Am I the ass hole?

[Tackle]

Sounds like assholery occurred on both sides to me. But if a sale wasn't to my liking I'd just move on, I wouldn't be a dick about it.

Amen. 

Question to @quango2k, has it sold ?, did you have another buyer also trying to buy the item at the same time as @Musica, as he's inferring ? 

Edit: i asked the question because a real bugbear of mine, & it's happened a couple of times, is when you've started a conversation with someone regarding a sale, their responses indicate its available to you & your just waiting for them to send their PayPal details, & then they go quiet, prompting me to "nudge" them with a pm or two over the next 24hrs, made even more aggravating by the fact they've read messages & not responded, & then the sale item gets marked as sold, & I'm like "WTF MAN", & have been pissed off enough to contemplate shitty feedback, if nothing else for their lack of manners/courtesy?

 

[Steveocee]

Should have split the difference and gone 60p each.

 

[Skullchewer]

And this guy had entirely good feedback until Musica complained about something he didn't buy.

Definitely a dick move to my mind.

Yes, maybe the PayPal fees should have been mentioned in the advert, or at least the advert should have been worded better, but still seems like you're being overly dickish, musica.

 

[Cannonfodder]

View attachment 87808To me both sides look a bit childish and silly

 

[Musica]

And this guy had entirely good feedback until Musica complained about something he didn't buy

All his good feedback doesn't negate any bad feedback. It seems the opinion on here is the feedback section should only be used for sales that went through as apposed to rating the seller (or buyer) so I've said my bad on that and offered for admins to remove it but I stand by  what my feedback says. He sprung the fees on me after I agreed to the £30 advertised price so long as he posted it resonably quickly so I could have it by the 10th of April. Just feels like negotiating in bad faith to me so I wasn't wanting involved and I don't know why but him mentioning he had another buyer ready to pay didn't sit right with me either.

Question to @quango2k, has it sold ?, did you have another buyer also trying to buy the item at the same time as @Musica, as he's inferring ? 

Don't know why you think I am inferring anything it's what HE told me.

View attachment 87809

 

[Groot]

So of all the payment options. You wanted Paypal and got pissy because you didn't want to pay for the protection?

The item has now sold. So i guess he didn't need your money huh?

View attachment 87810

 

[Cannonfodder]

While to me springing the fees on you was a bit if an arsehole thing to do. However, you could've chosen to simply walk away from the deal but instead decided to act like a spoilt child and create unnecessary drama by first leaving negative feedback then starting this thread. 

All in all both sides are being arseholes but the OP is the bigger one by a long way

 

[quango2k]

While to me springing the fees on you was a bit if an arsehole thing to do. However, you could've chosen to simply walk away from the deal but instead decided to act like a spoilt child and create unnecessary drama by first leaving negative feedback then starting this thread. 

All in all both sides are being arseholes but the OP is the bigger one by a long way

I get what you are saying, but in over x100 transactions on these forums, this is the only one with an "issue". Like I said, PP is not the only option so I didn't include it, but based on this fucking pile of nonsense it looks like I will on all future posts because of the 0.1%. 

FYI, I am a self confessed arsehole and proud  

 

[Rogerborg]

Like I said, PP is not the only option so I didn't include it

Out of interest, what proportion of buyers do you find want to take the risk of using something other than non-F&F PayPal?

I'd assume that's the default now and price it in, for a couple of reasons.

1) If they want to pay that way then it avoids this disappointment.

2) If they want to gamble on something else, it's extra money in your pocket.

So, really, why wouldn't you?

 

[Adolf Hamster]

I don't know why but him mentioning he had another buyer ready to pay didn't sit right with me either.

whilst i can get that it's a potential pressure tactic, it can also be viewed as a case of him letting you know there's competition and if you really want it then make your decision quickly.

it may not be the most diplomatic wording, but i don't really see anything wrong with that. hell i've made mention myself if an item has demand and someone wants to wait a few days before paying, if only to be clear that i deal entirely first come first serve.

 

[Steveocee]

When I sell something, I advertise it for what I want it to sell for. Fees are cost of sale. You want them covered, ask for £32 and then knock it down for non-PP buyers.

 

[Tackle]

Lol, this is definitely an entertaining thread, when I voted I voted both, I still stand by that, both are equally right & wrong in their approach & attitudes ?

But at the same time there are lessons to be learned that we could all take from this when it comes to buying & selling. 

Personally, on the rare occasions I sell kit, its always "all in", if someone makes an offer, I'll consider it (I'm not Dedsec ffs?) , & assuming it's a bog standard UK delivery there'll be no extras to be added, lifes too short to quibble over pennies, which is probably why I'll always be poor lol?

View attachment 87826

 

[Jedi_Master]

Moderator comment

I have removed the feedback.  I think that feedback should only be left when there has been an actual sale.

Jedi comment

Creating a topic to discuss this is fine, no personal attacks, and does give the forum something new to read and offer opinions on.

I do like to know the full cost up front. In this case I would have asked for some free BBs to off-set the PayPal fees .

 

[Musica]

So of all the payment options. You wanted Paypal and got pissy because you didn't want to pay for the protection?

The item has now sold. So i guess he didn't need your money huh?

This is your second reply to this post yet you haven't even got the facts straight sir. I never insisted on any payment method it was the seller who asked for it via paypal including fees after I had agreed to pay the £30 for it as advertised. It had shown as sold before I even messaged him saying I would pay £30 so I was surprsied when he got back to me. I then asked him for a paypal invoice at £30 as advertised which isn't an unreasonable request and is recommended by AFUK.

While to me springing the fees on you was a bit if an arsehole thing to do. However, you could've chosen to simply walk away from the deal but instead decided to act like a spoilt child and create unnecessary drama by first leaving negative feedback then starting this thread.

There is no guidlines on feedback being for completed transactions so I left my constructive feedback on my interaction with the seller. I wasn't insulting or offensive or calling him a scammer or swindler. I have said admins can remove the negative feedback as it does seem to be the consensus here that the feedback should be for completed sales so I am not trying to abuse the system.

I started the thead to give everyone a giggle and if you don't like I'm not forcing you to read it so please avoid calling me names as we are all adults here.

 

[Tank423]

Over x100 sales on this forum and you are the ONLY person that has ever complained about paying a PP fee. 

I don't include it in the cost in case you want to pay by another method which several people have done in the past and I have had zero problems. 

Being petty enough to leave me bad feedback even though you have not PURCHASED anything from me for the sake of £1.20, then raising a voting thread over it is as childish and pathetic as you could ever be. 

I even agreed to get it to you fast, which would cost me more in shipping/tracking etc but you were penny pinching. I owe you no favours, I owe you nothing and I am not strapped for cash. If you don't want to pay £1.20, jog on, someone else will. Leaving feedback over it is pathetic. (FYI, I see the irony in that last sentence considering I also left feedback..but what can I say, this has got my back up) 

YOU are the instigator here, you could have just walked on, but you chose to act like a child and start this all off. Starting a thread titles "Am I the asshole" meaning Or is it this guy because he didn't give in to my demands..sorry pal, asshole move. 

IF you are a business seller, I am not a business. 

You had it advertised at a "delivered" price which most of us would assume is the final price just like it is on something like eBay or amazon, to then spring fee's on top is a dick move without having a line in the advert stating fee's are to be added if choosing PP payment method, fee's are small on a £30 item but not so much on a £300 item. All it would take is 30 seconds of your time to avoid situations like this, not really hard is it?

Paypal policies does state:


No surcharges


You agree that you will not impose a surcharge or any other fee for accepting PayPal as a payment method. You may charge a handling fee in connection with the sale of goods or services as long as the handling fee does not operate as a surcharge and is not higher than the handling fee you charge for non-PayPal transactions.

 

[Groot]

This is your second reply to this post yet you haven't even got the facts straight sir. I never insisted on any payment method it was the seller who asked for it via paypal including fees after I had agreed to pay the £30 for it as advertised. It had shown as sold before I even messaged him saying I would pay £30 so I was surprsied when he got back to me. I then asked him for a paypal invoice at £30 as advertised which isn't an unreasonable request and is recommended by AFUK.

You are assuming I care enough about you to do any research and not just find an excuse to troll you and use the Kermit meme?

Never assume. It can make you into the topic of this shitty thread.

 

[Rogerborg]

All it would take is 30 seconds of your time to avoid situations like this

I'd note that it adds no extra time, since you have to do the calculation anyway.

Same for postage, it tickles my tappet when sellers say "plus postage" without having figured out what it will cost to send it in the way that they want, given that it's their risk. If I demanded that a seller only pay 99p for Del Boy's Pizzas and Shooters Delivery Service who offer zero compensation (to them), I'd be told to do one, right?

tl;dr version: decide how much you want in your pocket.  Find out how much it's going to cost to post it the way you want to send it and add that.  Add PayPal fees.  You'll have to do all this anyway at some point, so why on earth not just do it up front, and list that as the price?

Yes, there are issues like Highland and Islands rates, or matey mates who will be daft happy enough to pay F&F, mate (until they get scammed that way), but I'd cost to the rule rather than the exception.

 

[Musica]

Never assume. It can make you into the topic of this shitty thread.

I'm amazed how many people think this thread is a waste of time yet keep coming back and wasting more of their "precious" time in here ?.

 

[Groot]

I'm amazed how many people think this thread is a waste of time yet keep coming back and wasting more of their "precious" time in here ?.

I am highly overpaid, under worked and bored. 

I am also a highly efficient multitasker and this is but one of about 20 tabs open for various projects and time sinks. 

First World IT Problems. 

 

[Cannonfodder]

I started the thead to give everyone a giggle and if you don't like I'm not forcing you to read it so please avoid calling me names as we are all adults here

You're right that nobody is being forced to read this, but you can't make a tgread like this then get upset when you don't get the replies you want.

I said you're acting like a spoilt child so if you find that insulting you really need to grow a thicker skin, and if you want to be treated like an adult then act like one.