Finius

Me Beats done broke. And I've just downloaded a song I NEED to listen to through awesome headphones...Dammit.

AFUK, you dont seem very happy atm. I seem to be posting here the most. Paid today, a HUGE amount. £200 more than hoped. First Skirmish of the year next weekend...I'm so excited I've already prepped and packed my kit...

The loadout which I am designing thoroughly justifies living off 9p noodles for any amount of time. GZ Weekender won't know what's hit it...

The Airsoft Arms Fair is FIVE days before my 21st Birthday. By the end of February, I will have £0 major outgoing debt and will be earning approximately £500 per month that I don't need. Meaning, that with March, April and May's paydays falling before the arms fair, plus it being nearly my birthday and being just two weeks after my most substantial student loan payment (for my shortest term)...I expect to buy something nice. Possibly a small WMD. You cannot comprehend the lovely lovely happy joy within me right now; last year I worked the AAF and got half an hour at the end of the last day to wander round with £70.

Seriously. Masturbation jokes? This is a classy, upstanding forum, we are a shining beacon of morality on an otherwise dark and garish internet. Plus I mean, ritual sacrifice really works for me when it comes to finding wenches. Also, I'm ambidextrous, so sometimes I use my left

Sudden realisation I've neglected photography so long that I might have crippled my talent for it. Very angry at myself right now. Also, my bed fell apart. Damn my many wenches for liking it that little bit too rough.

Literally filled my laptop and external hard drives. Now fooked. 1.8TB of films, tv and music...CBA to buy another external.

Just had the single yummiest jacket potato ever.

I'm slowly getting the feeling that airsoft weaponsmithry isn't for you Ed

I'm happy because I'm just so damn good.

It depends. I keep a supply of fresh veg, pellet food and freeze-dried locusts/crickets in the cupboard/freezer all the time, but I like to give him a challenge now and a again so I buy a box of live locusts of whatever size, take him out his viv, put them in, give them half an hour to hide and then let him loose. Despite my efforts to make it into an elaborate game of hide and seek, he usually demolishes them pretty quickly...

The local reptile shop?

Started my health kick properly today. It's ridiculous how much difference I'm feeling within twelve hours. It's probably less about supplements/multivitamins and the effects of eating healthily, especially this soon, and it's mostly therefore placebo effect and attitude, but it's actually awesome either way. For the first time in a long time I've been up since 7am, on seven hours sleep and don't feel remotely droopy by lunchtime. I've got tons of energy, feel very motivated and my usual bodily "niggles" seem to be keeping themselves quiet at least for now. Even my lizard looks happier today, and he's only had a few locusts...

Breakfast is THE meal, everyone knows, breakfast, if you're gonna eat one meal, it should be that one, even breakfast knows it and it's only an inanimate concept. Unfortunately, now that breakfast knows its role in the world, it also knows it can rock up whenever the hell it wants, so if you wanna eat Weetos at lunchtime and call it breakfast, you damned well do it.

Maybe if I sacrifice someone with a really high IQ, I could ask Satan to provide me a book with the power of infinite mental improvement. Then I'd just be able to run around slapping people in the face with the book to make them smarter. I'd probably get a medal AND a million girls or something...

If it makes you feel better, I just ate half a cow for breakfast. No word of a lie, straight up half a cow. It made mooing noises at me and everything. 24oz topside beef steak (it was a small, two kilo cow). Cooked to perfection with a hickory glaze. Meant to be eating healthy stuff like weatabix, with sweetener and skimmed milk, but eating pure cow is just a lot more manly. For those of you who don't know how to cook steak, since I'm a chef, I will enlighten you. 1. Find cow. 2. Spray a thick coating of hickory bbq glaze over cow. 3. Hold lighter under cow for approximately 10 seconds. 4. Eat cow. There is no excuse for eating "well done" steak. That is not the point of steak. Steak is a manly food, for manly men and should bleed like a headwound when you start chewing on it. Omnomnomnom. What did you have for breakfast AFUK?

Blatantly going to have to try this. Also pleased that you think I'm just that funny

No Nick, I only have my sacrificing knife, it's for sacrificing thing...Admittedly, some people find ritual satanic sacrifice a bit intimidating, but I like to think they're just lacking in education...

Wut? Try and make sense love It's hard to explain xD

Quite the opposite. Finius got exactly what he hoped for. However, the issue is this, I had decided what I was hoping for whilst under the influence of half a bottle of whisky, a bottle of gin, several shots and several glasses of something (once I get quite drunk, I tend to walk up to the bar and just tell them to surprise me with anything alcoholic). In doing so, I have effectively kaiboshed my hopes of getting where I wanted to be when I was sober. HOWEVER. It will soon be lambing season, and we all know what that means! Time to find my sacrificing knife!

Still angry at myself for my antics on New Years Eve

Today I'm angry because I'm an idiot. Rule 1 of having a successful work life: Don't EVER try it on with co-workers, even when you're seeing each other socially. Rule 2: The above is of more importance especially if you cannot locate any goats to sacrifice.

If you can operate your gear with fingers on the gloves, try not to worry about it... Today I'm happy because all the wenches be up in my fizzle.

Has anyone noticed that by postcount and views, AFUK is roughly twice as angry as it is happy. We need therapy.

How much for the BAR?