meters above local cricket ground. This will freak her out and may mean a night or two in the spare room or at worse a&e.

    However I'm prepared to risk it 😂

     

    The problem is that I lack the technical know-how to do this.

     

    If I were to take video of drone and pictures of tiger (nonky) and cheeser (mouse) would anyone be able to put them together in a believable video that I can send while she is in Turkey?

     

    Regards🤞

     

     

     

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Shamal

      Shamal

      Haha.

       

      I know what you mean.

      I can't understand how she can get so attached to a stuffed toy

      And she can't understand how I can get so attached to a m92 lol.

       

      I've got the Mavic air. Great bit of kit but I'm after a hubsan zino mini pro.

    3. Dan Robinson

      Dan Robinson

      i've one of those Airs too.  Just wish I had the time to fly them.  Have a couple of the old basic Hubsans too.

       

      Shame Drones are  banned at most sites otherwise we could bomb the F out of the opposition.

    4. Shamal

      Shamal

      Yeah aerial 🚡 bombardment. It will happen lol.

       

      I'm taking mine to the national Airsoft event. Not to fly over game zones but around the camping areas.

  23. Shamal
    How about axe throwing or rage room?
  24. Shamal
    Why does the camping worry you? I'm more a hotel person but a couple of nights under canvas is ok really.🙂
  25. Shamal
    Warning, never mix your metaphors. You could end up staring down the barrel of a double edged sword.
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