Tell Us a Gag. Please!

[Shamal]

must admit, some of these bread jokes are a bit stale.....

Ouch! ?

 

[Adolf Hamster]

Ouch! ?

View attachment 90941

Just because it came up when meme fishing;

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.....

 

[Shamal]

View attachment 90941

Just because it came up when meme fishing;

What do you call a broken can opener?

A can't opener.....

That's actually quite good 

 

[Shamal]

I went greyhound racing last night.

Wow those things are fast....I lost every race.

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

must admit, some of these bread jokes are a bit stale.....

I'm going to eat different types of bread all week.

Roll on Friday!

 

[Jedi_Master]

What do you call an Irish baker?

A ginger breadman.

 

[Adolf Hamster]

a scientist at the lhc managed to get caught in the cooling system, when they got to him his body temperature had dropped to -273.15°C

fortunately he was 0k

 

[Shamal]

Carrying on the science thing.... A neutron walks into a pub and asks how much for a beer. The landlord replies, “For you, no charge.” ?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

The best part about being a scientist is having your hard work and research questioned by people who spent every science class peeling glue from their hands.

 

[Shamal]

Got the wife a new fridge for her birthday.

You should have seen her face light up when she opened it.?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

I really struggled with my helium addiction.

No one took my cries for help seriously.  

 

[Shamal]

Funnily enough I've been reading a book about helium. I just can't put it down.

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Bloody cyclists...

I've created a few I can tell you.  

 

[Shamal]

I was looking out of the lounge window yesterday and I saw a wolf.

I called Mrs shamal "come quick there is a wolf in the garden" she came dashing in at her usual slow crawl,looked and said "where?"

I said "no it's a normal one"

Regards 

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Caught the lad messing about with live electricity again. 

I've grounded him until he learns to conduct himself properly.  

 

[Cannonfodder]

You know when you run out of toilet paper and have to do that pants down waddle to get another? 

Well I'm nearly at tesco 

 

[Shamal]

This just in..

Rare Picasso sells for £106 million.

Who on earth would pay that much for a Citroën?

?

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Sad news from the Nestle factory today.  A worker was crushed at the warehouse.  His cries for help were ignored.

Each time he shouted, 'The Milky Bars are on me,' everyone just cheered. 

 

[Shamal]

Watch out

Polce have toay ssue a warnng to be on the lookout for i.d thefts

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

One has to be careful these days.  You can have monkeypox and not know that you are a carrier.  

You may be achimptomatic.