Shamal

It's cause I'm hungry 😂😂

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door "Is your dad or mum home?" said the farmer. "No, they went to town." "How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" "No, he went with Mum and Dad." The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other,and mumbling to himself. "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message." "Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant". The boy thought for a moment... "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges £500 for the bull and £50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard"

Hello and welcome to the money pit.🙂 Have a look at 'playairsoft.co.uk' that will list sites near you. No you don't need to buy any thing to start with but a pair of boots with ankle support and a good pair of ballistic rated goggles/glasses are a must have. Just search on t'internet for Airsoft eyprotection but make sure they have an ansi z87 +1 rating. You will have to contact your nearest site and book a game as a rental player and the site will provide you with a gun,ammo,face protection/mask they probably will have eye pro for sale but get your own to be on the safe side. Wear some old clothes but make sure your skin is covered. Enjoy but be prepared to spend lots lol Regards Hey I was already typing all that! 😉

Muppet 😂

I gave up bread to lose weight, but it didn't work out because I'm lack toast intolerant...

That'll be the pistol poltergeists. They are mostly active around Umarex guns. Get your local vicar to sprinkle holy oil on it and leave it in a drawer for a year or so 👍😉

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What??? Lol

Lol An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive European sports car. Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man. He yells, "Look what you did to my car! You're going to give me $10,000 right now or I'm going to beat you to a pulp!" "Oh my…" the old man said nervously. "I don't have that kind of money. Let me call my son.” he said with hope. “He trains dolphins and he will know what to do." "Dolphins!" the other driver huffed, while rolling his eyes. The old man pulled out his phone, dialed his son, and just as his son answered, the irate man snatched the phone away from the old man. "So, YOU'RE a dolphin trainer, huh?” The irate man yelled, “Well, your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need TEN GRAND right now, or I'm going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp!" "I'll be there in 10 minutes." says the voice calmly on the other end. Exactly 10 minutes later, a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road. When he finished, he walked over to his father and said, "For the last time dad, I train Seals… Navy Seals. NOT dolphins!”

Haha. It could put out 100 rps and I still wouldn't hit anybody☹️ lol

Yes I agree it's not feasible with my setup. I think the chrono is wrong. I do remember couple of years ago it was around 30 rps.

Hi guys. Just finished putting amoeba back together after putting ball bearing piston head on and new tappet plate and air nozzle. Did a bit of shimming while I was in there along with some slippery goo. Cut off old,broken motor connectors and put new ones on. It's running 18:1 gears and has a m100 spring. Anyway put it on the chrono and it's putting out between 330 and 340 which I'm pleased with. Switched to full and a two second pull returned a reading of 3333 which according to my calculator is 55.55 rps. Is this even possible?? or is my chrono talking bollocks? Tried it again and same reading. It does sound fast but there again it always has.

A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. He knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying, "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says, "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive.

You're right. It's great to have a bit of back and forth in a light hearted way 👍

Honestly I do despair of you lot 😂

Haha I know what you mean. I don't like straps and webbing flopping about. Before a game I have a dress up night and get Mrs Shamal to cast a look and point out any dangly bits. My stepson,on game day, is continually faffing about with his rig and drop leg and it drives me feckin bonkers lol.

Something I cannot abide. I like to push the mag release and for the mag to drop out. A little bit of rattle don't matter,hell when I move everything rattles. Cut the lug off 😂

I had a lovely date last night. Tomorrow I'm going to have a fig.

A teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom? 'Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?' Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?' Johnny said 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.' The teacher fainted

"Duck, you sucker!" James Coburn a fistful of dynamite. Great film

That's not too shabby an idea bud 👍 Now I'm armed with a few pointers, I will talk to my site again and if they are ok I shall get him to join up.🙂

Hi and thanks for your input 🙂 Well yeah I guess his deafness is the issue really. If he was hearing there would be no issue. Yes he is a grown man and able to make his own decisions but you have to understand that from a kid he has had to grow and learn in a different world,a silent world, relying on certain people to teach him a special language. He lives and works in a deaf community so pretty much everyone talks the same language and he is in his comfort zone, obviously he does have contact with hearing people who do not sign but it's difficult for him as it is for me to communicate with him. I don't think any of the posts have been patronising and I don't think he would either. There have been some great replies with things I hadn't thought of which was the purpose of the thread. I shall take every one's advice and ideas on board and will speak to my site again and put some of your suggestions forward🙂 Thanks guys 👍 Regards Good idea. Thanks You are spot on.... Ask him what he needs......see I'm too busy thinking about myself and how I will handle it. Yeah good call.

Just thought I would put this out there. There has been a recent thread touching on disabled players. I didn't want to hijack or sidetrack it so have started a new topic. My sisters son,my nephew,is 34 now and he knows I play guns and he has seen my collection and gear and has shown an interest. A while ago he asked me,through his mum, if he would be able to come along to a game day. I say 'through his mum' because he has been profoundly deaf since birth and can only communicate by sign language. I have a limited sign vocabulary,mostly swear words,so I find it hard to talk to him if my sis is not with him. My sister is not happy about him doing it but I said I would ask my site what they thought about him attending a game. They say that their main concern is that he wouldn't be able to hear the safety briefing or site rules or be aware of what's happening around him.They say it may be possible if someone could sign the briefing for him but that they couldn't be completely sure that he was being given the correct interpretation. They also say that insurance cover may be an issue. I haven't told him yet what they have said but it doesn't look very promising. I do understand where they are coming from and the difficulties involved. He would have to keep watching me for instructions and I would have to keep looking at him and trying to understand what he is signing and not understanding him 🤔 It's a hard one cause I think he really wants to do it.☹️ Anyway what's the collective thoughts on above please 👍 Regards

Money saving tip : Instead of buying a coffin just order a pen from Amazon and use the box it comes in!