DanBow
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Tell Us a Gag. Please!
- Thread starter Shamal
- Start date
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
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Shamal
AF-UK patch owner
- Aug 2, 2020
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- Thread starter
- #1,303
Cops were called to a house because the wife of the house said she killed her husband. The cops asked the lady why she murdered her husband. She said, “I just finished mopping the floor and he walked on it!"
The cops called the Sergeant at the nick and told him what had happend and he asked if they had arrested her?
“No Sergeant,not yet,the floors still wet”
The cops called the Sergeant at the nick and told him what had happend and he asked if they had arrested her?
“No Sergeant,not yet,the floors still wet”
Last edited by a moderator:
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
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Don't let people put you down.
They told Beethoven that he'd never be a composer due to being deaf.
Did he listen?
They told Beethoven that he'd never be a composer due to being deaf.
Did he listen?
AttackBunny
Members
- Jan 7, 2024
- 46
- 73
It’s said that musicians and artists can tell what note they moan in when they have sex.
Well I’m no singer but I know that R. Kelly moans in A Minor
Well I’m no singer but I know that R. Kelly moans in A Minor
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
It's a dog eat dog world out there.
Especially when you buy your pet food at Lidl.
Especially when you buy your pet food at Lidl.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
Prince Charles has been found to have an enlarged prostate.
Pure chance that it was discovered. Camilla was only looking for her phone.
Pure chance that it was discovered. Camilla was only looking for her phone.
Shamal
AF-UK patch owner
- Aug 2, 2020
- 2,830
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- Thread starter
- #1,310
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with a Native American medicine. man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.
The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked “How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2 3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked:
"What was the 1-2-3 for ?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling
participle
The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: '1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want."
The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked “How do I stop the medicine from working?"
"Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2 3!"
Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked:
"What was the 1-2-3 for ?"
And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling
participle
Last edited by a moderator:
AttackBunny
Members
- Jan 7, 2024
- 46
- 73
What’s got two I’s and smokes?
Pompeii
Pompeii
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
I've started singing with a group called The Blankets.
We're a covers band.
We're a covers band.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
The CEO of Boeing has said that anyone with a problem with one of his aircraft can take it up with him personally.
His door is always open.
His door is always open.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
The South Korean ban on dog meat won't work at all.
The trade will just go on underhound.
The trade will just go on underhound.
Cannonfodder
Members
- Aug 10, 2020
- 3,462
- 5,402
Sex in your 40's is interesting. You never know if it's an orgasm, a stroke or just cramp
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