In the eyes of the army guys, we’re all “Stinking Walt Bastards”, after all we are running around with camo and toy guns pretending to shoot each other at the end of the day.
The early starts. It’s a Sunday, quite often I play organ for services at the church across the road, so that knocks out any chance of airsoft where the rules are always “Gates closed and locked 9am, no late admittance”, then they finish at 4. How about something starting at mid day and going on into the early evening instead? What’s the obsession with everyone getting up at ungodly hours?
The toilets, or lack thereof. Moreso, the state that other players leave portaloos in. By 10am I can’t walk into a portaloo without being ankle deep in piss and mud.
The mandatory 20 minute safety brief every damn time. Let us regulars sit and have a cup of tea or something.
The call of duty birthday party hoodied teenagers. They always come in groups of 4 or 5, never played before (and never play again), rock up in trainers and hoodies, ask to rent the “best” gun, then spend the day with god mode enabled over-killing everyone in sight, own team included. They’ll also ask things like “is it just this one map?” and “when I kill someone can I equip their weapon?”
The finders keepers. A rare but infuriating player, not unlike the CoD teenager, who assumes anything he sees is there for the taking and if he finds a pair of gloves, radio, magazine. grenade etc, thinks “oh that’ll be useful some time” and pockets it.
The mag dumper. “Can I try your gun” is a perfectly reasonable thing, we all like showing off and comparing gear, but there’s always one who’ll give your gun a try, and rather than rattle off 10 shots, dumps the whole damn mag and says bye bye to 120 of your premium precision BBs. Bonus douchebag points if he tries a tactical reload, dropping your brand new mid cap straight on the ground before spending 10 seconds fiddling with the fresh mag trying to get it out his pouch. Happened to me three times now.
Incompetent techs and money grabbing retailers. Look on a retailers website and find high but not unreasonable prices, go into the store and the prices are all higher. Then there’s the in-store techs who not only charge extortionate labour, but mark up all the parts that they’ve “had to order especially” and then mess up your gun anyway.
The bus lane cyclist - it’s the start of the game, you’ve formulated a plan, you have to rush to an objective before the other team can, you’re pumped. The whistle goes, and your route is blocked by some bloke walking 1mph taking up the entirety of the path.
The inconsiderate vaper - I hate being stuck in the briefing or safe zone next to some guy blowing vape smoke in my face.
And finally back to the early start theme, the guy you agreed to give a lift to but then isn’t ready and leaves you waiting outside the front of his house for 30 minutes, then at the end of the day you end up spending an hour scrubbing out mud from the leather and carpets because he didn’t have the courtesy to take his combat boots caked in mud off before getting back in your car.
On the upside, I love the community in general where we can all have a laugh and a moan about these things.
But the whole “wanna do milsim, join the army” thing is the most ridiculous of all of the above. That’s the same as saying “wanna have a sightseeing flight over London? Remortgage your house, spend £170,000 to train as an airline pilot, get a placement, you’ll have to start off short haul but after 6 years you should look for a long haul carrier, interviews and if you get the position, try and arrange your roster so you arrive at Heathrow on afternoons so on some days you can approach from the east and fly over London.” What an idiotic idea.