OP, You're mistaken for counting shipping charges as against PayPal's T&Cs. That clause is designed to prevent charging fees for handling the payment via PayPal or to try and cover the fee that PayPal itself charges the seller. Shipping charges are not the same thing.
I advertise excl shipping because the buyer can see the actual price of the item I'm offering and they can choose the method of shipping that suits them and their budget. The final cost is then agreed and that is what is processed by PayPal.
You rant that "Is it really THAT hard to work out what you want for it ?", so I counter with "is it really that hard to add on a little to cover how you want it shipped?" It's the same with any online retailer...
I prefer sales listings to be either all inclusive or to be clear about any extras in the listing.
If there is the possibility of face to face then there can be no postage or fees due to cash.
Then either show what the extra would be, or make it clear that’s to be added later.
Postage can be a tricky subject with guns etc as the size & weight can put the price up, let alone limited carriers and methods that are suitable & have the right insurance etc.
So its better to give an idea, but if the buyer doesn’t like it when they see how much postage will cost then that just turns it into a no sale and is just a matter of how much hassle it is or isn’t to almost get a sale.
I sold one of my more pricey guns about a year ago, it took something like 18 months to achieve with a lot of comms from prospective buyers - quite a few were just chancing it for a rock bottom price, others balked at the cost of proper postage and adequate insurance asking me to drop that for something cheaper, or wondering why I don’t want a direct bank transfer to avoid fees.
It didn’t bother me that much because rather than needing the cash I was just selling something worth a few £s that I wasn’t using and only lending out, if it wasn’t with filling my wallet then it wasn’t worth selling.
I dislike sellers who will throw up an amount of money that they want to make, but then it constantly goes up and up in negotiation.
It’s fine to cover fees in the price that will get charged as it goes through