Johnyboy1976
AF-UK patch owner
- May 2, 2021
- 114
- 94
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Tell Us a Gag. Please!
- Thread starter Shamal
- Start date
Dogsbody100
Members
- Feb 2, 2020
- 145
- 132
Cannonfodder
Members
- Aug 10, 2020
- 3,444
- 5,362
Today I saw a car bumper sticker that said "I'm a veterinarian that's why I drive like an animal".
It made me realise how many gynaecologists there must be on the roads
It made me realise how many gynaecologists there must be on the roads
Adolf Hamster
Supporters
- Feb 1, 2018
- 7,057
- 2,229
Johnyboy1976
AF-UK patch owner
- May 2, 2021
- 114
- 94
Enid_Puceflange
Members
- Jun 23, 2018
- 2,327
- 2,343
What’s the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentle
I wouldn’t pay £50 for a Lentle on my chest
I wouldn’t pay £50 for a Lentle on my chest
Adolf Hamster
Supporters
- Feb 1, 2018
- 7,057
- 2,229
isn't this a thread for jokes not well established facts?
Cannonfodder
Members
- Aug 10, 2020
- 3,444
- 5,362
When you're going to the toilet for the first time after a week eating ration packs
View attachment 79477
And when you're doneView attachment 79478
View attachment 79477
And when you're doneView attachment 79478
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
Dave walked into the pub last night with a black eye. 'How did that happen?' I asked.
Apparently, his wife asked him to make a bird table.
She only came in at number seven.
Apparently, his wife asked him to make a bird table.
She only came in at number seven.
Shamal
AF-UK patch owner
- Aug 2, 2020
- 2,830
- 2,878
- Thread starter
- #76
Well if any of you like a challenge, which I'm sure you do wot with being a ruffty,tuffty airsofter an all,then have a go at this....
Next time you are taking your wife/mistress/partner from behind and the action hots up,whisper in their ear "this is how your sister/mother/friend likes it best"
See how long you can hang on for.
I managed five seconds before I was 'thrown' into bedroom door!! Lol
Regards
Ps.before you ask
It was wife. Mistress got too expensive lol
Next time you are taking your wife/mistress/partner from behind and the action hots up,whisper in their ear "this is how your sister/mother/friend likes it best"
See how long you can hang on for.
I managed five seconds before I was 'thrown' into bedroom door!! Lol
Regards
Ps.before you ask
It was wife. Mistress got too expensive lol
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Cannonfodder
Members
- Aug 10, 2020
- 3,444
- 5,362
Ah, the bucking bronco.
- Jun 28, 2015
- 4,289
- 1,228
That is why you need both a wife and a mistress. Because when your wife thinks that you are with your mistress, and your mistress thinks that you are with your wife... you are free to go airsofting uninterrupted.
Tactical Pith Helmet
AF-UK patch owner
- Jul 5, 2016
- 1,040
- 2,576
A penguin walks into a bar and orders a pint of best bitter. He asks the barman, 'Have you happened to see my brother around?
'Dunno,' says the barman, 'what's he look like?'
'Dunno,' says the barman, 'what's he look like?'
- Oct 7, 2017
- 6,069
- 5,360
A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking Dog For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden."
The man sees a very nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the dog.
"Yes," the Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden."
Last edited by a moderator:
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