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DrAlexanderTobacco
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Where does a general hide his armies?
Up his sleevies
Jokes and memes thread
- Thread starter Canen
- Start date
Roger De Courcey called, Nookie Bear wants to know where the royalty payments are for his ancient joke??
(dear god this dates me!! ?)
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Brexit
- Jun 28, 2015
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This country has me seriously considering leaving for Canada or New Zealand and not coming back lately!
My Airsoft Buddy is doing exactly that. He thinks it’ll only get worse, and I am beginning to agree with him.
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Parliament
And there I was thinking I’d ended the thread, and I was Trumped ??
- Jun 28, 2015
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Nicky blue eyes
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- Oct 21, 2016
- 296
- 10
A guy joins the french foreign legion, gets promoted to captain and sent to a remote fort in the desert.
On his first day he's inspecting the fort and sees a mankey, disgusting old camel sitting in the corner.
He shouts out " sargent. What is this horrible creature doing here?" The sargent says " Well mon capitaine, the nearest town is 4 miles away and the men start missing women....if you know what I mean. So then they use the camel....."
The captain stops him and says" thats disgusting! I will never use the camel like that!
3 months on and the captain is desperate for a screw. He shouts out "sargent bring that camel in here" so he dose. With that the captain drops his trousers and buggers the shit out out of the poor animal. When he's finished he calls for the sargent to take it away. He says " so sargent do the other men use the camel like that often?"
The sargent replys "No, mon capitaine they ride it to town and use the brothel!"
On his first day he's inspecting the fort and sees a mankey, disgusting old camel sitting in the corner.
He shouts out " sargent. What is this horrible creature doing here?" The sargent says " Well mon capitaine, the nearest town is 4 miles away and the men start missing women....if you know what I mean. So then they use the camel....."
The captain stops him and says" thats disgusting! I will never use the camel like that!
3 months on and the captain is desperate for a screw. He shouts out "sargent bring that camel in here" so he dose. With that the captain drops his trousers and buggers the shit out out of the poor animal. When he's finished he calls for the sargent to take it away. He says " so sargent do the other men use the camel like that often?"
The sargent replys "No, mon capitaine they ride it to town and use the brothel!"
Last edited by a moderator:
Druid799
Supporters
- Sep 9, 2015
- 4,695
- 2,403
Druid799
Supporters
- Sep 9, 2015
- 4,695
- 2,403
Nicky blue eyes
Members
- Oct 21, 2016
- 296
- 10
A sloth gets mugged by 3 tortoises.
The police ask him " what happened"?
The sloth says "I don't know. It all happened so quickly!"
The police ask him " what happened"?
The sloth says "I don't know. It all happened so quickly!"
One of my mates is a dwarf, he’s a bit shy with women and a virgin. For his 25th Birthday his twin brother decided they’d go to Amsterdam. After a few drinks they decided it was time for Dave to finally get his end away so headed for a brothel.
Dave found a lovely blonde girl, paid the fee and headed to the room. His brother did the same except picked a lovely red head. Dave and the girl sat on the bed but unfortunately he suffered a bit of stage fright and spent the whole time trying to get his limp dick to work. The whole time all he could hear was his brother in the next room grunting loudly and the occasional shout of “1, 2, 3”.
After his failure Dave and his brother met up for a ‘celebratory’ beer to trade war stories. Dave came clean and admitted that he had been unable to get an erection.
“You sounded like you were enjoying yourself though, you seemed to go on forever” said Dave.
”Fuck off, you had a better night than me.” Said his brother. “I couldn’t even get on the fucking bed.”
Dave found a lovely blonde girl, paid the fee and headed to the room. His brother did the same except picked a lovely red head. Dave and the girl sat on the bed but unfortunately he suffered a bit of stage fright and spent the whole time trying to get his limp dick to work. The whole time all he could hear was his brother in the next room grunting loudly and the occasional shout of “1, 2, 3”.
After his failure Dave and his brother met up for a ‘celebratory’ beer to trade war stories. Dave came clean and admitted that he had been unable to get an erection.
“You sounded like you were enjoying yourself though, you seemed to go on forever” said Dave.
”Fuck off, you had a better night than me.” Said his brother. “I couldn’t even get on the fucking bed.”
Druid799
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- Sep 9, 2015
- 4,695
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DopeYourScope
Members
- May 29, 2018
- 263
- 88
Knock knock
Who’s there
Ze Gestapo
Gestapo who?
VE VILL BE ASKING ZE QUESTIONS
Who’s there
Ze Gestapo
Gestapo who?
VE VILL BE ASKING ZE QUESTIONS
Druid799
Supporters
- Sep 9, 2015
- 4,695
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- Jun 28, 2015
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Can’t get much worse than trump and Johnson running the “free world”
im starting to think New Zealand is not far enough away
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