Bruno

For sale.
 
A rectangular cardboard box. Good quality print work. A lovely shade of brown.
 
Comes with a completely crap king arms SAA. Would look good if you want something to put on your wall and show both your love for guns and your solidarity for the LGBTQ community with its rainbow colour scheme. 
It holds gas. When you pull the trigger some even comes out of the barrel. Though most goes somewhere else. Mostly on your hand. Hell, run it on propane, who doesn't want their hand to smell like rotten anus? Reminds me of when uncle Brian used to come round for playtime...
 
It comes with 6 shells, so if you are stupid enough to already own one of these then hooray, you have a means of carrying another 6 shots of bitter disappointment. And some spares so you can prolong your poor decision even further.
 
This one has been customised. Actually, I'm going to call it weathering. By that I mean I dropped it on a slab about 10 minutes ago by accident while trying to be pretty good. Turns out I'm not pretty good.
 
What else...
 
Oh, faux wood grips that look like they were fashioned from a mid 1990s rover interior.
 
It has a gun sock too to keep it looking pristine. Until you twirl it and it lands on something hard. Like a slab.
 
Or, for the teenagers browsing this forum, the sock could good for a wank or two while watching the free bit of porn that comes on telly between midnight and 1am because mum put a filter on the internet. 
 
So , what this is is a gun for everyone. Horny teenagers, the downtrodden, the weirdos and those who like something a bit custom.
 
So for this unique opportunity to own something I can't be arsed to put in the bin, I am asking for 35 of your hard earned (or if your furloughed, hard wanked) great british queens pounds please, that includes paying a man in shorts to come and post a sorry we missed you card through your letterbox and kick your cat in the face on the way back up the drive. And in return you'll get the most honestly described airsoft gun since jambwow discovered crack.