Tell Us a Gag. Please!

[Jedi_Master]

Less of a gag, and more a sick joke:

Biden and his cameltoe.

 

[Shamal]

 After being carried out of Kings Cross station yesterday with concussion, I’m starting to think my acceptance letter from Hogwarts was a hoax! ?

Regards 

 

[EDcase]

 After being carried out of Kings Cross station yesterday with concussion, I’m starting to think my acceptance letter from Hogwarts was a hoax! ?

Regards 

Or did you think you were participating in the 'Philadelphia Experiment'? ?

So what happened?  A good trip I assume... ?

 

[Shamal]

Did you really think you were participating in the 'Philadelphia Experiment'? ?

Crikey I don't want to go on that cruise again. "Welcome aboard but don't touch any thing. We will take you to a whole new dimension of enjoyment."

Next I knew I was sparking and going see through and back in me grannies scullery! 

"Where do I get a feckin' refund?"

?

Regards 

 

[Sitting Duck]

not quite a joke but I found it funny all the same

& the guy's response is sort peew peew related...

View attachment 74359

 

[GenuineGerman]

Penguin walks into his local and ask the barman “have you seen my brother?”

Barman asks “what’s he look like?”

 

[Johnyboy1976]

Girlfriend did a good gag last night - in all fairness i should have washed off the dick cheese first

 

[Shamal]

Sadly I lost my dear friend from Holland after a fall today. I’ll always remember how she wore inflatable shoes.  But sadly now she has popped her clogs.?

Yeah yeah I'm going...

Regards 

 

[MiK]

“I’m a Millionaire!!!”

 

[Shamal]

Raid in local zoo. It has been reported that armed activists have raided the local zoo.  It appears no people or animals have been hurt, but they are holding several ostriches.

Regards 

 

[Johnyboy1976]

View attachment 75151

 

[Shamal]

Hi all me again. No don't all groan at once.?

I've noticed recently that babies are the fastest-selling things in supermarkets.  You see a lot of them in the trolleys, but I've never seen any on the shelves!?

regards 

 

[Tactical Pith Helmet]

Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York. Frightening stuff.  

If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

 

[Shamal]

I am writing a novel about a dog sent to space to retrieve a lost ball but I was wondering, do you think it is too far fetched?

??

Regards 

 

[Cannonfodder]

Apparently this goes against faceache community standards View attachment 76745

 

[Shamal]

Apparently this goes against faceache community standards View attachment 76745

Haha.

Like it ?

 

[Shamal]

My wife said to me last night that she had a bag of used clothes to give to the charity shop and can I take them up there for her.

I said just throw them in bin it's easier.

She said there were thousands of poor starving people in the world that would benefit from having them.

Stupidly I said that anyone who can get into your clothes certainly ain't starving!!

And that's why I can't make this Sundays game and why I'll possibly be walking with a limp! ?

Regards 

 

[EDcase]

My wife said to me last night that she had a bag of used clothes to give to the charity shop and can I take them up there for her.

I said just throw them in bin it's easier.

She said there were thousands of poor starving people in the world that would benefit from having them.

Stupidly I said that anyone who can get into your clothes certainly ain't starving!!

And that's why I can't make this Sundays game and why I'll possibly be walking with a limp! ?

Regards 

At least you didn't say that one of her dresses could help an entire family....

If used as a tent ?

 

[Shamal]

At least you didn't say that one of her dressed could help an entire family....

If used as a tent ?

Haha. Gawd help me!

 

[Shamal]

Electric car conversion advice. If you would like an electric car, I converted my old petrol car, using the motor from my tumble dryer.  It works a treat and is very fast and efficient.  However, the only thing I discovered is that it won’t go if the door hasn’t shut properly.?