Tell Us a Gag. Please!

sonofsammo said:
How many stupid people does it take to change a light bulb?

Five.

One to stand on the stool and hold the bulb, the other four to turn the stool round.

I went to give blood the other day. 
I'm not fricking doing it again. Just too many questions.
Where did you get it from?
Whose is it?
Why is it in a bucket?


 
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I think I posted the second gag a year ago. Still funny though ?

Tackle said:
LOL, no, October, the "great storm", fuck all great about it though ?
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Haha. Sounds like a story behind that ?

 
How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark.

I was walking home with my wife when we saw my mother in law being attacked by 6 men.
"Aren't you going to help?!" asked my concerned wife.
"Six ought to be enough" I replied.

 
I changed a light bulb on my own yesterday it was easy.

I kept the receipt so no problem...?

 
How many psychoanalytic therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two: one to enthusiastically screw the bulb, one to firmly grasp the penis, sorry, I meant ladder....

 
This is really what the mind is all about. How we process information.

What goes up down but not down up?

All the relevant information is there.?

Regards

 
How many cognitive behavioural therapy practitioners does it take to change a lightbulb?

Somewhere between 1 and 10.

 
At the local zoo, I spotted one cage with just a ham roll in it.  Slightly confused, I asked the zoo keeper if this was deliberate. They told me it was and that it was bread in captivity.

 
I was going to make a joke about sales posts and users with numbers at the end of their names, but decided on discretion ??

 
Two tampons are walking down the street. Which one of them says hello to you first?

Neither, they're both stuck up c**ts!

 
I was just viewing a woman's profile on a dating website,
'Blonde 33 Great Personality 5ft  3 Green Eyes.'
Don't get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against short women, but, 3 green eyes?
No wonder she's single! ?

 
Saw my next door neighbour over the fence she told me that she was having a problem, someone has been stealing clothes off her washing line

I nearly sh1t her pants...

 
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