Finius

SVD rail-mount, reflex dot sight, silencer, ambi mag release, tactical mag well. The arms fair was good to me!

Cheap, decent or secondhand G36 mags are like unicorn poo, don't be mad at me, be mad at the forces of nature that made it so hard for me to find them in the first place

Just bought lots of G36 mags

DPM trousers. Exciting, I know.

It's because I make a point of being exceptionally noisy whenever I'm around - best way to make sure you're missed I got my patch btw Dev! It's proudly residing next to the union jack patches on my rig!

Glad I was missed

BOOM. That's right AFUK, I can confirm that I am alive. I know, I know, wipe away those tears of joy. Today I'm happy because Yodel finally managed to stop being retarded failures of genetic combination and delivered my laptop, which means I can actually engage with the world again (let's be honest, going outside, doing things in person, those methods are outdated and frankly barbaric). Hello.

Pretty sure I've just traumatised Ed for life by telling him about my willy on facebook. This makes me very happy.

I'm with one of Bernard Matthews' subsidiary companies! I'm not really sure why we're bale leading since we're only using about a quarter of what we're taking off the fields, but still!

Oddly enough though, our Massey is REALLY good, we've had it five years and not had an issue with it, we've only got the one, the rest are all John Deere and they're terrible D: The main drivers at work at the moment are bale leading and of the nine Deere's we've got, around half have been out of service for a while at least once during the past three weeks. The only issue with the Massey is it needs filling up daily.

And, magically, after you post this, here I am I spent twenty minutes driving a Massey Ferguson tractor the other day, does that count? Edit: Also, before everyone gets excited, despite showing up when magic lamps are rubbed, I only very rarely grant wishes...

Finally got real internet en mi casa. Very happy man!

My motherf**king printer. What the hell. Seriously guy. We've been here before. So today I'm trying to print my resit coursework off so it can be posted to University tomorrow, to do this, I need to print the work and a coversheet, but the printer...The printer has other plans... So I plug the infernal device in and it lights up like some sort of diabolically warped christmas tree, it roars at me with its whirring doodads and flopsits and readies itself for its vile onslaught of paper-spewing death. I insert the USB lead into it, and then, into my computer, the printer watches me, its gaze piercing my soul, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My computer makes that stupid beep that they usually do when you plug in a USB, we're ready. The printer hasn't spontaneously combusted in an atomic rage...yet, this is good, today is a good day. I open the files I need to print and send the first one to the printer. Miraculously, the printer jumps to life, its soul crushing noise ricocheting off the walls of my already fragile brain (man-flu, whaduuuuuup). I wait, excited but anxious, what if it runs out of ink, what if the paper jams? It finishes printing my coursework... I walk over to the now silent beast and pick up the fresh, crisp papers, I turn them over so I can see their glorious print, but what is this? Terms and conditions? Booking reference? The printer, in its evil and twisted savagery has printed a train-schedule that I tried to print unsuccessfully three weeks ago, I stand there, shocked, this isn't just normal printer evil, this is the grandaddy of monstrosity; most printers are simply content to piss me off by not printing at all, but this printer, like some sort of psychopathic mastermind built my hopes and dreams to a peak upon which I could finally bask in the radiance and warmth of the immensely satisfying pleasure of being able to print things, and then, mercilessly tore my dreams apart, raking its sharp talons through every ounce of hope that I had for a brighter, printable future. I return to my computer, perhaps this is my fault, am I being too hard on my printer? I check the print queue, I see my document there "waiting", I click restart to try and kick some life into this insane chain of hope and disappointment, the printer whirrs for a second and my heart skips a beat, could it REALLY be that easy? Of course it couldn't, and anyone who says it could be is a f**king liar. The printer ceases its cacaphony and my computer makes the USB beeping noise again; "USB Device not recognised" I see in the corner of the screen, then, my vision is assaulted by the HP Error Desk "Communication failure"... I passed out from overwhelming anger and inner hatred for all things printer related, and now, having come-to, I bring you my story. TL;DR? Printers f**king suck.

I am presently working on concept boards for several photoshoots, their titles are as follows: -Sexy Steam Punk -Girls and Guns of Airsoft Calendar -Fine Art Exploration of Bondage -Candyland (this one involves two girls and lots of colourful sugary stuff) -Nude with hats -Dominatrix So err...Yeah, watch this space

Ed's life = ruined Cheers wolf!

Plus they're worth about the same as a good-quality human kidney...

BOOM. Ten minutes away from another underwear shoot, this is the girl for front!

My boss would love that sorta thing...He's into ladyboys and allsorts (Not even joking), so that was a bad example But no worries! If anything thats a good reminder to get my supporter membership sorted

If it helps at all, that is probably one of the most tame pictures there is and I mean by a long way in some cases. They'll be up somewhere public soon I imagine

I suppose since you've all been so well behaved, you can maybe see ONE picture before they're put up on my flickr I've blurred out all identifying marks and all naughty things which might be on show. *Dev, if this still counts as naughty, I'm sorry, feel free to take it down but being as I've censored it I thought it'd be fine

First proper nude shoot done It went AWESOME. It's a bit weird seeing womanparts close enough to touch and not being allowed to touch, but I still rocked it!

I'm afraid they're closed shoots, I might have some of the photos available for viewing on my facebook or flickr though

So I haven't been about much, been keeping myself very busy and I thought I'd bring you all an update on why Finius is awesomely happy today. -VAT registration forms for my photography company have gone off. -Two new lenses for my camera, both very expensive and finally completing the kit. -Entire new studio kit; backdrops, lights, the works. -I've booked weddings in December, June and August 2013 and August 2014, all very well paid (and I'm still undercutting all the competition). -I've sold some prints to a Finlandian eco-awareness consultancy firm. -I've sold some prints to a hospital in Canada. Upcoming shoots for Hubert to be jealous of -Friday/Saturday, full erotic fine art/nude/underwear shoot with a local model. -Monday-Wednesday, full nude/underwear shoot with my model from Front. -Also booked but not dated five more shoots of varying degrees of nudity. New camera is also in the works. This week has been good to me.

How tiny is tiny?

I do indeed mean that most gentlemanly and proper of magazines