Tell Us a Gag. Please!
- Thread starter Shamal
- Start date
gavinkempsell
AF-UK patch owner
- Mar 7, 2023
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Not forgetting, made my first batch of 2024 yesterday... the bridies are better IMO tho.
gavinkempsell
AF-UK patch owner
- Mar 7, 2023
- 1,205
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Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
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My wife just asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl.
I didn't even know it played cricket!
I didn't even know it played cricket!
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
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Most people have heard of Karl Marx, but fewer know of his sister, the pioneering runner Onya.
Tribute is still paid to her, and she is mentioned before each race!
Tribute is still paid to her, and she is mentioned before each race!
Zarrin
Members
- Jan 8, 2016
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An old Finnish joke about the Winter War:
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road, when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russians". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!" The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought... Then silence. Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men... it's a trap. There are two of them!"
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road, when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russians". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence. The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!" The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought... Then silence. Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men... it's a trap. There are two of them!"
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
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Leather is rated based on its texture. Cows with abundant water sources typically have softer hides, rated 'A'.
Hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are typically D-hide rated.
Hides from cows living in hot, dry climates are typically D-hide rated.
Tactical Pith Helmet
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Cannonfodder
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- Aug 10, 2020
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I was going to take one of those viking river cruises advertised on the tv, then I learned you don't actually get to loot the towns and monasteries along the way
Shamal
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- Aug 2, 2020
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Julius Caesar and Pompey the Great were rivals for the position of First Consul of Rome. They spoke before the Senate, putting forward their cases for election to the post, by recounting their deeds in the service of Rome.
“When the Gauls attacked Rome, I defended the city,” Pompey said, “and drove them out killing 100,000 Gauls.”
“I invaded Gaul,” Caesar said, “and I too slew 100,000 Gauls.”
So the Senate gave the position to Caesar because in Europe away Gauls count double.
“When the Gauls attacked Rome, I defended the city,” Pompey said, “and drove them out killing 100,000 Gauls.”
“I invaded Gaul,” Caesar said, “and I too slew 100,000 Gauls.”
So the Senate gave the position to Caesar because in Europe away Gauls count double.
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Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
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The hole punch was invented in 1886.
The International Boxing Commission banned the move in 1887.
The International Boxing Commission banned the move in 1887.
Shamal
AF-UK patch owner
- Aug 2, 2020
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A South African man wakes up in a hospital in England, dazed and disoriented. The doctors barely saved his life, and asked him what happened.
He replied:
I'm not sure. I was in a pub, which is known as a popular place to meet and get to know locals when I saw 3 really large women at the bar talking to each other. I couldn't make out everything they said, so to be friendly, I asked them ‘Are you 3 ladies from Scotland?’ They replied ‘Wales, you feckin fool!’
So I asked again, ‘Are you 3 whales from Scotland?’
Honestly, that's the last thing I remember before waking up here
He replied:
I'm not sure. I was in a pub, which is known as a popular place to meet and get to know locals when I saw 3 really large women at the bar talking to each other. I couldn't make out everything they said, so to be friendly, I asked them ‘Are you 3 ladies from Scotland?’ They replied ‘Wales, you feckin fool!’
So I asked again, ‘Are you 3 whales from Scotland?’
Honestly, that's the last thing I remember before waking up here
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
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I've got some flat batteries going cheap.
They're free of charge...
They're free of charge...
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