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Misheard Phrases.

“F**k off you boring c**t” Being mis-heard as, “oh yes please, I’d love to see your holiday slides from Coventry in 1964”

 
When people say/type asked instead of arsed.

"I cant be asked to go out today" - I always ASK why at that point. 

 
Not misheard, but i used to work in I. T. on a contract supporting the Met. Police. 

It was amazing how many of them didn't know the phonetic alphabet. I loved fucking with them when spelling things by saying things like P for pneumonia, G for gnome, x for xylophone etc.  I could hear their brains exploding down the phone line. 

 
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