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zombie apocalypse.....would your gun do the job!?

Interesting thread. For me it's got to be drop the airsoft guns and pickup twin knuckle dusters with knife points at the sides. If you are quite handy with your fists you would be surprised how useful this would be. Use the duster edge for cracking skulls and ribs, and the pointy side for piercing eye sockets, throats and hearts and lungs.

You have zero reloads and carry very very little weight as well as being extremely agile (as apposed to holding a gun or spear/sword). You are very free to take any stance required or desired and can even throw in a couple of cheeky elbows, kicks and knees to soften them up

(And yes I have learnt to actually fight.... And no I am not a phsycho lol)

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@Longshot: I'm hardly one to criticise anybody for essay writing on forums, or for taking essentially meaningless discussions in deadly earnest, because i do both and have very good reasons for why... however, in this thread i'm convinced you are being intentionally obtuse for the sake of 'winning' an argument, which is fine on a forum dedicated to, or with a predilection for, pure rhetoric, but feels unhelpful here, even in a daft thread...

I think it's fairly obvious that Ed intended to use his katana/doorway combination in the only sensible way - while standing just inside the doorway, with enough room inside the room/hallway/etc to swing and/or maneuver a standard length 30" katana, he would use its length to either stab the only zombie that could get near him, through the doorway, through the brain, or slash if the stabbing proved impossible. Any defeated zombie would fall where it stood, right in front of and in the doorway, creating a trip hazard for those coming behind.

I have reservations about an untrained person's ability to successfully stab a moving head sized target and recover a 30" flat sided blade, however taking the zombies' complete lack of self defence into consideration, I think that on balance that 1st zombie would not get through the door. Thereafter, due to the trip hazard, Ed would have sufficient time to use a foot to brace the body while he recovered the blade, but he would require good luck to bring it to bear on the 2nd zombie while still close enough to the doorway to pile the 2nd dead on top of the 1st...

I think that stabbing through the mouth would be effective. It would allow the severance of the brainstem, either in the 1st thrust or, partially acting against the mandible as a pivot, during recovery.

I have been attacked with a baseball bat twice in my life. Neither occasion went that well for me, but obviously I did not die, and, you'll have to take my word for it that, the only reasons I came out of either encounter without sufficiently grievous bodily harm to prevent me from taking up airsoft years later was because, despite the injuries I did receive, I remained enough of a threat to my attackers with my bare hands to decide that they had made their point...

I don't feel that I could have done anywhere near so well against a sword.

 
I'm surprised about the amount of knife/sword owners in this thread! No gun owners though... Unless I've missed it. I'd use the family 12 gauge. Next door neighbor has a pump action too.

I've also had my eye on a lovely Kukri blade, I have no reason to buy it other than to admire it in the flesh. If I had it I assume it'd be one of the best to use in this hypothetical scenario.

 
I wouldn't say I was being 'obtuse' - I understand perfectly well what people were describing they think they could do - but I'll certainly admit to being very picky; and I do like to win arguments!

The problem with this whole scenario for me is two-fold. Firstly, zombies that can only be killed by destroying the brain are magical and have no scientific basis whastoever. As a result the whole scenario requires us to magic up our own definition of the zombies' capabailities. If we rule out 'fast moving zombies' (I'm not going to say '28 Days Later zombies' since there are no zombies in that film) then we're left with 'shamblers.' Personally I imagine these things would still have the ability to raise their arms in defence and swing at you aggresively, even though they may move slowly. I also imagine that since their limbs, muscles and bone are magically holding them together and still moving them that they would also be relatively strong if they got their hands on you. Most people on here, however, are imagining their zombies as moving as slowly as possible, with no head movement at all and having bone and muscle that is paper thin and therefore requires little to no strength to cut through or pierce. I have no idea how such a thing could still move or stand, but since it is a magic thing I'll happily concede that, in this case, any idiot could stand there with a £150 piece of moulded metal that has an edge on it (and a laser etched hamon for good effect) that they want to call a katana and could, given the fact that they have pretty much unlimited time to kill the zombie (as it now seems to pose no significant threat) simply hack or stab it up and then drag its corpse to wherever they wanted it.

Secondly, and what actually annoys me more, is that people have no experience of fighting in the style they claim they would employ yet think they could do it because someone in a work of fiction did so. Why is nobody saying "I'd stand 10 foot from the doorway just throwing throwing knives into the eye sockets of any zombie that came through!"? The answer, I imagine, is because people (probably having attempted to actually throw something sharp at a board at some point and realising it's not actually as easy to do as it looks in the movies) accept that they couldn't do it with any reasonable level of power or skill unless they had practiced it for a very long time. Yet when it comes to swords in particular everyone decides that they could easily use it the way they do in the movies, with no practce whatsoever, despite the fact that they have never actually tried to cut anything with their swords. Indeed if they had ever taken a sword to anything that remotely resembles a human limb they would realise that it is not easy to cut apart in a single stroke at all (though again, I'll happily concede that when fighting a paper thin zombie this of not going to be such a big issue). Furthermore and finally (finally! :) ) if there was a horde of zombies to deal with you'd have to be cutting over and over again and also probably doing so in a situation of high stress. It's at this point that people with no experience of fighting whatsoever realise that continous combat is very tiring and requires trained muscles - especially if it's combat that involves wielding a big lump of steel! Moreover, adrenaline is a great thing if you are used to dealing with it, but will mess you up completely if you're not (as most people who don't train any fighting style at all or train incorrectly often find, to their detriment, when they end up in any real confrontation).

 
Some very valid points in there pal, especially the adrenalin one. If anyone here has ever trained for combat and have had the opportunity to go up against 'the angry man' (man in a very well padded suit and helmet who literally feels no pain and just keeps coming back at you) you will appreciate how this goes down. The less experienced persons adrenalin kicks in and they go nuts attacking the angry man and are literally 'spent' (no energy left) in under a minute. Adrenaline is good for raising the body's power but crap for stamina (unless you know what your doing). I have done angry man sessions with a sword (rubber/wood/plastic of course) and its incredibly nakering. Swinging that heavy sword is a lot harder then you think and recovering it to the next swing able position is longer than you think as you are totally committed with every swing.. Considering in a zombie apoc you will be running, climbing, jumping, crawling a lot as as fighting of course you would be better off with something small and light but still potentially deadly (hence the knuckle dusters with knife ends). You can throw a lot more punches and be more accurate and last longer then swinging swords plus you still have your hands ready to climb, grab, hold etc. That said though if you punch like a girl this wont help very much lol

I think it all comes down to training and experience. The average man would be pretty useless with most weapons, whereas chuck Norris could kill a whole heard of zombies with a tea spoon!

 
longshot, allow me to use a gun analogy, anyone can use a sniper rifle ... yet to use it well you must have skill/training etc.

just out of interest, i take it you practice sword fighting? (this is no way intended to come across as i am having a go, i am just interested if you do)

my own personel experience with flesh cutting etc, was when i was doing some work at a pig slaughter house (i am a electrician by trade), from my experience, i can say that a circular saw with a masionary bit in will not cut through flesh ;) ... however a saw blade is a different story ;)

 
I could do Chuck Norris with my bare hands.

I wonder if Chuck-Norris-Zombie would be any harder to kill than, say, Paris-Hilton-Zombie?

Oh sod it...!

@Longshot: as BD says, some very valid points, but the point of the doorway is to limit the zombie's potential movement - you literally couldn't miss. I agree that how much damage an untrained person could do with a sword is debatable, but taking me with my sword as the example - I am strong enough to swing it with enough force and it is heavy enough that no outstretched arms would deflect it significantly, if I was going for a downward chop, from my right to left, to the zombie's neck/shoulder interface. The resulting wound would kill a real person by shattering their vertebrae, severing the spinal column, and they would also exsanguinate. Dunno if merely separating the brain from connection to the nervous system would kill a zombie, but the force of the blow would stop it in the doorway, and, since there would be no significant suction from flesh to blade, recovery straight back before raising the blade straight up rather than swinging back (to save energy and time) would be a doddle - I would get a 2nd go which would sever the head, or leave it hanging by skin down the zombie's back or chest...

How long could I keep it up for (ooh er missus)? Fear is a great motivator and yeah adrenaline can make a person tremble and initially feel weak, micturate, fill their boxers, and/or puke, all of which are unpleasant, but do not preclude them fighting when their lives are at stake. In my own case, I have had some experience fighting real 'angry men', so I expect that I wouldn't suffer more than a little piddle...

Having met Ed on a number of occasions, I would expect him to do ok. He might well suffer some ignominious incontinence, but that would not stop him doing the business if his life were at stake.

 
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"just out of interest, i take it you practice sword fighting? (this is no way intended to come across as i am having a go, i am just interested if you do)"

Not really, not in the same sense as Ian does wherby I'm following a specific art form of it at least, though i have recently begun doing some training in Eurpoean medieval style weapons (primarily spear, kite shield and axe based stuff - though this is generally fighting in formation and shield wall rather than one on one). My structured experience is all in unarmed stuff. I've been an MMA instructor for about 11 years now, but spent time as a British Combat Association instructor back in the day when RBSD was all the big thing there for a while, so I've done some weapon based training through that. My interest in weapons is primarily collecting, reading about and playing with them, and I've amassed a ridiculous amount of them over the years! The difference, to a degree, is that I keep a pell to use in my back garden and did (before my son came along) have a pole with a big spike sticking out of it for attaching things to and practising cuts on or destruction testing weapons on.

From my experiene I would say the problem with saying "anyone can use a sword" is that it is as true as saying "anyone can throw a punch;" it is true, but anyone who actually knows about throwing punches will tell you there's a lot more to doing it than simply throwing your arm out with your fist clenched, it takes timing technique and (particularly in a high adrenaline situation) the sort of muscle memory that only comes from a lot of training. Despite my limited explerience with swords, I'd have to say that they must be regarded in the same way; it's more than just swinging the lump of metal. When I've done cutting tests with swords (and I'm talking about cheap stuff as well as using my good expensive katanas and my Albion made European swords) I've found that I'm not all that bad and killing fruit, veg and lumps of meat - as long as they stay perfectly still and I can line them up nice and slow and really concentrate on a good cut. But would I feel confident in a 'sword fight' as a result? No! I'd start swinging like a mad man and probably hit with the flat of the blade more often than not (I end up doing that even on the fruit!), and I know I'd get tired fast. That said, I'd still rather have the sword than not when faced with zombies!

Lastly, I have nothing against the idea of trapping things in a doorway - it's not a bad strategy at all - I just don't think that a katana is the right tool for the job since (unless you were good enough to drop it in one solid cut) you'd have to be significantly far away from the door to swing the sword at anything coming through several times (and the thing would have to be through the doorway before you could hit it with any meaningful downward strokes) so I just don't believe it would fall into the door as you would hope. Personally, if I wasn't going to have to drag it around with me afterwards, I'd take a large shield in that scenario, something like a Roman scutum, stand in the doorway with my body behind it allowing the undead to build up, and then take a short/medium length, relatively light straight-bladed weapon like a Roman gladius, and stab away at any heads you see. That would guarantee your protection behind the shield, the pile of bodies blocking the door (as you're now actually killing them in the doorway itself) and eliminiate any danger of hitting walls, ceilings and doorframes that you're inevitably going to face with any weapon that requires a swinging motion.

 
My weapon requires a swinging motion....and it always put my wife on her back....even if it is in a small confines of the bedroom!!!....also if your wife finds you blow drying your penis after a shower and she asks "what are you doing!" the wrong reply is "heating your dinner"...

 
In the situation I set up in people's minds, pretend I had said I had a "1 to 3 foot long, metal stick, with a pointy end" instead of a katana.

I don't see why it matters that it's a sword and I have no sword training. I wouldn't be swinging it in a doorway, I'd have held it with one hand on the actual handle part, and my other on the back of the blade near the tip, as a guide. Then when I'd lined it up with a zombie's head, thrust it through it's face, severing the spinal cord and rendering it a motionless sack of meat, in my door.

At the distance you use a sword from, and using my forward arm to aim it, missing it would be impossible and having been in high adrenaline, potentially life threatening situations before, I think I'd do alright keeping my cool. Especially with the knowledge that keeping my cool would keep me alive and massively increase my survival chances.

If swinging were required, so what if I dulled the blade or was shit at using it properly? It's a metal stick. It's going to fuck up whatever it smashed into, whether it hits sharp end first or otherwise.

 
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Swords? Knuckle dusters? Really?

I'm going for the semi-auto 12 bore and some 42 gramme BB cartridges. They'll make a BIG hole at close range, and will slow pretty much anything down out to about 30 yards.

And yes, it is another weapon that you need training to use effectively in a stressful situation. Try sticking a solid slug into a charging wild boar for stress, zombies don't even come close!

 
Airsoft gun, maybe (though all the stuff about needing the space to get a proper swing works as much with a swung "club" as a sword.) Real steel shotgun though, not in the slightest! A couple of thousand cartridges should keep you going for a while, and that's the minimum I keep in the ammunition safe!

Would be fun picking them off at 200-300 yards with the stalking rifle too, though that might give the position away somewhat.

 
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think what you are looking for is a bottle neck that dosent restrict your movement. also by the movements your planing, (stab through the head, surely a spear/halbard would be of a better design for your plan? course im just not a fan of trying to hold out like that against zombies, never works in the movies/games/tv shows etither, they always get bogged down eventually. either get behind some really thick walls, or move around, taking out the isolated ones as safely as possible... unless that door has a remote and will smash through zombies when closed so you can recover when you get eventually tired. im no saying you wont get through 10+ zombies your way, just you will have your limit, as would even a trained swordsman... just dont know the rest of you plan? blaze of glory, taking as many as possible, distraction for others etc. not that its a bad plan, a bad plan is like the camper they found in the walking dead whom hung himself to prevent becommig a zombie, died became a hung zombie.... yours may well have merrit, infact if i ever get round to making a zombie movie/comic it could well be one of the examples i use at some point...

also by no means anywhere near as good as a katana but this is probably what i would run with in zombieland,(probably just the head though, depending...



 
Y'know what? I'm just going to stop commenting.

I read this thread as "Oh look a zombie thing, that'll never happen, let's have fun for 10 minutes"

What I got was, "Hey look, I'm feeling like a pedantic douche, let's all point out every possible flaw in everything Ed's said for the past 3 days"

I KNOW IT'S FLAWED, you could point out flaws with everything everyone has said, as the whole point of zombies is that there's more than one person can ever deal with. Guns, swords, bombs? It doesn't matter, you can't kill them all, your perfect plans will always fall apart in the end.

Otherwise zombie movies would be the most shit movies ever because it'd just be a load of people sat in a bunker until they starved to death.

Stabbing zombies in the face would kill them, no? Whether with a knife, a fork, a sword, a fucking spoon if you stabbed hard enough. You could even punch them in the face until their head's came off.

If they died slightly ahead of a door, they'd slump into it. Zombies coming through would stumble on them, fall in the door as well, positioning themselves perfectly for me to stab them all in the head.

Simples.

I don't care that it wouldn't work forever, I don't care that there are better tools for the job, I don't care that I'm not trained or that apparently, stabbing zombies in the head with sharp things is really hard to do (it isn't btw, have you never seen a zombie movie?)

Now everyone stfu, or I'm going to edit all your posts to just look like you're coming out of the closet or something.

...*evils*

 
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I'm coming out of the closet everyone Can i get a Hand?

I'm secretly gay, everyone. Or at least, I was until now. What better thread to come out of the closet, eh?

 
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Lol.. I agree I think most of us have over thought this out. But it's difficult when you are used to combat (real or airsoft) it's difficult not to risk assess in detail and over complicate a simple discussion

It reminds me once of when I asked my mrs the silly basic question of what would you do with lottery winnings. We got into an argument about what members of friends and family would be given what amounts only to suddenly realise we have not and probably never will win the lottery. Next time I will just answer with the generic answer "buy a Ferrari ' lol

 
dude no, you buy a farm/ old factory complex /abandoned fairground and turn it into the most awesome airsoft site in the world(one that breaks even at least so it dosent go under eventually...), pfft ferrari....then buy everyone on this forum an awesome gun/ give us free days play etc.... and give the mrs a personal spa or something so she lets you do it.... lol.

and ed, sorry no offence intended i just like to think things through, as i said im thinking of doing some zombie things(probably one of those plans that never happens....) so just like ideas....

also one of these could well be quite handy fo the hypothetical apocalypse...

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=anti+zombie+table&safe=off&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=_niwUe7bHeaX1AWG64GgAg&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ&biw=1241&bih=567#facrc=_&imgrc=JwafGzs2fIX-rM%3A%3BS8ZkTXrDJwdzTM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fcdn0.lostateminor.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2010%252F04%252FAnti-Zombie-Night-Table.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.lostateminor.com%252F2010%252F04%252F28%252Fanti-zombie-night-table%252F%3B480%3B465

 
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